Kings One-Liners

by furious.d on Apr 10, 2009 11:34 PM PDT Comment 14 comments

In honor of what Peaches unilaterally (though probably fairly) decreed the worst loss of the season tonight, I'd like to invite the StR community to take a moment to ring off its best Kings one-liners. Remember - while inappropriateness isn't required, it will get you bonus points in the lightning round. Personally I'm going to follow the classic [blank] the Kings is like [blank], [blank] format, but feel free to develop your own style.

For example, I'll start:

Playing for the Kings is like being a horny teenager; you're constantly beating yourself but you rarely break a sweat doing so.

Or, for the PG-13 set:

Being a Kings fan is like fighting with the Order of the Phoenix in the Battle for Hogwarts; your only hope is a scrawny teenager with a dopey haircut.

Go ahead, let's see what you've saved up over the course of 63 losses.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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playing for the Kings is like having a bossy girlfriend...

You’re always going down!

by thisismellow on Apr 11, 2009 12:03 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Too soon

That sucked ass tonight.

Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.

by andy sims on Apr 11, 2009 1:41 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Being a KIngs fan is like having a reversible ShopVac

It sucks and blows.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 11, 2009 8:00 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Being a Kings Fan is like being caught with the door unlocked and 'Reading Material' exposed

There’s no defense that works at all – and your excuses sound lame.

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
- lend the eye a terrible aspect
and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Apr 11, 2009 10:42 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Being a Kings fan

Is like being Cinderella waiting for her fairy godmother to finish the job.

You need a couple more pieces and a COACH to get you there.

(That’s for the G-rated crowd.)

Coming to you live from the land of interim coaches.

by LeaguePassAddict on Apr 11, 2009 10:52 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

And yet it's X rated in nature

Go figure that of the Mama LDS in the group.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 11, 2009 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You're so odd.

Coming to you live from the land of interim coaches.

by LeaguePassAddict on Apr 12, 2009 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Me?

Not an even chance of that happening. Ever.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 12, 2009 10:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Rim Shot

The Kings are like the Octo-Mom; an ugly wanna-be with a bunch of whining babies and no male role model.

Beng a Kings fan is like choosing Sarah Palin as your running mate; for every time they look good, there’s about 10 times they look retarded…and then, at the end of the ride, they just point fingers and blame the media.

What’s the different between the Kings and Asian sweatshop child laborers? The child laborers actually make baskets.

Being a Kings fan is like living through the Bush administration; you wake up everyday to the same stupid press releases, there’s a total lack of accountability & leadership, money is being drained at an exponential rate, the rest of the world thinks you’re a jerk, there is no well-defined game plan for winning the battle, and you can’t wait for the future to get here.

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 11, 2009 11:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Sarah Palin has nice tits

Wait a minute, what did you say?

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 11, 2009 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs