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A Christmas Story

Garycoleman_400_medium

What you talking about, Willis Reed?


Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site

Not a threader was stirring, there was nary a fight.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Including an old one from Terry DeHere.

 

The bloggers were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of big men danced through their heads.

And Petrie and Levien reviewing the cap,

To see if someone might take on our crap.

Star-divide

When out of on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see if Sean May had grown fatter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

And found Kenny Thomas counting his cash.

 

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the objects it brightened an Evans-ly glow.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But two NBA owners with $1 beer.

 

With an little old driver, so learned and small,

It must be our Coachie next to one Paul Westphal.

More rapid than a hoop-driving Martin they came,

And Westphal whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

 

"Now JT, now Spencer, now, Tyreke and Donté!

On Beno! On Andres! And what about Omri?"

But Omri’s not here, to where did he flew?

He’s with Chanukah Harry, delivering toys to the Jews.

 

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

And lottery balls that once made us cry.

So up to the house-top the coursers set sail,

Aided by Brock’s elbows, from which they did flail.

 

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,

The prancing and pawing of Donté, that goof!

As I drew in my head, wondering were I insane,

I was presented with a Doratio candy-Kane.

 

He was dressed all in fur, and adorned with treasure,

I swore that he was the great Walt Frazier.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he assured me the Kings were on the right track.

 

His eyes – how they twinkled! He was kind of like Jerry.

His nose was like fruit – not Peaches, but cherry.

His droll little mouth was drawn like a bow,

And he promised the Kings would no longer blow.

 

The pipe in his mouth making regular turns,

Makes no sense, but rhymes with Evers Burns.

He had a broad face, and he was quite the joker

He no way resembled Ime Udoker.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

Then I realized it a reflection, I was staring at myself.

A wink of his eyes and a twist of his head,

And the days of lifeless basketball was forever dead.

 

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

Except when he muttered, "Napear’s a jerk!’

A laying a finger aside of his nose,

He declared "Tyreke Evans will be greater than Rose!"

 

He sprang to his sleigh, and whistled his team,

And Spencer and JT instinctively screamed.

But I heard them exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas Kings fans, and to all a good-night!"

Comment 34 comments  |  30 recs  | 

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You've inspired me to somehow work-in an "EVERS BURNS!" during Christmas dinner

This was a pleasant accompaniment to my Christmas Eve nightcap, appreciated and rec’d.

Oh, and you forgot Sergio.

Merry Christmas!

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 24, 2009 9:56 PM PST reply actions  

Er, Happy Holidays, rather

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 24, 2009 10:09 PM PST up reply actions  

Addendum -

“And rather than render another troll banished,
I’ll opt for some chocolate, variety Spanished.”

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Dec 24, 2009 10:18 PM PST up reply actions  

Well done

Thanks, now I can rest easy tonight.

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 24, 2009 10:27 PM PST up reply actions  

Bravo

And happy holidays to all Kings fan around the globe. May Santa grant us a Lakers loss!

Screw you Knicks! LBJ to the Kings!!!

by Shizzo on Dec 24, 2009 10:37 PM PST reply actions  

This is amazing, hawesome stuff...

but you forgot Kevin Martin. I guess eggnog and Evans can have that effect.

Tyrefic! Hawesome! Casstastic!

by Ball in Cup on Dec 24, 2009 10:39 PM PST reply actions  

nevermind, i found him.

Tyrefic! Hawesome! Casstastic!

by Ball in Cup on Dec 24, 2009 10:40 PM PST up reply actions  

You all need to go to bed.

Santa is on his way!

(Except for you, Section. You can post funny stuff all night long. Rec’d.)

StR Token Female

by LeaguePassAddict on Dec 24, 2009 10:41 PM PST reply actions  

I had something like this planned

But this is so much better.

Merry Christmas to all (except the Lakers) and to all (except the Lakers) a good night!

Purchase you're tickets to the first ever StR Night at ARCO Arena, 12/28/09 v. the Nuggets. Link is here!

by Aykis16 on Dec 24, 2009 10:50 PM PST reply actions  

Addendum #2

Alas, there’s no mention of Cisco at all?
He’s at the Pole destroying Physioballs.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Dec 24, 2009 11:00 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

Merry Christmas to everyone at StR

And may God bless everyone as they remember Jesus, Whom God gave the world as Savior nearly 2000 years ago.

"Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." Proverbs 17:28

by kwill on Dec 24, 2009 11:12 PM PST reply actions   2 recs

So good

"I make love to pressure" - Stephen Jackson

by Bluejohn on Dec 25, 2009 3:00 AM PST up reply actions  

Merry Xmas to you and your family 214.

As always your posts routinely cause me to chuckle.

Happy holidays to all STR fans. Looking forward to a exciting year..

Katy
She was dressed all in fur and quite a site
then I realized she 6’2 and it was going to be a long long night.

by nothingbutnet on Dec 25, 2009 12:08 AM PST reply actions  

Happy whatever you Satans

(that mean you Pookey)

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Dec 25, 2009 1:16 AM PST reply actions  

Can an athiest believe in Satan?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 25, 2009 9:22 AM PST up reply actions  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all Kings fans

Here’s to an outstanding 2010 of Kings basketball!

Natural Go Getta!

by slamson on Dec 25, 2009 1:56 AM PST reply actions  

Happy Hannukuh Section and all the little Sections and the ever patient Mrs. Section

“That Section he writes with a magic hand
  the words flow to the page like peas………………..from a can”

Thank you Section for another year of awesome insight, common sense, a great comedic touch but mostly for making it so much more fun to be a Kings fan.

"I make love to pressure" - Stephen Jackson

by Bluejohn on Dec 25, 2009 3:08 AM PST reply actions  

Happy holidays, everyone.

Let’s chalk up a W tomorrow.

What's the past tense for "scam?" Is it "scrumped?"

by swoosh91 on Dec 25, 2009 6:03 AM PST reply actions  

Wow

standing in awe, bravo.

Free Omri...trade.Noc.

by ForThree on Dec 25, 2009 6:16 AM PST reply actions  

this was

an awesome way to start my christmas day. thanks section

by chancelot on Dec 25, 2009 7:28 AM PST reply actions  

If the Kings are my God, StR is my temple.

Well done 214.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 25, 2009 8:12 AM PST reply actions  

Great read Section

Merry Christmas everyone!

"When you look at him, you say: 'Holy God.'" - Pete Carril on Tyreke Evans

by otis29 on Dec 25, 2009 8:28 AM PST reply actions  

Brilliant work Section.

Your first beer is on me Monday night!

Merry Christmas to all- thank you to the T-Zilly, Section, G Money and the countless posters that make this site so spectacular (even you CC).

No law when it comes to me.
I let you type critics write and I just keep it hood.
That will never change.
I am not kissing no ones ass because I'm in LA. Suck a cock.

-Ron Artest (e-mail exchange with Kyle Slavin)

by jjham15 on Dec 25, 2009 9:06 AM PST reply actions  

Thank you

I bask in the warm glow of the awesomeness.

Happy holidays to all in Sactown Royalty!

Rock out with your Brock out

by luckthefakers on Dec 25, 2009 9:36 AM PST reply actions  

Happy Holidays yall.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 25, 2009 9:52 AM PST reply actions  

Happy Holidays

all. Stay safe and I hope Santa’s good to you all!

by Dub_TC on Dec 25, 2009 10:50 AM PST reply actions  

Intellectually, I know it won't last

but watching the L***rs get they’re asses kicked on Christmas Day is nice.

Free Omri...trade.Noc.

by ForThree on Dec 25, 2009 3:08 PM PST reply actions  

Happy Holidays everyone!

Now I have to get back to cooking mashed potatos, buttered shrimps, roast chicken with honey-pineapple glaze and a peach ref cake. Sucks being the only one who knows how to cook in the family.

There can only be one Noce!

by NoceOne on Dec 25, 2009 5:41 PM PST reply actions  

well done section

Enjoyed reading the selection almost as much as watching the Lakers get their butts whooped today.

. . . and to all a goodnight, indeed.

Ba-da

by Ba-Da Bing on Dec 25, 2009 9:27 PM PST reply actions  

All I want for xmas is to beat the Lakers tomorrow!

Merry xmas everyone :)

Tommy Kelly's ass won us that game against Denver!

by Robby1987 on Dec 25, 2009 10:02 PM PST reply actions  

Happy holidays everyone!

Godfather of the "nice ass" movement.... the future begins now...

by edm7 on Dec 25, 2009 10:32 PM PST reply actions  

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