(Sometimes, you stand before a cup of rat poison and a cup of ether. Take the ether. Always the ether.)

Fact: no one in Sacramento has higher approval ratings than Bobby Jackson. Why? Here's an example:

If Bobby Jackson were to run for public office, let us estimate that 90% of eligible Sacramento voters would back him. In 2006, Sacramento County had 362,000 voters. Placer had about 120,000. Yolo had 53,000. Yuba had 14,000. El Dorado had 68,000. These areas are all decidedly pro-Kings, and as such are all pro-Bobby Jackson.

That's 617,000 voters. If Jackson gets 90% of these, he has 550,000 votes in the bag. Statewide, 8.6 million votes were cast for the governor's race. Subtract the 617,000 Sacramento area votes, and 8 million would be up for grabs. In the total 8.6 million, BoJax needs (roughly) 4,300,001 votes to win. Accounting for his in-the-bag Sacramento votes, he'd need 3.75 million of the 8 million non-Sacramento votes to win by one vote. So he'd need to run at 47% outside Sacramento. (This all assumes a two-person race, which never happens.)

Who's ready to canvass L.A. to tell the people Bobby Jackson isn't really a bad guy?

(Note: Bobby Jackson is not running for the governorship. This is all completely made up and ridiculous. I just wanted to post the clip -- thank you kingsTV -- and note that I would vote for Bobby Jackson for governor. I would. So would you. Even you Kusian. Don't lie.)