What's with Clarivel?

Yeah yeah, a lame start to things but its been bugging the shit out of me and Mrs. Lawless the entire season.  Mrs. Lawless goes BATSHIT when she sees the "Dance Team Member" who never is involved with the team past trotting her chickeny legs back and forth when they do that clap-over-their-head thing they do during the opening.

Even then she doesn't seem to fall into place.  You'll see her eye-check the ladies on either side of her.

She
is
lost

and yet they continue to bill her as one of the Dance Team.  Why couldn't they just have hired her as the latina Ira?

Also, holy crap -- up to the point that Warriors Fan got really drunk and rowdy in the fourth I was thinking they were nicer than Laker Fan.  WRONG.  As much as I wanted to shank the incessant Kobe starfuckers chanting around me, I was never more happy to see security show up (late) to slap a few guys around when Oakland was in town.  Up against the wall behind 220 in cuffs is a good look for Warrior Fan.  He could have used a more few friends for the van ride downtown...

[Word to the wise -- if you're heading past Mrs. Lawless and I across our row, be polite and hands off.  Some species have warning coloration, I wear the hockey standard.]

Update [2008-4-2 13:18:1 by ogre lawless]:

{Well, shit, comments are done with but this thing lingers on the front page. I figured there were at least a few hyperattentive arena attendees like myself, so let me provide a lexicon since that doesn't appear to be the case:

Ira Smith is the Kings -other- public address announcer. His job entails hyping the night's silent auction and running down the inactive roster, refs and halftime out-of-town box scores. His job is kind of redundant but he's got a great voice.

Clarivel is billed as a Kings Dance Team member though has yet to appear in a single routine. Her main selling points seem to be her ability to repeat short phrases in Spanish when on camera, grabbing camera time, and pretending to be part of a squad with which she otherwise has no involvement.

Warrior Fan/Lakers Fan are not individuals so much as interchangeable archetypes. Both are wrong-team fans who show up at our beloved arena and are typically obnoxious and abusive. Lakers Fan can be distinguished by Kobe gear, a love for Vail Colorado. }

Update [2008-4-2 13:25:24 by ogre lawless]:

aaaand, it seems that updating ate y'alls comments, so this will make even LESS sense in the future, but used'ta'be that there were a lot of folks goin' "Ira who?", etc.