FanPost

The Triumphant Return of the Ombudsman?!?

I’m sure many of you have wondered, and by many of you I of course mean none of you, why I am referred to as "Associate Editor" of this site. I write pieces sporadically, my comments are usually reserved exclusively for the contribution of double entendres and the only Kings jersey I own is of Jason Williams. Part of the reason, at least the part of the reason not related to under the table payouts, is that I am supposed to be this Blogs comment commentator. A job I have not pursued with the zeal necessary in part because of my actual job. But now my ass may be getting furloughed and, given that admission, the perception on this page will from today forward be that I don’t work anyway (isn’t State Worker an oxymoron?) so I’ve decided to attempt a State of the Mid-Season for this page’s participants. I am doing it today because next weekend I will be in Phoenix for the All Star break attempting to convince girls I’m Luke Ridnour. Which is a terrible idea, in part because I look nothing like Luke Ridnour, and in part because it’s Luke Ridnour.

I am breaking this down into relevant sections, lest it read with all the coherence of Pookey’s profile quote.

The Sycophant Rant

Perhaps the most asinine comment consistently made on this blog is the one that accuses STR’s frequenters of being sycophants to the Powers, or Power, that Be. Acknowledging that Kevin Martin is the best player on the current Kings roster is not an attempt to endear oneself to TZ. It is a statement of simple, statistical fact. To imply otherwise is insulting both to Ziller - as it insinuates he is accommodating only to those who mimic him - and to whomever the accusation is levied against. I have spent a considerable amount of time on this page and if I’ve been struck by anything it’s just how distinctly different everyone’s thinking is (unless, of course, it involves some combination of Kenny Thomas, Grant Napear and Kayte Christensen.) Besides isn’t there something innately counterproductive about creating a cult of personality on a fucking webpage? What exactly are the Ziller minions supposed to do? Collectively jump off Tower Bridge in the old gold Kevin Martin jerseys?

None of Us Knows Anything, so We Might as Well Live With It

Look, I’m not doubting you’ve watched hours of Pittsburgh game tape. And I’m sure the Little Dribblers you coach for the Parochial Athletic League have taught you an awful lot about what this Kings team needs to be relevant again. Maybe you played hoops in Junior College, or for your Law Firms rec. team. But I don’t need to know that in order to know why you’re suggestion of a Kevin Martin for Kwame Brown trade has merit. Spending excessive amounts of time defending a point is one thing. Spending excessive amounts of time justifying why the point was made at all is a nuisance.

In Defense of Pookey

If you come across a post detailing a potential trade of Royal Ivey for a future second round pick that has 78 comments there’s a fairly good chance that most, if not all, of those comments will have been made by Pookey Guru. Pookey is the only person I know who will comment on his comments that he’s already commented on. There are those who may assume someone in my self appointed position may feel tempted to criticize Pookey. Contrarily I come here to praise him. For two reasons:

1) He is indeed prolific, but never, ever have I felt Pookey is writing simply to read himself. His comments are consistently topical, insightful and spirited. He is open to others input and respectful of their opinions. Criticism of constant commentary should stem from the intentions of the commentator, Pookey is nothing if not well intentioned.

2) This may be an issue reserved for those who work in bureaucracy, but there are few things more chronically irritating than the person who feels the need to criticize your grammar after every typo. Thanks, receptionist, for telling me that apostrophe shouldn’t be there in that e-mail I sent about buying fucking "Valentine Fun Bags" for the employee fundraiser. Anyway criticizing a person for commenting too much is the blog equivalent of that woman.

In any case while it is not my intention to cyber-fellate Pookey this page is lucky to have him and his absence would hinder this blog as much as a Ziller or Section departure.

A Brief Word on the Trolls

There’s no better indication of just how bad your team is doing then when, whether it’s out of sympathy or just general disinterest, the trolls don’t even bother harassing you anymore. Realistically it’s pretty difficult to be an out of town contrarian when a season like this turns even the most ardent Kevin Martin defender or Petrie apologist into a contrarian’s contrarian. Everything sucks presently. We don’t need a 13 year old from suburban Salem to remind us. So it’s nice to have Mr. Pappagiorgio over at Loud City to gleefully share in our misery with mutually assured destruction of an afternoon alcoholic. Cheers to you sir.

Speaking of futility…

Gallows Humor, Gallows Humor, Gallows Humor

I don’t think anyone realizes just what a labor of love this page becomes when your team is losing by 100 to a mediocre Suns squad or going into overtime against the Hornets at home. Seriously talking about a Greg Monroe game in December? Analyzing a Quincy Douby-Maurice Ager swap? (An underrated trade by the way.) This is what we’re reduced to? And yet we do it. We do it not because we want to. But because we have to. Someone needs to be a fan of this squad. And as opposed to this page’s popularity diving in syncopation with this season’s swoon it only appears to be increasing. Kudos to all of you, who have come here, been sincere, insightful and impassioned, but have been all of the above with a distinct tongue in cheekiness that indicates no, we’re not taking ourselves, or this season, too seriously

Now Ziller, about that Angela Tsai vs. Becca the Royal Court Dancer: Quien Es Mas Macho Post…

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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