A Kings Fans' Constitution

by Exhibit G on Aug 23, 2008 12:48 PM PDT Comment 31 comments

The Kings Fans' Constitution. twasserm inadvertently inspired it by breaking an unspoken rule. AnotherStupidSN offered the idea. Section wrote the preamble. If you need to get caught up, it's all in the conversations surrounding the "When do we bury the hatchet?" post. Well, it's time for us to take it to the next level. This need to be a post in and of itself. Everyone can contribute, everyone can critique, everyone can get in a heated arguments that end in silly name-calling.

Thanks again to Section for writing the preamble. Here's what he created.

We the people, in order to form a more perfect transition game, establish justice, insure home court advantage, provide an atmosphere for more than just common defense, promote the general feeling that youth is to be served and leadership is to be valued, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our team’s posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for Sacramento Kings fans throughout the world.

OK, who’s got the legislative branch?

Remember, we don't have to get everything perfect on the first try. The US Constituion has been amended 27 times. Some amendments were bad (18th Amendment), some were wonderful (21st Amendment). Somehow I suspect that the 21st Amendment may end up helping this project along.

I think the Executive Branch should be pretty easy: The executive power shall be vested in Geoff Petrie. In Petrie We Trust.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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should it be

“establish a post game” instead of “establish justice”?

by GOKINGS on Aug 23, 2008 1:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

We had a post game in 2002 and no justice

So I ask, which is more important?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 23, 2008 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Plus,

You could add a post game to the (Lorenzen) Bill of Wright’s. It would be a vital amendment, providing that we have someone to get the ball to.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 23, 2008 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The Legislative Branch

Should go to the Maloofs. They’re the ones that control fiscal spending for the Kings, after all. Plus, They’re constantly butting heads with Petrie.

by CloudyEyes on Aug 23, 2008 1:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Checks and Balances, eh?

See, there was a real world application for that high school civics class!

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 23, 2008 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The judicial branch

Has to be Reggie Theus for hitting players with fines for lashing out against him.

BOOK IT!

by kingme18 on Aug 23, 2008 1:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Then there will have to be a constitutional provision

for contempt on court.

Let's go home.-Kevin Martin

by LeaguePassAddict on Aug 23, 2008 7:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Kevin Martin for VP

I want this guy firing shots like Dick Cheney after he’s had nine beers at the petting zoo.

So, that’s the Executive, I guess, unless VP remains the elusive new Fourth Branch of government.

Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.

by andy sims on Aug 23, 2008 4:00 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I have to disagree with your choice for VP

Slamson always is and shall forever remain the VP, until Petrie decides to replace him!

by CloudyEyes on Aug 23, 2008 6:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Do they serve beer at the petting zoo?

Let's go home.-Kevin Martin

by LeaguePassAddict on Aug 23, 2008 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Only rebuttal I need against your argument andy sims

is that the current government is a shining example of such an effective cash & carry system.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. It's simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get tangled, you tango on

by pookeyguru on Aug 25, 2008 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You guys need to hurry and set this up

so we can officially declare war on the Lakers.

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Aug 23, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Who's the commander in chief?

Let's go home.-Kevin Martin

by LeaguePassAddict on Aug 23, 2008 8:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I have no idea

but Doug Christie is my Secretary of Defense!

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Aug 23, 2008 8:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Hmm

And yet, somehow, Jackie Christie made herself the first lady…

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 24, 2008 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Another ammendment...or 2

We as Kings fans shall enjoy the pleasure of watching the Kings Dance Team every half-time, during a home game.
——————
Kings fans have the responsibility to bring cow-bells to every crucial game.

by CloudyEyes on Aug 23, 2008 6:10 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

what about between quarters?

post-game celebrations? player intros? tv timeouts!?!

Nay, good sir, I reject your amendment.

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Aug 23, 2008 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ok

All of the above shall be mandatory!

by CloudyEyes on Aug 23, 2008 7:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

But...

they need to stop them from running up into the aisles, because that’s when you realize most of them are like 5’3 and need to ask for paper at checkout.

by cabz on Aug 24, 2008 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Freedom of Expression

It shall be the right of each and every Kings fan to choose to root in their own way. This right is inalienable and shall apply to every Kings fan, regardless of race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, seat location, home address, income, or ability to apply circular reasoning.

It is also the right of each and every Kings fan to find the rooting actions of other Kings fans as obnoxious. Such displays would include (but are not restricted to) the wave, clapping out of sync to “Rock & Roll Part 2,” Sign Man’s helmet hair, and circular reasoning.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 23, 2008 6:42 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs

+1!

by CloudyEyes on Aug 23, 2008 7:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Can we put term limits

on the helmet hair and the circular reasoning?

Let's go home.-Kevin Martin

by LeaguePassAddict on Aug 23, 2008 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Do you really think either CC or Signman would abide by these term limits?

Let’s face it, the term limit for helmet head ended in 1978.

Hot dogs, get your hot dogs.

by jjham15 on Aug 24, 2008 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

What really defines the Kings fans ?

I’m a loyal Kings fan from Athens, Greece who has never been in Sacramento :( The team has a lot of fans in Greece since the Peja days. I wear my Kings wristbands for years when I play basketball and I’ve been searching hard to find a Cisco jersey to order in Europe (though I don’t think I will).

I hated the Lakers back in the Shaq days, I really couldn’t sleep that damn night of the 7th game even though I “watched” the whole game in text at nba.com. You probably can’t imagine how it is to cheer and jump when you see the page updated and read “Mike Bibby makes a shot from 18-feet”. I don’t believe it myself sometimes now that I watch all games in streaming video.

I can’t say I hate LA that much anymore, but if the Kings Fans’ Constitution says so.. I am ready to obey it 100%.

Regarding the Constitution, I think first of all we have to state what defines us as Kings fans and that cannot be based on our rival. It should be something about our team. Yes the rivalry is a huge part of being a King but our cheering for the team should not be revolving around the Lakers. So let’s just go ahead and say what are the special characteristics of the Kings which make us stand out…

by ZenBaller on Aug 23, 2008 8:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Lakers

I’d say you’re in, no question. I don’t think we ever intended Kings fandom to be defined strictly by hating the Lakers. It is defined by love for the team. I think that hating the Lakers is just a necessary aspect.

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 23, 2008 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The Lakers

They’re a lot like the British, as a lot of us were under their “rule” before the Kings came to Sacramento. Kareem, Magic, Worthy, Rambis, Scott, Cooper…come on, you had to like that team (unless you were a Celtics fan). But Pat Riley was a tyrannical ruler, and it hastened our need to secede.

Now, who wants to head down to LA and throw some tea into the harbor?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 23, 2008 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Last I checked Boston

was in the US. So I think trowing tea off the K-street bridge would do the trick.

So if we declared our independence from the Lakers when the Kings moved to town, who does that make Lukenbill? Adams, Jefferson, Paine?

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Aug 23, 2008 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You need help LOL

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. It's simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get tangled, you tango on

by pookeyguru on Aug 25, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Also similar to the British...

The Lakers have poor dental hygiene. Probably untrue, but I’m saying it anyway.

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 24, 2008 1:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A worthy task indeed

Thanks Exhibit for starting this; I thought it was worthy of it’s own thread but I was too lazy/busy to get it going on my own.

I agree with ZenBaller that an attempt to define what truly makes Kings Fans unique would be a precious and commendable thing. I’ve lived in Sacramento all my life and been a Kings Fan as long as I can remember, and I honestly believe there is something special about this franchise and it’s fans. Some of my brief thoughts, proposed to be included in some form in the Kings Fan Constitution:

If the last man on the bench gets 4 minutes of garbage time and plays his balls off, he gets a standing ovation at the end of the game. If he does this consistently, his name will be shouted throughout the arena (as soon as everyone learns it), imploring the coach to give him some burn.

If a player leaves it all on the floor every night and he contributes greatly to the team’s success, he will get a standing ovation when he enters the game. Even if he now plays for a different team. Even if he hasn’t played for the Kings for several years.

A player’s attitude off the court is just as important as his play on the court.
-If the best player on the team disrespects the fans in any way, he will be run out of town. See Artest, Ron.
-Any number of sins on the court will be forgiven if the player is a saint off the court. See Divac, Vlade.

Hopefully this thread will stay relevant for a while so that I and others can continue to add our thoughts so that we can reach some sort of collective conceptualization of the awesomeness of the Kings Fan.

by AnotherStupidSN on Aug 28, 2008 10:15 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Great additions

Good stuff. I doubt this thread stays relevant much longer. It’s a fun thing for slow news days, but not much else. But I think the additions you made are things that would receive a standing ovation when proposed.

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 30, 2008 6:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs