Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Dana White Announces Koscheck vs. Hendricks for UFC on FOX

The Mystical Caverns of the Valley of Kings.

In the Valley of Kings, the land that men call Sacramento, there exists a series of mystical caverns, which the locals call "Arcorena".  In the past, these caverns and her creatures proved dangerous and often fatal to unwanted foreigners passing through.  Few passed through and lived to tell the tale. 

But since the exodus of the great Warden Adelman and the disappearance of some of the older and stronger creatures, passage has been relatively safe.  Warriors from different lands were easily able to pass through, for the creatures within offered little resistance, and several pretenders to the title of Warden failed to gain control long enough to do much of anything.

But a new Warden has arrived from the foreign land of Westphalia, and since his arrival, the caverns have become much more dangerous.  Travelers disappear and do not return, and the ones that do survive tell of strange, new creatures, that attack with an amazing ferocity. 

Two giants live within the caves some say.  The taller one, although more skilled than the other at slaughtering opponents in melee, takes a savage pleasure in throwing boulders at his victims from a distance.  The older one prefers to wear his victims down, as he is filled with seemingly limitless stamina and seems immune to normal injuries.  He also excels at finishing the work the other creatures started.

Then there is one of the newer creatures, the beast known as Jewbacca.  It's rage is palpable, and it goes for its opponents heart each and every time.  Looking into its face can whither even the strongest man's resolve.  Strangely, this creature seems to have trouble killing an opponent when they are completely helpless, but reports are that this is slowly becoming less of a problem, as we were warned by Lawrence of Frankia, who lost many of his men to this faulty strategy, and who himself died shortly thereafter from his wounds.

Jewbacca_medium


Others speak of a creature even more frightening, a creature that feasts on cakes it makes of men. They call this force of nature the Brock Ness Monster.  It is not the most skilled of monsters, but it is relentless in its attacks, and will continue to bash its enemies into submission, even at the cost of hurting itself.  Nobody is safe from the Brock Ness Monster, not even the other creatures of the caves.

Brocknessmonster_medium

By far the most versatile monster of the caverns is the Point Gerberus, a three headed beast that has few weaknesses.  The middle and most prominent head is also the fiercest, constantly attacking and snapping at its preys ankles, hoping to break them and render it immobile and humbled.  It also confuses its prey by misleading it and making the prey believe that its not a real Point Gerberus, but something else altogether.

The left head is at its most dangerous when things are going badly for the Point Gerberus, and then it attacks with a quiet ferocity that drains the opponents momentum.  Few had trouble with this head last year, when it appeared morose and lax, but the new Warden has instilled a new vigor and energy into it.

The right head is quick as lightning, and is highly skilled at leading its opponents to be eaten by the other creatures of the caverns.  But it has no problem landing the killing blow itself.

Pointgerberus_medium

There are other creatures in the caverns as well of course, and some say the Warden is nursing a couple of the more powerful ones back to health as we speak.  Who knows how dangerous the caverns and its inhabitants will be then.

So be wary if you must travel through Arcorena, my friends.  Even if you survive, the journey will be arduous.  Don't say ye weren't warned of your peril.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

Comment 69 comments  |  25 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

rec'd

for “Jewbacca” alone! haha

by babasin on Dec 4, 2009 8:52 AM PST reply actions  

lovin that three heaed beast

"I make love to pressure" - Stephen Jackson

by Bluejohn on Dec 4, 2009 9:21 AM PST reply actions  

Two thoughts

1. As awesome as this is, you know that every time you post something that isn’t a continuation of “D.K. and the HoH”, i die a little bit inside.

2. How can I make Jewbacca my avitar pic?

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 4, 2009 10:22 AM PST reply actions  

Copy the picture to your hard drive

Then go into your profile on SBN and go to the profile section of your SBN account. There will be a box for pictures , and a box says browse. Just find the picture off your hard drive and that’ll be that. SBN will do the cropping for you.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 11:02 AM PST up reply actions  

Thanks

I had to get creative on adding some extra space around it (the SBN crop butchered it a bit), but I think I’m happy with it now. My first ever profile pic, so thanks Aykis and I hope you don’t mind because I’m not waiting for your permission.

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 4, 2009 12:46 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah I see that

Good job with the modifications.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 2:19 PM PST up reply actions  

ASSN, Tell me if you're not serious

I was going to do it myself – but you have ’dibs.

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Dec 4, 2009 11:41 AM PST up reply actions  

Thanks, it's mine

It wouldn’t feel right not having Inigo around anyways.

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 4, 2009 12:47 PM PST up reply actions  

You have an Antonio Banderas picture

I actually preferred that one to the pic of Inigo you have up.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 2:18 PM PST up reply actions  

Great!

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Dec 4, 2009 10:52 AM PST reply actions  

Lets hope the creatures of the Cave walls

will multiply and lend even more fierce energy to its newly dangerous masters.

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Dec 4, 2009 10:57 AM PST up reply actions  

I couldn't think of a good enough analogy for the fans

although I tried.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 10:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Sir Aykis the Grimm

You may have just outdone yourself.

Rec’d.

From the people who brought you Reggie Musselnatt.

by My Losing Season on Dec 4, 2009 11:03 AM PST reply actions  

Very nice Aykis

Very nice indeed.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 11:07 AM PST reply actions  

Hawesome

"Even when I’m old and grey, I won’t be able to play it, but I’ll still love the game." — Michael Jordan

Go Kings!

by Panzerfaust on Dec 4, 2009 11:10 AM PST reply actions  

Required viewing

There should be a section on StR that is required viewing and Aykis’ stuff needs to be front and center.

by MustangMBS on Dec 4, 2009 12:25 PM PST reply actions  

Agreed

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 2:27 PM PST up reply actions  

Keep raising the bar for the mere mortals, jackass!

Rec’d.

"When you look at him, you say: 'Holy God.'" - Pete Carril on Tyreke Evans

by otis29 on Dec 4, 2009 12:48 PM PST reply actions  

Unless I'm mistaken, Aykis

I think Otis just called you an immortal jackass.

There could be a compliment in there somewhere, but I wouldn’t swear to it.

From the people who brought you Reggie Musselnatt.

by My Losing Season on Dec 4, 2009 1:12 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

This was great.

G, clean out your desk.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Dec 4, 2009 1:20 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

You're a tough crowd LOL

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 2:28 PM PST up reply actions  

LOL!

Vanquish the Foe, a BYU Cougars blog at SB Nation

by sroufe on Dec 4, 2009 7:26 PM PST up reply actions  

I had a desk?

Master Ziller has just made me sleep on a bed of newspapers in the corner.

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Dec 4, 2009 9:03 PM PST up reply actions  

Aykis

You have a real talent for writing. Great job. I enjoyed it alot. rec’d.

by kwill on Dec 4, 2009 2:54 PM PST reply actions  

Haha!

That was great. Thanks for the laugh!

Go Kings.

Blessings.Love.Peace

by lifestyleforthesellout on Dec 4, 2009 3:38 PM PST reply actions  

Awesome, well done.

and a much better “Point Gerberus” than mine.

Ball movement ... is like jogging for most people: They do it occasionally, and it makes them happy. Then they go back to not doing it. - Henry Abbott

by Kfan in Korea on Dec 4, 2009 7:28 PM PST reply actions  

Rec'd
Nobody is safe from the Brock Ness Monster, not even the other creatures of the caves.

As long as he stays away from ’Reke’s ankles and Hawes’ knees. He can barbecue K9 with his flame breath though for all I care…

Vanquish the Foe, a BYU Cougars blog at SB Nation

by sroufe on Dec 4, 2009 7:29 PM PST reply actions  

Well Sroufe

Do you really want K9 given that he plays quality post defense & is one of the better rebounders on this team?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 8:27 PM PST up reply actions  

K9 gone^

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 8:27 PM PST up reply actions  

$8,775,000

Sorry, I should have said K9’s contract. I’m not ignorant to the contributions he’s made under Adelman and Westphal, I just can’t wait for that cap-space!

Vanquish the Foe, a BYU Cougars blog at SB Nation

by sroufe on Dec 4, 2009 8:46 PM PST up reply actions  

And what would you propose the Kings do with it?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:02 PM PST up reply actions  

Bet it all -


And always bet on black.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Dec 4, 2009 9:06 PM PST up reply actions   2 recs

I love Money Train

Why I have no idea, but I did.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:52 PM PST up reply actions  

Make it rain bro...

Vanquish the Foe, a BYU Cougars blog at SB Nation

by sroufe on Dec 5, 2009 2:44 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Nice!

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 5, 2009 3:34 PM PST up reply actions  

Loved this

Rec’d

Never forget: I am a complete idiot

by Exhibit G on Dec 4, 2009 9:04 PM PST reply actions  

Aykis has some genius doesn't he? LOL

(No, that’s not mocking.)

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:11 PM PST up reply actions  

I do have some genius

He’s locked in my basement and I force him to write fanposts for me for food.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 9:28 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

I knew there was a secret

I wish I had a basement to lock a genius in. :(

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:33 PM PST up reply actions  

Will write fanposts for food

It’s how I survive.

From the people who brought you Reggie Musselnatt.

by My Losing Season on Dec 4, 2009 10:59 PM PST up reply actions  

So you finally got hungry after a 2 1/2 month absence?

I’m impressed.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 11:07 PM PST up reply actions  

F'ing Awesome

I’m forwarding this to all my Warrior fan buddies.

Dannyboy

by dannyboy55 on Dec 4, 2009 9:34 PM PST reply actions  

They won't get it.

Trust me.

"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.

by AnotherStupidSN on Dec 4, 2009 9:40 PM PST up reply actions  

They'll just write something stupid....

….like this.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:46 PM PST up reply actions  

That is awesome.

TZ is at his best when he’s snarky.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 9:49 PM PST up reply actions  

My favorite of the post

And I forgot about it until just now by reading the comments, was that somebody called TZ a twat. Yes, I know. It still boggles my mind how you can call a dude a twat and have it be insulting.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:50 PM PST up reply actions  

Nevermind

He was called a twat on Fanhouse. The force runs strong in the stupid one’s.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:51 PM PST up reply actions  

That was a crazy time around her

I’ll be honest. Trolls are fun sometimes. At least you have someone new to make fun off. Making fun of Pookey gets old

Godfather of the "nice ass" movement.... the future begins now...

by edm7 on Dec 4, 2009 9:52 PM PST up reply actions  

Not for some

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 9:53 PM PST up reply actions  

I did my share of Pookey making fun of

Happened to be my most rec’d post. Until this one.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 10:02 PM PST up reply actions  

If I don't exist to be made fun of...

..what do I exist for?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 10:04 PM PST up reply actions  

Peeing on.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 10:07 PM PST up reply actions  

Over or under?

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 10:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Yes.

Father of the "Natt this!" movement and Grandmaster of the "Never let AnotherStupidSN forget what a Sham-Wow is" Order.

by Aykis16 on Dec 4, 2009 10:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Eric Maynor > Aykis

I’d just like to let you know that.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 10:36 PM PST up reply actions  

You've done it MBS!!!

That’s my new avatar! Quite awesome!

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 5, 2009 12:05 AM PST up reply actions  

ahh...

That was going to be my new avatar, but I guess you got dibs

by MustangMBS on Dec 5, 2009 1:50 AM PST up reply actions  

You can have it

It’s yours.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 5, 2009 2:35 AM PST up reply actions  

Just kidding :)

I wouldn’t do that…

I must add though. You have gone from pee to poo.

by MustangMBS on Dec 5, 2009 9:05 AM PST up reply actions  

Nah

Maybe sometime in the future. Me & Pooh are tight for the time being.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 5, 2009 11:38 AM PST up reply actions  

Wow...

amazing

The NBA: "Where 27 free throws happens"

by lodisacfan on Dec 5, 2009 1:54 AM PST reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Welcome to Sactown Royalty, the best community of Sacramento Kings fans in the universe. That's not my opinion; it's scientific fact.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

H0zca7s150tca95sfjscanfe1ybca7g7ohsca7s2phecadcfkcgcavang23cazdt3fpca3lwbl6ca97c92mcagt08cqca9mblmqcatpyt5lcano3ozbcapa2qy9caf2uy7ocaatxycicazwnb2scahv7ame_small
A Kings Fan's Guide To Yiddish
Demarcus-cousins-cho_small
A Micromoment in Time
Demarcus-cousins-kentucky-university-gestures-after-being-selected-the-sacramento-kings-the-fifth-overall-pick-the-2010-nba-draft-new-york_small
Just rewatched the game on TNT after being there....
Webber_in_tuxedo_small
A Story Within the Enemy Camp
Webber_in_tuxedo_small
Blackout Contest: 15 Houses, One Team

Recent FanPosts

Small
This Week's Asinine Trade Thread, February 12-20
Small
Here's to hoping for the best
S113399682030553_3084_small
Fan from a Far
Small
This will not make Webber apologists happy
Small
TNT Telecast, ESC facts, and ... Peaches
Keon_clark_small
Do We Need a Pass-First PG?
Wallpaper-slamson_small
Sacramento Kings & National TV Audience

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >


Editor

Loofie_small Tom Ziller

Joe_kleine_small section214

Demarcus_thornton_small Aykis16

Associate Editor

Coachie_small rbiegler

Banana2_small Exhibit G