I'm tryin', I'm tryin' to get a full handle on whom might be interested in Mike Bibby over the next month. Let's systemize this bee-otch.

INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY TO TRADE FOR A $13 MILLION PLAYER AT THIS POINT

Boston: They'd have to dump everyone but the Boston Three Party into the mix to add up to Bibby's salary.

San Antonio: No need, no space, no chance.

Detroit: No need, no space, no chance.

Phoenix: No space, no need, no chance.

SET AT POINT GUARD FOREVER AND UNLIKELY TO ROLL WITH BIBBY AS TWO-GUARD

New Orleans: The Chris Paul-Speedy Claxton combination worked nicely, but this team has plenty of shooters and not many tradeable pieces.

Utah: The Jazz cannot possibly go into the playoffs with all three 2006-07 Sacramento point guards.

Golden State: Baron Davis and Monta Ellis are both superstuds, and Bibby might not have a itchy-enough trigger finger for GSW Hoops.

Toronto: The Raptors need point guard help, but more of the cheap-deferential-defending sort.

Memphis: One of these teams is doing its own thing. One of these teams is not like the others. Still, Mike Conley and Kyle Lowry and Juan Carlos Navarro.

OUT OF THE 2008 RACE AND NOT IN DENIAL

Minnesota: Bibby would have to make a statement in blood and offer Mike Jr. as collatoral to ensure he'd opt out for this deal to get done.

Seattle: Unless Geoff Petrie is enamored with Wally Szczerbiak...

Miami: Don't look now, but Pat Riley got religion. This is still iffy placement, however; (note to coolcat:) Riley is fickle.

RATHER UNLIKELY FOR EXTRANEOUS REASONS

Portland: No one sees Portland making a big move this season, right?

Washington: The spectre of Gilbert Arenas' return would preclude a stopgap this magnificently large.

POSSIBILE, BUT UNLIKELY

Charlotte: The Bobcats seem to like Ray Felton, you'd think Charlotte'd be looking for size on the market. Sam Vincent seems to dislike small lineups, negating the dice-roll of a Felton/Bibby/Jason Richardson/Gerald Wallace/Emeka Okafor lineup which would make me wet my pants.

New Jersey: The Nets have lost five straight and folks are saying Jason Kidd's near the end of his floss. But I can't imagine Petrie wants to take that headache, and both Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson would seem out of place. Intriguing if it landed Kidd for a season-and-a-half, though.

Milwaukee: Intriguing because DAMN that team needs to be shaken up. Unlikely because DAMN that team has a bunch of iffy contracts. A swap centered around Mo Williams and Bibby might allow the Bucks to try something new while setting the table for a Seattle-like rebuild in 2009. Williams is signed for eternity.

Philadelphia: Andre Miller for Bibby is essentially lateral, except Miller can pass and Bibby can shoot (or rather, Miller can't shoot and Bibby can't pass). Close contracts. Miller'd be a better fit here, and Bibby might be a better fit there, but the gains would be irrelevant in the grander scheme.

I AM INTRIGUED

Dallas: The Mavericks seem to push this window down a bit every day... but if there's one elite team which never seems satisfied, it is Dallas. It'd take a fairly big overhaul to insert Bibby, who is basically Jason Terry with low socks. But I always have trouble discounting Dallas, especially considering how attached they are to Bibby-type players.

L.A. Clippers: Donald Sterling is insane, which makes the Clippers a possible dance partner. Sam Cassell is expiring and could probably be flipped for another expiring and a second-rounder. It'd be tricky; you'd assume making a run today would preclude Corey Maggette from coming back. But it could be done.

Denver: If Nene's back by the deadline (he just had a tumor removed from his testicle; Godspeed), and playing alright, I could see Petrie pulling a trigger. I've seen three different reports over the years mentioning Petrie's adoration for Nene (who is still 25 years old).

Houston: This would be a big, huge deal with multiple players. It makes my head hurt. Houston has a glut of point guards, but Bibby'd be the best. He could make Yao famous.

L.A. Lakers: Derek Fisher has been good, and those two young PGs are just fine. But the Lakers have long loved/feared Bibby, and quite honestly a deal (for Kwame Brown's expiring and one of those young PGs, and maybe a future pick) just makes sense. No Vlad-Rad, please.

New York: I'm giggling just thinking about it. Free Renaldo!

Chicago: The Bulls have players they don't appear to like, but those players have value. No Hinrich, please. Or Nocioni. Or Wallace. Actually, all of Chicago's bigger contracts make me frown. Where's that third team?

Indiana: Jermaine O'Neal's having a bit of a tussle with the Pacers, and they honestly don't need him. They do need a new point guard (sorry, Jamaal). The Kings might be past the point of trading problems for problems, and J.O. makes huge money until 2010. But still. He's one of the top defensive bigs in the league, until this year he was a great rebounder, and he hasn't turned 30 yet. Petrie loves rescuing faded superstars, no?

Atlanta: The Hawks might make the most of sense of all NBA teams with regards to Bibby. They have the expirings and young talent to pull it off, too.

Orlando: Bibby fits the gunner-around-Dwight philosophy and Orlando has the expirings and young talent to pull it off. Jameer Nelson is a bit of a problem, though.

Cleveland: We've been over it two million times. I'll spare you.