23-59

The identities have been digitally obscured at the request of the players, their loved ones and their legal counsel.

Nineteen years ago, the 1989-90 Sacramento Kings fashioned a team that went 23 up and 59 down. This was the team that extracted 34 games out of rookie Pervis Ellison, this is the team that replaced Jerry Reynolds with Dick Motta half way through the season, this was the team that tried to pick up the pieces after trading the face of the franchise during the prior season. Harold Pressley was the team's 6th man. Greg Kite(!) was the team's 7th man.

32 of the squad's 59 losses were by more than 10 points. Of those, 7 were by more than 20. Of those, two were by more than 30.  The team dropped 10 straight in December and 13 of their last 14 at the end of the season.

23-59. The worst team in Sacramento Kings history. Until perhaps now, and we may just be seeing history in the making.

Today, the 2008-09 Sacramento Kings are on a pace to finish 20-62 (or 21-61 if you are an optimist). They are on a pace to lose 34 games by 10 or more points, with 17 of those being 20+ lossses and 7 of them being 30+ point losses.

The depths (not depth) of this current team did not really strike me until I sat through every minute of the 85-118 loss to Denver (at home!!!). This may very well be the worst team that we will ever see wearing Sacramento Kings uniforms. It is a combination of raw youth and aged former talent of varying degrees. The talents don't seem to mesh well but for brief passages here and there. The team can't stay healthy, they can't stay on point, they can't stay on task, they can't stay out of last place in the Pacific (Hey, what has 24 legs and lives in the cellar? Your 2008-09 Sacramento Kings!).

Now, I'm not saying that we're in for another decade of famine before the ship gets righted. The 89-90 club was more old than young, and the front office was rudderless. That does not change the fact that you will probably be able to one day tell your grandkids that you not only witnessed the worst team in Sacramento Kings history, you followed the team religiously and even posted about them frequently on a blog (your grandchild won't understand what you're talking about until he gets to junior high and reads about blogs in his history class).

So how do we proceed? How do we get through the next four and a half months without killing ourselves or each other? How do we survive 58 more games, not knowing whether we're going to get the rare gem (@ New Orleans, home vs. the Lakers) or the Oliver Miller-sized kidney stone (@ Philly, home vs. Denver)?

Here are a few starter ideas -

• Drinking Games  Quite some time ago I shared the genesis of the Joe Kleine drinking game. Well, it's time to drink to a new generation. How about tipping one back every time Brad gives the bitter beer face? Or a shot every time Quincy Douby front rims a jumper (recommended for 4th quarters)? Or if you really want to get sh*t faced, your choice of taking a drink every time we turn it over or every time they hit a 3 pointer.
• Supplement By Watching College Basketball  Get to know the college crop, as a couple of them will be holding up Kings uni's come next summer. Drool over Blake Griffin, Ricky Rubio, Brandon Jennings. Spend hours pouring over stats. Revel in their prime time heroics at the NCAA tourney. Breathlessly await their official measurements from the pre-draft camp. Join me in tracking and creating tasty but useless mock drafts. Then watch as we get screwed at the ping pong ball draw. Rail when Kevin Pritchard (seemingly) hoses us again. And go nuts when Geoff Petrie drafts a player that was not even on our board.
• Don't Trust Anyone Over 27  Cisco turns 27 in December. If you're older then him, you're not part of our future and we don't want to see you. Sorry, John Salmons, it's nothing personal. Brad, Mikki, B-Jax, you might have had an hourglass figure, but your time is up. Pick up your AARP card, take your discount at Denny's and hurry home - Matlock comes on at 4 PM.
• Wear The Team Colors With Pride  No one can accuse you of being a bandwagon fan now. And take it to the next level. No Webber or Divac jersey for you. Sport a Hawes, a Thompson, a Donté. But a Kenny Thomas jersey is taking it a little too far - even he doesn't wear one.
• Try To Quit This Team - Go Ahead - Try  The Kings are crack and this place is the pipe. The next time the Kings get blown out (you won't have to wait too long, I promise), make a pact with yourself to not post on or visit StR. You're sweating just thinking about it, aren't you? This damn team gets in your blood, in a way that the average fan just can't understand. You're a sick, twisted puppy, and you belong right here, with the rest of the sick twisted puppies.
• Fight The Power  I mentioned this in a thread. The Lakers and Celtics are superior, but their fans are not. The same Celtics fans that rub it in your face today wanted Danny Ainge fired two years ago. They thought that Paul Pierce was a chucker that couldn't close out a game. And they wanted anybody, anybody to come in and run the team instead of Rajon Rondo. And Lakers fans? Arrive late, leave early Lakers fans? They can't handle traffic. How do you think they would handle a 41 game road losing streak? Lightweights! Give me a Clips fan any day.
• Write A Creative Yet Ludicrous Fanpost  Writé an articlé on Donté Grééné and alt0233 évéry "é." Whééé!!! Or maybe a three way trade involving LeBron James, Brad Miller and Tim Lincecum (we get James, though we might have to throw in a 2nd round pick).

Trust me. We're going to need stuff like this if we are going to get through the season. I've been there. I know.

JOOOOOE!!!