Haikus are Easy

by Aykis16 on Oct 23, 2009 6:12 AM PDT Comment 71 comments

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

After the jump, Haikus for each of our Kings! (For those who don't know, Haikus are 3 sentence poems. The first and last of which have 5 syllables, with the middle sentence having 7.)

Kevin Martin

How weird your shot is.

And yet the ball still goes in.

How remarkable.

Tyreke Evans

They say you can't shoot.

They say you can't play Point Guard.

They shall be in awe.

Spencer Hawes

A Center must bang.

But you refuse to comply.

You are still Hawesome.

Jason Thompson

You've shocked the world once.

You should do it again please.

Unleash yourself man.

Omri Casspi

Omri, we love you.

We don't yet really care why.

But we think you'll do.

Sean May

You used to be fat.

But then you joined Weight Watchers.

Now you are just Phat.

Beno Udrih

Why do you do this?

You are too inconsistent.

Please perform better.

Desmond Mason

Why did we sign you?

Oh ya, you defend alright.

I guess you can stay.

Donte Greene

Work on your game please.

Then maybe we'll let you shoot.

Until then, D-League.

Andres Nocioni

Why are you so mad?

Who is it that pissed you off?

Please do not hurt me.

Sergio Rodriguez

You pass the ball well.

But you can't shoot it at all.

Stick to the passing.

Francisco Garcia

Oh poor Francisco.

I hope your arm gets better.

We will miss you tons.

Jon Brockman

Pancakes will fear you.

But not as much as Sean May.

He still likes to eat.

Alright your guys turn, hope you enjoyed these.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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Comments

man..

Your Haikus suck

You are stuck in a rut

You just don’t make the cut

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 6:37 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Good B-Ball advice though

I hope they read it

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 6:38 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You shouldn’t talk man.
You’re not doing it correct.
5-7-5, dude.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Oct 23, 2009 6:51 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

I gave up on it, but just thought I would show how bad I am at it.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 8:48 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"...I would show how bad I am at it."

You are a success
You have shown your suck-i-tude
at writing Haiku

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Oct 23, 2009 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

strangely enough

that sentence would qualify

by VenomySnicket on Oct 25, 2009 11:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Holy Crap you're right

It’s either the cleverest comment ever, or a really funny coincidence.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Oct 26, 2009 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Damn

It is really bad when your subconscious kicks your conscious brain’s ass.

by MustangMBS on Oct 28, 2009 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Actually

I laughed my ass off at the Nocioni one.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 8:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

OK.. They weren't that bad

Martin has speed

Evan fills the need

Omri is the key

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 6:44 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Haiku doesn’t rhyme, either.

The draft lottery has reinforced my belief that there are not enough bad words in the English language.

by LeaguePassAddict on Oct 23, 2009 7:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I know I suck at it.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 8:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

OK had some coffee now

Sorry, didn’t mean to be so negative. Here is another bad one.

Fell from royal grace
Through paid off refs on the take
Faker champs emerged

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 8:58 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

WERD.

33 Wins. Yeah, I said it.

by JETisKing on Oct 31, 2009 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

tossed one off

Martin is the man
Reke shows we have a new plan
Just one more big man!

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 10:26 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

used man twice - bad form

Omri is a steal
Tyreke shows all he’s for real
Our dog we will deal

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 10:32 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I could do this all day

Now deep at the one
oh one more big would be plum
a season of fun

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 10:40 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

your haiku stylings remind me of Fezzik

Aykis sixteen thinks
Fesenko is a hoops Fezzik
inconceivable!

my name is NOT Krylyo!

by betweentheeyes on Oct 23, 2009 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Kev’s ankles, Cisco’s wrists,
Spencer’s knees and Noce’s wits,
Starters sit, Greene plays.

Victory is tasty.

by iashwash on Oct 23, 2009 10:41 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

dangit

Victory is tasty.

by iashwash on Oct 23, 2009 10:42 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is stupid

And getting sad. Stop commenting. For the sake of Sacramento and the kings, please stop.

Don't hate, I'm a realist!

by Sammyp831 on Oct 23, 2009 10:44 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Once more, THEY AREN"T SUPPOSED TO RHYME.

n., pl., haiku, also -kus.

1. A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

2. A poem written in this form.

The draft lottery has reinforced my belief that there are not enough bad words in the English language.

by LeaguePassAddict on Oct 23, 2009 10:51 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

One more thing

Poetry is about imagery and emotion. The things you guys are writing are more suited to limerick.

So, yeah, I’m with Sammy. Stop now before you hurt someone.

The draft lottery has reinforced my belief that there are not enough bad words in the English language.

by LeaguePassAddict on Oct 23, 2009 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

mine wasn't even a haiku

so there.

Victory is tasty.

by iashwash on Oct 23, 2009 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't write haiku's

So I don’t have the slightest clue of what you speak of lady.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That didn't stop me

Completely clueless and willing to go out on that limb…

I just should not have taken the saw with me though. I just could not resist the urge to saw…

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 11:45 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

no rule about rhyming but

I know its not pure
from my sad useless degree
fun and sunshine play

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm aware rhyming is bad form

this is a sports blog
lighten up

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

They just can't keep up

Don’t worry. They may just be like me, grumpy and irritable without coffee.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I never drink coffee

So you’ll have to blame my crankiness on something else.

Like the fact that I actually like poetry and what you guys are writing is like fingernails on a blackboard.

(And you thought I just got cranky about punctuation and stuff) ;-p

The draft lottery has reinforced my belief that there are not enough bad words in the English language.

by LeaguePassAddict on Oct 23, 2009 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would never suggest you were cranky

That would be undignified and ungentlemen like.

Your responses always suggest a deeply mannerous regard of just how low the unrefined remarks of us impertinate twits display an ongoing disorganization of disparite facts we conjure up to ill-advisedly support erroneous and unkempt opinions we cannot otherwise hold true.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

What he said

The future begins now...

by eduardo_m7 on Oct 23, 2009 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I dunno

by betweentheeyes on Oct 23, 2009 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You have messed it up

The word is spelled “disparate”
Watch LPA steam.

by silverace99 on Oct 27, 2009 1:28 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

fine

a crown without teeth
from smoke and empty seat echos
sparks smoulder and bite!

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 11:08 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I do need spell check though

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Welcome to the lttg comment thread.........

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

People should relax

Autumn snow, Season start
Fesenko is terrible
Aykis makes fun threads

Professional Hyperbole Slayer

by ForThree on Oct 23, 2009 12:06 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

Shoes squeak on wood floor.
Crowd clad in purple, black.
Pre-game excitement.

The draft lottery has reinforced my belief that there are not enough bad words in the English language.

by LeaguePassAddict on Oct 23, 2009 12:59 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I admit to Haiku tone deafness

I grew up on Dr. Seuss and that has ruined my appreciate of poetry.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Or heightened it.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well

everything has to rhyme or I don’t get. Giving me a Haiku is like giving me a Chevrolet. It all seems like a backwards Ford.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

What's a Chevrolet?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well..

There are just so many ways to describe…

Suffice it to say that it is an inferior breed of americana that lacks originality and creativity.

It is a rhyming Haiku, a flat basketball, replacement refs, or anything else that is an incomplete portrayal of an otherwise remarkable thing.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

my legit one was better

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Oct 23, 2009 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

There once was a team from Sactown

That played in a way that made us all frown.
Then Casspi and ‘Reke
made us all start to freak –
Now we’re all worried that one day they’ll leave town.

Haiku? It’s all about the limerick, biatches!

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Oct 23, 2009 1:14 PM PDT reply actions 7 recs

bow

as per usual
when fun is involved
Section wins it all

Professional Hyperbole Slayer

by ForThree on Oct 23, 2009 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

Limerick has important meter;

And the rhyme is important. ‘Sactown’ has emphasizes the ‘Sac’, so something like ‘back down’ would be much more fitting.

There once was a team from ol’ Sactown-
Climbed up to the top then fell back down.
They ranked last in the polls
so the site filled with trolls
who received and deserved Section’s smackdown.

m*****f***ing c***s***ing peanut butter and jelly!! f*** f*** f***!!!

by JediLeroy on Oct 24, 2009 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Oh COOL!

A rhyming DUEL
Section 214 of such illustrious fame.
Will take on all challengers and rule the day.
His recs will beat you into a pulp and put you away.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 1:40 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

I like it

You’re up to the limerick.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks

Limericks I got in spades.

The Haiku is my bane when it comes to poetic refrain. It is a discordant bit of text to which I bring only pain. Especially to those of poetic prowess like LPA and others more versed in this terse bit that I find such a curse.

by MustangMBS on Oct 23, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

what light through yonder window breaks...

He played and was honored
His decisions awarded
Will the end be good? ….ode to Geoff Petrie

There once was a fellow with speeches
who maligned those in audible reaches
I will yell what I say!
Bluster rules the day!
And for crying out loud don’t call me Peaches

FanHouse, StR
He’s even here when away
you are everywhere …. ode to Tom Ziller

by betweentheeyes on Oct 23, 2009 2:17 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

rhymin' (simple) Simon

the Horry story made me sorry

Brock a lock to jock clock on a block knock

Maloof roof not fool proof

by betweentheeyes on Oct 23, 2009 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Just take a seat
get paid millions of dollars
Kenny Thomas (Woof!)

Disclaimer: comments may have been made under the influence of alcohol. If the Kings start winning, this will probably change.

by Ball in Cup on Oct 23, 2009 3:12 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

revised

You just take a seat
get paid millions of dollars
Kenny Thomas (Woof!)

Disclaimer: comments may have been made under the influence of alcohol. If the Kings start winning, this will probably change.

by Ball in Cup on Oct 23, 2009 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

revision # 2

Just take a seat and
get paid millions of dollars
Kenny Thomas (Woof!)

Disclaimer: comments may have been made under the influence of alcohol. If the Kings start winning, this will probably change.

by Ball in Cup on Oct 23, 2009 3:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I knew i should'nt have waisted my time reading this.

Miguel Cotto will defeat Pacquiao on November 14, 2009! For PUERTO RICO baby..

by slamson on Oct 23, 2009 3:22 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

You should have gone to school instead.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Oct 23, 2009 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

LOL @ that

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know Aykis

It’s not like school teaches you to think…..

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Helps you to spell correctly at least

Well, hopefully.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Oct 23, 2009 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Tru tru

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sorry if i hurt your feelings Aykis

but if i need to go to school i think you need to get a job! Word today is job J-O-B.

Miguel Cotto will defeat Pacquiao on November 14, 2009! For PUERTO RICO baby..

by slamson on Oct 23, 2009 10:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks.

I’ll let my employer know that I need another job.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Oct 23, 2009 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Of which your employer will be thrilled to hear no doubt....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Oct 23, 2009 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs