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Oh, the Ways You Suck

This is one of the times when running a blog really pays off: when I can ask my readers to do my homework for me.

Some bright-eyed chaps will soon seek to determine the worst player in the league, based on fan opinion. I think you can all guess who will Sacramento's nominee. I have to offer a paragraph as to said player's suckitude: why? how? how much? is there any chance for redemption?

So, in the comments, please elucidate why you think our nominee, Kenneth Cornelius Thomas, is the worst player in the league. We might congeal a few responses into our entry or pick one outright. Give it your best, which is the opposite of what K-9 (woof!) would do.

1 recs  |  Comment 20 comments

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I honestly don't know

How or why Kenny became the player he is, boggles the mind. Kenny began his stint with us as a reliable power forward averaging 15 and 9 which is very respectable and was perhaps our 4th most reliable player behind Mike, Peja and Cuttino, hitting 15-18 footers off the pick and roll with Mike and then out-muscling bigger guys for rebounds. Kenny did OK the next year with a 10 and 7.

Then all of the sudden, he lost it all with Musselman, starting only because Shareef stunk as well. I got so ugly during the San Antonio game (2nd game of the season) where he just completely blows a wide open layup with no one like 5 feet away. He stopped boarding and even when he didn’t get minutes, he became a turnover machine.

We should nominate Shareef as well.

BOOK IT!

by kingme18 on Aug 26, 2008 7:34 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Hmm...

I would love nothing more than to write on and on about how much the man blows. I could talk about his amazing pouting skills. I could tell you about missed open lay ups and bad catches. I could tell you how he was paid almost $8 mil last year to watch games from the best seat in the house. But I won’t, simply because I’ve been inspired by the man. Why should I try unless TZ guarantees that my paragraph starts his column on K9’s sucktitude? Why would I want to do that when I can just sit here, cry like a baby, and let a too old former D-Leaguer do my job for me?

Kevin Martin, line 1 holding for you. Your destiny is calling. - Section214

by vfettke on Aug 26, 2008 7:37 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Let me recap in K9's(woof's!) own words

Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!

Translation: I’m really not a very good shooter. I rebound well for my size, but I am undersized for my position. I can defend well now and then, but on the few occasions where I have logged serious minutes my opponent has beaten me like a drum. I bring nothing to the team emotionally, and as the third highest player on the Kings this year, I will make more money than Spencer Hawes, Francisco Garcia, Quincy Douby, Jason Thompson and Donte’ Greene…combined! Put another way, I make roughly the same amount as David West and I play the same position (comparison ends here). My bloated contract, combined with my immense lack of contributing anything to my team is the biggest single reason that the Kings will be battling for the 11th spot in the west.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 26, 2008 7:46 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Thanks TZ

Man oh man Ive been waiting for this…

The reason Kenny sucks so bad is we all know the talent can be there. For 6’7" guy to get ten boards a game is no easy feat. But he’s got it in his head he cant do that unless he starts. So he fights teammates, fights coaches, and fights local radio personalities that call him out. He’s like the ugly girl at the party who just realized she’s ugly. He’s just being rebellion(thanks Pacman!) to his ineptitude.

Plus a couple of friends of mine hooked up with girls who had enjoyed Kenny’s more personal touch. They said he couldn’t score there either.

by Chris The Greek on Aug 26, 2008 8:52 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Easiest. Chicks. Ever.

I can imagine how that went down. “I just skanked around with Kenny Thomas… so you’ll do”

Kevin Martin, line 1 holding for you. Your destiny is calling. - Section214

by vfettke on Aug 26, 2008 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Don't forget

The guy has a LOT of money to throw around.

Let's go home.-Kevin Martin

by LeaguePassAddict on Aug 26, 2008 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How does Thomas suck? Let me count the ways...

Why does he suck? Kenny Thomas decided that he no longer needs to earn his contract. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, some ment are born into mediocrity (which wasn’t Thomas’ problem, shown by his numbers from 3 or 4 years ago), some men have mediocrity thrust upon them (through injuries, bad coaches, etc), and some men choose mediocrity. Kenny Thomas is a rare breed, though. He decided that mediocrity wasn’t enough, so he decided to be a black hole of suckitude, so dense that no talent can ever escape.

How does he suck? Missed lay-ups, terrible attitude, no effort, unwilling to fight for rebounds, a complete lack of contribution.

Any chance at redemption? Only in the form of his expiring contract. The only silver lining in the entire saga is that We aren’t locked into him for another 5 years or something.

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Aug 26, 2008 9:00 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I dont like..

For some reason it bugs me when he walks. He kind of walks on his tip-toes. Is that reason enough, or do I need more?

by spragueito on Aug 26, 2008 11:23 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

He isn't...

Kenny Thomas isn’t the worst player in the league. Sorry. He has an albatross contract and is absolutely untradeable because of it, but as much as we like to pile on, K9 isn’t the worst player in the NBA.

by Carl on Aug 26, 2008 12:08 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Perhaps -

But we need a nominee. If not K9(woof!), then who? Bring back Rich Kelley?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 26, 2008 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Candidates

Jerome James
Antoine Walker – on the theory that he hurts you more than he helps you.
Brian Scalabrine (WINNER!)

by Carl on Aug 26, 2008 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Scalabrine's a fan favorite

He’s a walking talking version of the C’s logo

Kevin Martin, line 1 holding for you. Your destiny is calling. - Section214

by vfettke on Aug 26, 2008 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think the idea is

for us to nominate a player from our team. Then each team does the same and the worst player in the league will be chosen from this list.

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Aug 26, 2008 6:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Is it too late to nominate PE2?

If averaging 6 points and 4 rebounds as a 24 year old college senior isn’t impressive enough, this basketball god averaged less than one point a game IN SUMMER LEAGUE. If he was still with us, the case would be closed. But he is DEFINATELY the worst player in the nba.

by Travis Mays Hayes on Aug 26, 2008 6:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

P-Ew

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 26, 2008 6:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm not doing it

Kenny’s not the worst player in the league. I doubt he’s even the worst player on the team. He has a contract that’s a pain in the arse, and he’s undersized for what he actually is, a power forward. I think if you play him 30 minutes a night, you’d get good stats out of him.

I am not, however, suggesting that this is what should happen.

He’s not a locker room cancer, and he’s making the best of the situation. Yeah, he gets paid a lot, but you know these guys would rather play and contribute at half the price than rust on the bench. If he can be unloaded, you do it. But the guy is no stiff.

Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.

by andy sims on Aug 26, 2008 9:54 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Woof!

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Aug 26, 2008 10:18 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Kenny Thomas Haiku

Angry poodle face,
No boards, no points, no P.T.,
Big money fans hate.

by BrooklynFan on Aug 27, 2008 6:06 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Mwhahahahaha....

I’m in stiches from laughter.

It's never just a game when you're winning. - George Carlin

by DennardC on Aug 29, 2008 10:20 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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