Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

by Tom Ziller on Mar 4, 2007 12:16 PM PST in Commentary

Sunday is typically the only day of the week I see the dead-tree version of The Sacramento Bee instead of the .com edition.

So imagine my horror open flipping to 6C and reading this lovely passage from Sam Amick (which was slightly altered on the website):

Artest had a blunt message for anyone who thinks he's faking it.

"They can all ... , really," Artest said, using a vulgar phrase referring to the male anatomy. "That's how I really feel about it."

There are three possibilities for the unprintable statement (and I apologize in advance for offending your Sunday sensibilities):

"They can all kiss my Adam's apple, really."
"They can all caress my scrotum, really."
"They can all suck my d*ck, really."

I'm hoping it was Option #1, but I'm assuming it was Option #3.

How bad it that quote? Bad enough that Bee editors removed the reference to male anatomy in the online version. Bad enough that I can only assume Ron-Ron is going to get fined by the team. Bad enough that I might hire some personal security to accompany me to the Spurs game on Thursday.

The other day, NBA Fanhouse comrade Bethlehem Shoals said he'll "never really understand why Arenas is 'quirky' but Artest is merely a 'thug.'" This is why - he tells a reporter that his coach and his fans they can suck his d*ck if they find his game-time indecision annoying. 'Thug' isn't quite the right word for this situation - 'dumbass' might be more appropriate.

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Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

Other alternatives:

They can all squeeze my bicep, really...
They can all pat my pecs, really...
They can all massage my prostate, really...

Kings-obsessed. A's obsessed. More ramblings: louisgray.com

by louismg on Mar 4, 2007 1:07 PM PST reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

My bet is that the said they can....."blow me."

by Kusian on Mar 4, 2007 1:11 PM PST reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

In all fairness, it isn't like anyone could possibly ever see this coming from Ron Artest. Heh.

by Carl on Mar 4, 2007 1:39 PM PST reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

You're slipping, TZ. This is definately a low point.

by KingsFan on Mar 4, 2007 3:25 PM PST reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

What?

by Tom Ziller on Mar 4, 2007 3:30 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

Seriously, TZ. You're "going down" so to speak.

Kings-obsessed. A's obsessed. More ramblings: louisgray.com

by louismg on Mar 4, 2007 9:15 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

Are you saying he should stay away from this with a ten foot pole?

He's pesky I tell ya.

by pyro on Mar 4, 2007 10:08 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

Good gourd, my eyes!

by Tom Ziller on Mar 5, 2007 7:07 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

He said, "feed my dog", in the metaphorical sense, which could mean any number of things, but Amick was being careful.

Natomaser

by Natomaser on Mar 4, 2007 9:45 PM PST reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

He probably was just saying he was cock of the walk, referring to his leadership skills.

Kings-obsessed. A's obsessed. More ramblings: louisgray.com

by louismg on Mar 4, 2007 11:28 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

You are having way too much fun with this thread, louis! (psst...keep it up. Ron would.)

He's pesky I tell ya.

by pyro on Mar 4, 2007 11:54 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

Oh snap.

by Tom Ziller on Mar 5, 2007 7:07 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Ron Artest Would Like Some Fellatio, Please.

I think Ron-Ron is assuring his departure from the team this offseason. First the dog thing, then this - and his myriad of less obvious annoying actions.

One thing about the Maloof's - they are well aware of what happened up in Portland (a situation so similar to Sacramento's that it's scary) when the fans rebelled against the team. Luckily, we are talking about one guy here, but the current environment here is pretty touchy - and the Maloof's and Petrie have to know that.

It's clear that Ron-Ron is still a loose cannon, and the Kings need to hope he finishes the season playing well so they can get something for him before October.

by otis29 on Mar 5, 2007 11:39 AM PST reply actions