Forget the likelihood of turnovers finally becoming too much to overcome (though the Bulls have committed just two less turnovers than the Kings, in the same amount of games), forget the possibility that we can't keep up this ridiculous offensive rebounding rate (13.89 per game, best in the NBA if I did the math right), even forget the propensity for former Kings players to have career nights against their former team (Tony Delk - 53pts, Jerome James - 17pts 15reb 5blocks, probably a few more) . All these are unsubstantiated mumbo jumbo brought to us by the stat hounds who in their need for order try to divine trends from vague numbers created by mathematical expressions so complex you would need a degree in psychoanalysis just to set your mind straight after you figured it all out.
Nope, if we lose tonight it is my fault. I'm convinced of it. For the first time since the Kings began winning I shaved. My golden locks of bristly man fuzz have been washed down the drain, and with it, any hope of continuing this winning streak. I didn't mean to, I swear, it started out as just a trim but it went horribly wrong and now I know that it's all my fault if the Kings lose tonight. The only hope I have of relieving my conscience is to hope and pray that enough of you have continued doing what you have been doing to keep this team winning. So help relieve my conscience and admit it if you have any pregame rituals, win streak extending superstitions, or special clothing that will help ensure a Kings victory tonight.