If the Kings Lose Tonight it's All My Fault...

by jasonrp on Nov 17, 2009 12:03 PM PST Comment 31 comments

Forget the likelihood of turnovers finally becoming too much to overcome (though the Bulls have committed just two less turnovers than the Kings, in the same amount of games), forget the possibility that we can't keep up this ridiculous offensive rebounding rate (13.89 per game, best in the NBA if I did the math right), even forget the propensity for former Kings players to have career nights against their former team (Tony Delk - 53pts, Jerome James - 17pts 15reb 5blocks, probably a few more) . All these are unsubstantiated mumbo jumbo brought to us by the stat hounds who in their need for order try to divine trends from vague numbers created by mathematical expressions so complex you would need a degree in psychoanalysis just to set your mind straight after you figured it all out.

Nope, if we lose tonight it is my fault. I'm convinced of it. For the first time since the Kings began winning I shaved. My golden locks of bristly man fuzz have been washed down the drain, and with it, any hope of continuing this winning streak. I didn't mean to, I swear, it started out as just a trim but it went horribly wrong and now I know that it's all my fault if the Kings lose tonight. The only hope I have of relieving my conscience is to hope and pray that enough of you have continued doing what you have been doing to keep this team winning. So help relieve my conscience and admit it if you have any pregame rituals, win streak extending superstitions, or special clothing that will help ensure a Kings victory tonight.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

1 recs | Comment 31 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Hell, just writing about it is bad luck.

I wouldn’t buy any green bananas, if I was you.

Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.

by andy sims on Nov 17, 2009 1:30 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Hell

i wouldn’t even leave the house

by Slaaam on Nov 17, 2009 1:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hell

I wouldn’t get out of bed.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Nov 17, 2009 1:52 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

crap

I bought some green bananas last night.

GREENE! You’ve been superfluously apostrophe’d! - andy sims

by iashwash on Nov 17, 2009 2:04 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

commenting on this post is bad luck...

…….damnit……

by B-RAD on Nov 17, 2009 5:54 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Interesting.

You’ve shaved, but I haven’t watched any games sine the Ks have been on this win streak, and I’m not sure whether or not I should watch tonight. It’s quite a predicament.

GREENE! You’ve been superfluously apostrophe’d! - andy sims

by iashwash on Nov 17, 2009 2:05 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Bitch

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Nov 17, 2009 2:13 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Nice

Ass.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Nov 17, 2009 2:26 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

I wouldn't sweat it

Someone will drop a “Here comes 6 and 4 baby!!” at the start of the game thread. The blame will concurrently transfer over.

by otis29 on Nov 17, 2009 2:42 PM PST reply actions 2 recs

the blame is currently yours

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Nov 17, 2009 4:55 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

If you are the Karma decider

wouldn’t that mean it’s now yours?

GREENE! You’ve been superfluously apostrophe’d! - andy sims

by iashwash on Nov 17, 2009 5:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

not anymore

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Nov 17, 2009 5:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

not really, see I never assigned any

I just asked. I was very careful about that.

GREENE! You’ve been superfluously apostrophe’d! - andy sims

by iashwash on Nov 17, 2009 5:28 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

nice try, but Karma knows

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Nov 17, 2009 5:33 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Just watch the damn game

The Kings will win or lose because of how they play. Shit.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Nov 17, 2009 5:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I suspect everyone is actually aware of that pookey

Try to have fun once in a while…sheesh.

by otis29 on Nov 17, 2009 8:09 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

No

I refuse to have fun. Grim all the time; that’s me.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Nov 17, 2009 9:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I haven't shaved or changed my underpants since the streak started

but it has nothing to do with the Kings. I’m just epically lazy. Though it’s not a bad idea to start using the “Kings are winning, I’m not changing a thing!” tactic if my wife starts nagging me about it.

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Nov 17, 2009 2:59 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Oh yea.

I wear my jersey (can’t tonight as it’s a B52), pour myself a nice dark beer in my Kings mug, and sit where I was sitting the last time the Kings were doing well. In college there was a whole group of us like this. And if they went on a run, it meant you couldn’t use the restroom until they either won the game or your lucky seat’s mojo ran out.

A lonely Kings fan in a sea of gold and purple...

by Jaycee on Nov 17, 2009 3:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Rough college you went to JC

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Nov 17, 2009 4:36 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs