Sactown Royalty Midseason Awards

by Tom Ziller on Jan 25, 2008 8:21 AM PST in Meta

The season is 41 games done. By blog law (which is sort-of like shariah law, but different), we are required to assess the first half of 2007-08.

The big award -- First Half MVP -- will be decided by you, the voters. The poll will close Monday afternoon. It's on the right side of the main page. Just know that every time you vote for someone other than Kenny Thomas, a puppy in heaven gets kicked by St. John the Apostle.

For the remaining awards, however, I'll make some executive decisions. Feel free to call me names in the comments section.

BEST DECISION REGARDING HAIR

Previous winner: Etchings by Ron Artest.
2007-08 Runners-up: John Salmons' beard removal, Spencer Hawes' shaved head.

2007-08 First Half Winner: 'Braid' Miller

If you are a big-ass white dude who kills a tin of Copenhagen before every game and you get cornrows, you win Best Decision Regarding Hair. Every time.

BEST DUNK

Previous winner: Ronnie Price over Carlos Boozer
2007-08 Runners-up: Brad Miller on Darko, Mikki Moore on everyone in the league

2007-08 First Half Winner: DAHNTAY. JONES.

I'm sorry, but. Oh my. Good god.

ALLEGED CRIMINAL ACTIVITY OF THE (HALF) YEAR

Previous winner: Eric Musselman's DUI
2007-08 Runner-up: Minority owner Bob Hernreich getting pinched for domestic abuse.

2007-08 First Half Winner: Justin Williams' menage a trois. (Was there ever a question?)

BEST MEDIA MOMENT

Previous winner: Kenny Thomas arguing with Grant Napear on KHTK
2007-08 Runners-up: F.P Santangelo named in the Mitchell Report, Marty McNeal's anonymous busboy sources.

2007-08 First Half Winner: 'Peaches' Napear.

OH BOY!

(Okay, what did I miss?)

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Comments

muff209 Rocks!

muff209 would get my "Angela Tsai Memorial Sideline Reporter Of The Year" award for the "Peaches" Napier scoop. For that, muff209 is awarded a hiking trip up Kayte Christensen, and when he gets to the top he gets to stick a flag in Koz's head.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 8:37 AM PST reply actions

So where can I pick up that prize?

Haha, sweet. And I don't even think I told you guys the best part. If I did it bears repeating. I called into Sportsline the day after the Grizzlies game to talk about the Kings and started off with "Hey Mike and Peaches" and was immediatly hung up on. (Surprise) I got Carmichael Dave to replay the call later that day and Grant's reaction was pretty much "that's that" while Lamb laughed in the background.

Of course if you listened to Carmichael Dave that day you already knew this. But who listens to him on a Friday anyways?

by Muff209 on Jan 25, 2008 11:43 AM PST reply actions

Ahem

Of course if you listened to Carmichael Dave that day you already knew this. But who listens to him ~~on a Friday~~ anyways?

Fixed that for you.

No, I kid. I like CD. He was ~~great~~ ~~good~~ cool filling in for The Men of Rise around the holidays. But a) MMA and b) that unholy time slot for people with jobs is no way to go through life, son.

by Tom Ziller on Jan 25, 2008 11:57 AM PST up reply actions

Peaches

Nicely done, sir. Now if we could only get EVERYONE to call him Peaches, my life would be complete.

by Carl on Jan 25, 2008 3:54 PM PST up reply actions

I stand corrected

Actually, after listening to Dave beg for people to call in for his midseason awards show, your correction very accurate.

How long before they give Kayte Christiansen a show? Or are they afraid she might break into the liquor cabinet and pull a Jacobsen?

Muff rules. http://vegaskings.blogspot.com

by Muff209 on Jan 25, 2008 12:25 PM PST reply actions

Dude

no love for anyoen who starts with Mik for MVP voting.

I went with Beno - we don't win as many games wih Cisco at the point, no matter how sensational Salmons has played. Though, he's been pretty damn sensational. If only Theus and him can work out this whole coming-off-the-bench thing.

by iashwash on Jan 25, 2008 12:33 PM PST reply actions

brad

i voted brad miller for the mvp. he's started the most games for us this year, and he's been pretty consistent. and, for the most part, when he shoots poorly he's still getting on the glass. and just think, where would this team be if we currently had 06-07 brad? look at the difference:

PTS REBS ASS BLKS
06-07 - 9.0 6.4 3.6 0.6
07-08 - 14.1 9.1 3.6 1.0

on top of that, he's getting to the line 2 times more per game, and making two more per game than last year. which means he's hitting them at 8 percentage points higher.

by kingsfaninjapan on Jan 25, 2008 12:53 PM PST reply actions

Me, too

I also went with Brad. I considered Salmons but he has had difficulty when his role changes. The only thing that has been consistent about Garcia is his tremendous heart. Beno has been a nice addition but he too has had his ups and downs. Theus has overachieved to an extent but has made a lot of rookie mistakes.

Braid has been consistent, has been there every night, makes his teammates better, and is arguably the toughest guy to replace on the roster as it is now made up. He is too pricey, for sure. But I think that he has been the best player on this squad when you consider each and every one of the forty one games.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 1:02 PM PST up reply actions

Totally off the ball

K-9 is our MVP. If he was playing, we would have 7 wins if we were lucky.

by Chris The Greek on Jan 25, 2008 12:59 PM PST reply actions

K9(woof!)

MVP? Never.
Best in show? Perhaps.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 1:03 PM PST up reply actions

MVP

Mikki Moore is MVP with no contest. He's the energy of the team. Sure we used to be the ones responsible for firing up the team. But after the Maloofs jacked up the prices and the fair-weather fans left Mikki picked up the ball and said "Sixth Man my ass" and proceeded to provide the energy the team wasn't getting from 10,000 empty seats.

Muff rules. http://vegaskings.blogspot.com

by Muff209 on Jan 25, 2008 1:08 PM PST reply actions

Mikki

There better not be a trophy involved - he'll drop it.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 1:46 PM PST up reply actions

LMFAO

Brilliant, Section. Brilliant....

by Kusian on Jan 25, 2008 2:23 PM PST up reply actions

section214

You are the reason I cannot read StR at work. I break out in giggles when I should be working and my co-workers look at me funny. Then I explain, badly, why I am laughing and they give me the pity smile.

Yeah, it happened again earlier today when I made the mistake of reading your comment at work.

God bless you, Corliss. You always played as though you knew how expensive my tickets were. -section214

by KK on Jan 25, 2008 10:07 PM PST up reply actions

Hmmm -

I may have a new career:

"section214, pity smile comic."

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 26, 2008 7:24 AM PST up reply actions

Mikki Moore

Most Volatile Paws??

Disclaimer: I am anti-Bibby.

by otis29 on Jan 25, 2008 7:47 PM PST up reply actions

I went with Reggie

I could have easily gone with Brad. I really think there should have been "No MVP but a bunch of guys contributed" voting option. There's no real good way to answer a poll like that with one guy.

I am the stone that the builder refused I am the visual, the inspiration That made Lady Sing the Blues..I'm the spark that makes your idea bright...

by pookeyguru on Jan 25, 2008 1:16 PM PST reply actions

EMERGENCY!

Who has the answer to the question no one's been asking...whatever happened to the aforementioned Angela Tsai? I still see her behind the bench at Kings games but otherwise...

by rbiegler on Jan 25, 2008 2:23 PM PST reply actions

Towel Girl.

StR- Where Pookey is long, Otis is short and Section brings down the house.

by jjham15 @ Sactown Royalty on Jan 25, 2008 2:33 PM PST up reply actions

Studio

She's done some taped segments for the pre-game show.

I think she's behind Peaches and Jerry in case something important happens, like Kevin Martin going to the lockerroom with a jammed finger. Haven't seen her in action on that tip, though.

Fun fact: Koz, Katye and Hank (and a blonde sometimes) sit across from the Kings bench, about four rows back in that weird corner row. Koz's head is on a magnificent swivel when the high-rollin' ladies down at courtside leave for and return from the powder room. He's a bigger mack than Francisco, I swear.

by Tom Ziller on Jan 25, 2008 2:36 PM PST up reply actions

Koz

His political leanings aside Kozimor is kind of a bad ass. He lives, or at least lived, in East Sac, and I would see him at the 2-Me-Bonn Lair-Raven strip pretty frequently, where I would buy him shots of Jagermeister which he would graetfully drinking. I realize if being a bad ass constitutes drinking shots of Jagermeister then the entire population of Stingers is...bad ass...but I'm pretty sure anymore if someone approached me drunk in a bar in the fashion I approached him I wouldn't graciously be drinking and talking with them.

There was really no purpose to this post, apologies.

by rbiegler on Jan 25, 2008 2:58 PM PST up reply actions

oh yeah

That was supposed to be drink, not drinking, apologies.

by rbiegler on Jan 25, 2008 2:58 PM PST up reply actions

TZ

You're one letter away from being the TMZ of Kings basketball blogging. More posts (and videos) will keep the casual fans and laydees coming.

Keep it up! So much gossip fuel in a throw-away comment! Koz and Cisco are the mack daddies of this team? Whodathunkit?

Yowzer. Funny stuff.

God bless you, Corliss. You always played as though you knew how expensive my tickets were. -section214

by KK on Jan 25, 2008 10:17 PM PST up reply actions

Pretty as a picture

and better seen than heard.

God bless you, Corliss. You always played as though you knew how expensive my tickets were. -section214

by KK on Jan 25, 2008 10:09 PM PST up reply actions

Angela Tsai

The Kings probably realized something every sports fan already knows. Sideline reporters are useless.

Muff rules. http://vegaskings.blogspot.com

by Muff209 on Jan 25, 2008 2:32 PM PST reply actions

MVP?

Does that stand for Most Valuable Person? i know he used to play, but I swore Theus was only a coach this year. So I would definitely give him the award for MVC (Coach). Or maybe he received votes because he's the Most Valuable Playa.

by kingsfaninjapan on Jan 25, 2008 2:50 PM PST reply actions

Ehhhh....

I'm gonna go with K-Mart. Why you ask? Is it because he missed so much time with injuries? No I say. Is it because he was drafted as a Doug Christie clone, only he doesn't play a lick of defense? No I say. Is it because he signed a very very reasonable contract over the summer? No I say.

It's because, when Ron Artest is using the fact that someone likes you as the reason he shouldnt be traded. That someone has got to be important....

Oh and he can BALL.

But Salmons was more valuable this season.

True, but Salmons also whined about playing time the first time he and Artest were healthy at the same time.

I love being a Kings fan, we have so much weird shit going on.

From Justin Williams having the strangest semi-celeb rape case I've ever seen, to finding that Mike Bibby and Ron Artest (the area's biggest sports celebs) can't get into certain clubs. And this is SACRAMENTO we're talking about.

Simple, Easy, No Brainer Deals....http://www.nobrainerdeals.com

by thashizzz on Jan 25, 2008 3:07 PM PST reply actions

the line

i think they could've gotten in the club if they had just waited in line like tz, section214, pookeyguru, kfan, thashizz, rhonda, coolcat, otis, 27freethrows, the kingmes and the rest of the royalty would have if we tried to go. i guess you could say there's no royal treatment outside of sac.

by kingsfaninjapan on Jan 25, 2008 3:22 PM PST up reply actions

Hey -

I was already inside. Working. I pick up a little extra change every now and then as an exotic night club dancer. Perhaps you've seen me. I go by the name of "Java Safari." Please don't tell Mrs. section214.

What? It's Friday afternoon! Am I the only one drinking already?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 3:43 PM PST up reply actions

Java Safari?

that sounds like a screen name for some hardcore mac user. do you have a mac, section214?

by kingsfaninjapan on Jan 25, 2008 3:52 PM PST up reply actions

No

The name was given to me by my Fijian mistress during the Civil War. I remember it was a hot and steamy night...I'm just going to stop now - I think it would be best for everyone.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Jan 25, 2008 5:42 PM PST up reply actions

Fijian?

This caused my second giggle burst of the work day and forced me to close my browser window.

Damn you, you funny man!

God bless you, Corliss. You always played as though you knew how expensive my tickets were. -section214

by KK on Jan 25, 2008 10:19 PM PST up reply actions

Brad

He's kept the team glued together. I doubt if some of Salmon's heroics would have even occurred if Brad hadn't been minding the fort.

That said, if Brad Miller, or John Salmons for that matter, is your MVP, you don't realy have much of a team to brag about.

Somebody else better start laying claim to second half MVP real quick if we want to have a reason to play for. "Getting better" for the future isn't what I have in mind, either.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Jan 25, 2008 3:13 PM PST reply actions