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Ike Diogu Super Happy Fun Thread

Hawes_medium

Spencer Hawes (left) and unknown douche discuss the prowess of Ike Diogu.


Ike Diogu is the biggest thing to hit the Sacramento Kings since the introduction of Slamson, with apologies to the "site masters" here at StR. He is a man, wrapped inside a beast, surrounded by thick, rich, gooey frosting. We likey Ikey.

We have uncovered the genius that is Geoff Petrie. The acquisition of Diogu was not a cost saving move. And the sly bastard would have pulled it off, had it not been for our Natt-brained coach that saw fit to move Diogu ahead of Calvin Booth for the last two games of the season. Now the secret is out, and we may soon lose our beloved Ike forever.

As this may be Diogu’s curtain call, let us regale one another with tales of his feats of accomplishment (they are all probably still on your DVR). Let’s drink deep from the chalice that is Ike Diogu.

"Super Happy Fun Thread" dos and don’ts:

  • You are encouraged to mention that Ike averaged 12 pts. and 5 rebs. per game in April.
  • You are discouraged from mentioning that his 2nd best month was March, when he averaged 3.5 and 2.
  • You are encouraged to revel in the 60 points that Ike scored over the past two games.
  • You are discouraged from mentioning the 59 total points that he had scored this year leading up to those last two games.
  • You may suggest that the Kings re-sign Diogu.
  • You should ignore the almost $12 million cap hold should the Kings not renounce his rights, as well as the odds of him re-signing in Sacramento once he is an unrestricted free agent.
  • Remember, this is just an exhibition, not a competition. Please, no wagering.
  • You may suggest that he would make up a formidable trio with Hawes and JT, enabling us to focus on a PG in the draft.
  • You should disregard that argument if you feel that Blake Griffin is too short, as Digou measured 6-6 ½ at his pre-draft camp (in his bare feet…of course…barefeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!).
  • You are entitled to call Kenny Natt an idiot for not playing Ike Diogu.
  • You are also entitled to call Mike Montgomery, Don Nelson, Jim O’Brien and Nate McMillan idiots, as well as Chris Mullin, Donnie Walsh, Larry Bird and Kevin Pritchard.
  • Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times.
  • You should kiss mi714’s arse.
  • You should tell TZ and all of the other "site masters" to kiss your arse.
  • Jerryisms are encouraged (I like Ike, Diogu very much, etc.).
  • Pookeyisms are discouraged (BJ Mullens worthless ass > Ike Diogu, etc.).
  • Do not turn and run away from a mountain lion...no, do...no, don't.

So, while I pour one out for Quincy, let’s pay homage to Ike Diogu. As the late, great Ike Turner would say,

Ike_medium

"Just smile and play along, bitch."


3 recs  |  Comment 126 comments |

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That was not meant for you to quote me

Yet, now, people will realize how deep my stupidity really goes.

On a serious note, great stuff 214. You rarely disappoint, but when you do, all I have to do is remember you’re a Jew, and you have dirty pics of God.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:24 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I do not have dirty pictures of God -

but we did go to school together.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Section was voted "Class Clown"

God was voted “Most Likely to Steal Your Virginity”

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I thought the whole deal was that he didn't need to?

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Apr 15, 2009 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thou shalt not...

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

what? thou shalt not what?

confirm that the Lord can knock up your girl without knocking out… her girlhood? The blasphemy is ABOVE my friend, I am merely relaying the scripture. Don’t think you can get away with that holier than Thou talk, disciple, because… well, because:

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.”

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Apr 16, 2009 2:50 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Okay Brother Josiah

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 4:47 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Mmmmm

That is a tasty burger!

With the fourth pick of the draft the kings select...

by kangsfan on Apr 16, 2009 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

+1

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Apr 16, 2009 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And now,

I need you to go in that bag and get my wallet. It’s the one that says “Bad Motha Fucka” on it.

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 16, 2009 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't expect you to admit this

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

We already knew how deep it went

If I yell loud enough it echos

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Bastard

How dare you insult me and make me laugh simultaneously? Bastard!

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

My feelings are hurt...

…that your’e trying to hurt my feelings.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm not even trying, this is effortless

Like Ike Diogu on the boards

see how I tied that back in?

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm going to stab you if you keep this up

Your chicken egg is safe though I promise.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hope your aim isn't as good as Ike's

Turner’s or Diogu’s

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm quite clever

And I stab with velocity at many angles.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Or the projectile missiles JT's feet sends every time he rotates them

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:45 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good thing Ike can swat those mofos away

or else he’d be one dead Diogu

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Suddenly have a craving for Matzoh.

Gonna go butter one up and cme back to the thread.

by avishai on Apr 15, 2009 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And to think...

I really hoped we’d go after Paul Millsap this summer.

Had Diogu played in the early 90’s people would’ve said “I wanna be like Ike” instead

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:26 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ike Diogu is so stong

he can hold Kenny Thomas’s wallet in one hand.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 8:41 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

But is Ike Diogu a ding dong?

That’s the real question!

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah

but can he hold McCants’ ego in one hand?

Kings fan in OKC

by rockrichmond2 on Apr 15, 2009 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

McCants can't even hold his own ego

every time he tries to he feels like he has to shoot it

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hahahaha! Rec'd!

There can only be one Noce!

by NoceOne on Apr 15, 2009 9:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm all for signing him

if we can hire a professional hypnotizer who can make Ike think every game is the last game of the season and the last of his contract.

smell the ashes

by iamstern'skippah! on Apr 15, 2009 8:44 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Brilliant!

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:45 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh - My - Gawd

I need to create about 100 new personas so that I may “rec” this 101 times.

I don’t care if the 10 Commandments was just on TV – I worship you.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 8:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And lunch period 6 must have been off the hook.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lunch Period 6...

…how I miss you.

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You are going green?

HOw does that feel?

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

In less than 10 minutes

That could be a record, though Ike would have done it in 5 minutes.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

When the boogeyman goes to sleep...

…he checks his closet for Ike Diogu

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions   3 recs

Turn on the sprinkler systems -

27ft is on fire!

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Turn the Sprinkler systems on

I smell Peaches somewhere.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 9:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

OMG Had to read it twice

Awesome shite

With the fourth pick of the draft the kings select...

by kangsfan on Apr 16, 2009 12:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That might be

The greatest thing I’ve ever seen. EVER.

by Carl on Apr 15, 2009 10:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ike Diogu does not get frostbite

Ike Diogu bites frost.

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:01 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

He most definitely sucks...

at sucking

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 15, 2009 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Gee,

that didn’t seem super, happy, or fun.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:05 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'll be super happy

when Mike Dunleavy Sr. signs him to a 5 years 35 millon dollar contract.

by eduardo_m7 on Apr 15, 2009 9:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

There -

That’s the spirit – attaboy!

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:17 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ike Diogu does not sleep. He waits.

You have been warned.

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Crazy crazy

pops the bubble of our three day infatuation

I already ordered the Ike-D bobble-head :(

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
- lend the eye a terrible aspect
and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Apr 15, 2009 9:21 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ike Diogu counted to infinity...twice.

But after spending so much time to plot his revenge for the garbage time at the end of the season, he didn’t have much else going on.

Coming to you live from the land of interim coaches.

by LeaguePassAddict on Apr 15, 2009 9:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Crap. Wrong computer.

Kings fan? A's Fan?! Al Davis Run Raiders Fan?!!?!! ANNNND you're sacrificing 2 years of your life because you're LDS?!!?!?!?!?! Yeah, Masochist is the new sexy.

by killerking on Apr 15, 2009 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ike Diogu's computer doesn't have a "ctrl" button...

…because Ike Diogu is always in control.

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Regular People wear Superman Pajama's,

Superman, wears Ike Diogu pajamas.

Kings fan? A's Fan?! Al Davis Run Raiders Fan?!!?!! ANNNND you're sacrificing 2 years of your life because you're LDS?!!?!?!?!?! Yeah, Masochist is the new sexy.

by killerking on Apr 15, 2009 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Wait.... I got it!

Ike Diogu…IS Superman!

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hear LaMarcus Aldridge

has an Ike Diogu poster on his wall.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's nothing compared to Shaq's Shrine to him.

Kings fan? A's Fan?! Al Davis Run Raiders Fan?!!?!! ANNNND you're sacrificing 2 years of your life because you're LDS?!!?!?!?!?! Yeah, Masochist is the new sexy.

by killerking on Apr 15, 2009 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

But is Diogu the pin or the bowling ball?

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Frye might

Those two were BFF bench buddies. They would always play one on one during warm ups.

by Sabonis4Ever on Apr 16, 2009 2:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That brings a tear to my eye

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 4:46 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nice!

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey guys

Did you all catch those two games by Ike Diogu?? 28 – 13 and 32 – 11. Wow.. just wow!!! This guy is a monster!!!!!!!!

by eduardo_m7 on Apr 15, 2009 9:31 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

It's the 3rd arm that makes him special

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:34 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

That black alien guy from Total Recall will be angry

Diogu is taking his spot.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

He should be angry

because Ike can also handle the girl with the 3 boobs

by eduardo_m7 on Apr 15, 2009 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

LOL - FUCK YES, BRO!

That was awesome, Sir.

rec’d

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 15, 2009 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Whoops...meant to rec Pookey

for the Total Recall 3-boob reference.

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 15, 2009 10:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I just wish that he'd stop teasing the neighbor kids

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:37 PM PDT reply actions   2 recs

What are you talking about, that other kid is still 8 feet tall!

They are both able to dunk without jumping! 6’-6.5" out of shoes huh, must be some tall shoes!

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:39 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ike is standing

on his gawdy stats.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:43 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Zing!

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 15, 2009 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Only Ike was smart enough to wrangle an exetended vacation -


The other two guys still have to go to work, every day.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 9:44 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

What would it take to get bayless on the kings next year? man that would be awesome..imagine bayless, martin, hedo, griffin, hawes.. as you starting five..

by Burrito3 on Apr 15, 2009 10:17 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I sh*t guacamole

Imagine us together.

Bé foréwarnéd: I am a mémbér of StR Groupthink méntality.

by CAB on Apr 15, 2009 10:21 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

What about Ike?

This is his super happy fun thread, after all.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 15, 2009 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How about

Ike and 4 other clowns as your starting five?? Now, THAT’S something to get excited about

by eduardo_m7 on Apr 15, 2009 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Do they have to have red noses?

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Batum is so damn sexy

Oh crap…..did I say that out loud?

by Sabonis4Ever on Apr 16, 2009 2:30 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No Sophia

You didn’t.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 4:46 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The last time Ike Diogu shit:

-his turd went into the sewer and beat up giant aligators.
-his turd grabbed 10 boards as it was being flushed.
-his turd bore a strong resemblence to Kenny Thomas. So, naturally it killed K9, took over his life (and lucrative contract), and sits at the end of the bench during games…what, you didn’t think Thomas actually smelled that bad, did you?
-his turd was recruited to play at FIU…by Isiah Thomas, of course.

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 15, 2009 9:59 PM PDT reply actions   2 recs

Hey, what do you mean "unknown douche"!?!

Don’t you recognize Danny Bondoucci when you see him?

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 15, 2009 10:02 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

SPENCER HAWES

IN HIS WHOLE LONG STORIED CAREER NEVER HAD A GAME AS GOOD AS EITHER OF IKE DIOGU’S LAST TWO.

Yes, this is proof that Ike Diogu is right now better than Spencer Hawes will ever be.

TRADE SPENCER, KEEP IKE!
TRADE SPENCER, KEEP IKE!
TRADE SPENCER, KEEP IKE!
TRADE SPENCER, KEEP IKE!

by otis29 on Apr 15, 2009 10:38 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Stay Classy Mike Dunleavy.

Kings fan? A's Fan?! Al Davis Run Raiders Fan?!!?!! ANNNND you're sacrificing 2 years of your life because you're LDS?!!?!?!?!?! Yeah, Masochist is the new sexy.

by killerking on Apr 15, 2009 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Even Mike Dunleavy's pro coaching career doesn't suck as much mine did

Signed, Mike Montgomery

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 15, 2009 10:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

brevity

is the soul of wit.

Donte? Donte'! Donté?!?!
'spect da 'xtra E'

by iashwash on Apr 16, 2009 12:08 AM PDT up reply actions   2 recs

I think Ike

Just pulled a Beno Udrih on us. I wonder if they have a secret handshake yet?

by otis29 on Apr 15, 2009 10:57 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

LOL...That's awesome.

"It's shyte being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fuckin' Earth. The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic, trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by Wankers -- Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by . . . It's a shyte state of affairs to be in...and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fuckin' difference!"

by PhutureKings on Apr 16, 2009 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

BWAHAHAHA!!

There are a TON of comedians on this site! If there was a website that gave out awards for the funniest blog post, this one would win hands down.

Can we swap K-9’s contract for Diogu’s if we promise to not play him next season? Even K-9 never spurred comments this hilarious.

Kings rule! (They are royalty - right?)

by dalt99 on Apr 15, 2009 11:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

And almost none know anything about Ike Diogu

2 year all conference Pac 10 his first 2 years at Az state and in his junior year named (Pac 10 player of the year). Drafted 9th by Chris Mullen of the dubs, came into training camp recovering from a broken hand, didn’t play for the first 12 games. Came into Dubs camp in a period of high turmoil just as nellie was brought in. Though he missed training camp (remember how long it took Spence to catch up) he ended up starting 14 games for nellie and all you knowledgeable bball fans know how nellie loves to start rookies (see Randolph, Anthony)

Was an important part of “The Trade” between the dubs and indie after the ‘Malice in the Palace" the “Brawl in the Hall” that brought us Ron Artest after he had served his year’s suspension. Ike was almost the deal breaker because Mullin didn’t want to give him up, Bird thought Ike was the “gem” of the trade. He played ok during the second half of his first season with Indianapolis and after a strong summer training with the team tore a calf muscle early in the season and left for 6-8 weeks as the 3rd leading scorer and when he came back didn’t regain his spot.

Last draft night as we waited eagerly for Jerad Bayless to drop to us (we picked JT with the 12th pick, remember, oh what fun was had here at StR that night) Indie drafted him and then promptly traded with the Blazers for the 13 pick, pieces and Ike, Ike Diogu. Ike pretty much rode the bench getting minimal minutes in Portland except when he filled in for Channing Frye for I think 12 games when frankly he didn’t do much and was promptly relegated back to the bench. You could also say that Portland is a young team that has drafted and traded well and still doesn’t have enough minutes for all their young talent.

So as Ike’s tale of woe continues he was traded to your Sacramento Kings (how much worse can it get?) where until recently he rode the bench some more in relative anonymity destined to ride off into the sunset and his continued mediocre career never to be spoken of here again except………

Except he played decently during the clips game and then when spence went had the temerity to play the game of his career, a game I might add JT and Spence have not yet come close to, showing more low post skills, strength, left hand (did I miss that, is he a lefty?) than we have seen from our beloved kids (yes, I love and have high hopes for them) so far this season.

I saw the last 6 minutes of the 1st quarter and the first 4 of the second haven’t seen a box score yet and don’t know if we won or lost but all I can say is that in the 10 minutes of the game Ike was tearing it up. And then after I get home and watch Mythbusters with my son and then “The Unusuals” on ABC which I must say I think is kind of a cool show and frankly, for lack of a better word, unusual, I see that Section 214, my hero, has written a post and I must say again I didn’t read just skimmed but take it to be kind of anti Ike in general and anti mi714 in particular I kinda have to wonder what I missed tonight that 83 people would post on.

I have to say I LIKE IKE!!!!!!!!

What he showed on Monday night is at this point is that he has a more complete game than JT or Spence (at this point in time only). Does this mean that he has more potential or will be a better player than JT? Don’t get your boxers in a twist.

Of course we have to renounce him otherwise we him freezing our cap for valuable weeks this summer. Should we draft DuJuan Blair with the rox pick this summer? No. I LIKE IKE.

We are bad enough (can’t get much worse) that we can possibly (though not likely) take a flyer on DuJuan but can’t risk taking a chance on Ike because what? Because he’s a loser? At 25, he’s a washed up journeyman? That he’s only playing for his next contract and then as soon as he signs it it’s back to the bench for him? That GP is so dumb that based on a few games he’s going to give IKE the full MLE? (Hey man, that’s what he did with beno)……. What?

What is it about Ike Diogu and mi714 that have you so riled up? Some scrub plays a few good games and some kid whose only posted here a few times and probably won’t again unless you encourage him and you guys scream like an old lady with a mouse in the room.

I tend to think that Ike’s game is legit and that what we’ve seen in the last few games represent skill, opportunity and some measure of desperation that resulted in Ike playing the games of his career (I’m still assuming he played well tonight) and if I’m right (50% chance) some team, some good team is going to pick up a heck of a player because the Kings can’t afford to pay the money or take the risk on another failure other than a draft failure and that’s too bad. Some team is going to pick up Ike fairly cheaply because they can afford to purchase a piece while we have to concentrate on drafting the piece and again, that’s too bad.

I hope he goes on to have the career Chris Mullen envisioned when he drafted him with the 9th piece. He was a revelation on Monday night showing far more than McCants did when he went off for 30 points. I’m still left wondering what about Ike Diogu and and mi714 set you guys off and got you so defensive, and I’m still wondering whether we actually won the game and whether Ike had the game I think he may have or whether mi714 responded to Section’s post or what I’m doing typing a 1:30 in the morning.

I’ll find out in the morning but until then, SEE YOU @ SACTOWN ROYALTY!!!!!

"We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good." - Charles Barkley

by Bluejohn on Apr 16, 2009 1:36 AM PDT up reply actions   2 recs

I didn't know you were a comedian BJ

But, this is funny shit homes.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 5:11 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think Ike is similar to Leon Powe of the Celtics but with a better jumper. If Powe played 30 minutes a game, he would average 15/8 per game. Ike’s numbers would be at least 15/8 if given the opportunity to play. In college, Ike was unstoppable.

by expobear on Apr 20, 2009 7:33 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

re: 214

A “masterpiece” 214. Vindictive, angry, full of mis-directed aggression, with a chaser of sour grapes. You really wanted to crack our scrawny necks, but you are too old and slow to catch us, so you did the next best thing- slam Ike again. We told you guys- he didn’t pick us either.
We got up into your head, stomped around in our size 10, 11,11, and 14’s, sat on that couch you had in college,drank beer, and waited once again.
You did not disappoint, or did you?
 “Z” said goodbye to him before the game, and you proudly wrote about him so your other cronies could slam him too. Really a class act, but then again this is “your” forum. Just for fans who think like you, or else.

Are you thinking about possible A.K.A.‘s? We are betting your thinking about this last guy, bluejohn, or maybe the ghost, because they also appreciated Diogu’s effort and enthusiasm ater a long season for both him and us.

Maybe we are hiding out as one of the other brave souls who dared to cross the “masters”, and give the guy a little credit.

It might have been much more effective to get in on the “negative” side. What do you think?
 
Just so you know, we ’ve been here the whole time- watching the games and trying to find something positive to enjoy. Thanks, Jason, Spencer, McCants, Beno, Donte, Bobby, Kevin, Cisco, and Ike for the good games and the bad. We are “Kings” fans
who like beer.

Note to Bluejohn- Don’t concern yourself with this- we made them mad, and because we like Diogu, they went after him. We keep telling them- he did not pick us as fans, and we are pretty sure we won’t be getting his autograph anytime soon. You wrote an excellent post. We hope you don’t get slammed.

by mi714 on Apr 16, 2009 4:59 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This is what happens when you combine

this

with this

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 5:21 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You're insane

I mean that in the nicest way possible.

by Ziller on Apr 16, 2009 5:27 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So

This is what happens when Coolcat goes off his meds.

Coming to you live from the land of interim coaches.

by LeaguePassAddict on Apr 16, 2009 9:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I say be nice to CC

He hasn’t been around much. Nor has he been difficult or irritating when he has.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I miss the guy

But I’ve got issues.

Wait....Why is everybody clapping? Everyone around me is clapping.... I guess I should be clapping too... GO LAKERS!!! I hate living in So Cal

by 27freethrows on Apr 16, 2009 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

True

But he had a few posts where he ranted a bit about how he was the lone voice of reason in a sea of group-think. This guy just takes it to a whole new level.

That said, nothing against CC. Now that he’s over the Artest trade, he has a lot of good stuff to say.

Coming to you live from the land of interim coaches.

by LeaguePassAddict on Apr 17, 2009 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That made no fucking sense whatsoever

in fact, I am now dumber for having read that. The world needs smart people like me around and you just went and fucked it all up for everybody. Thanks.

www.mancancook.net

by vfettke on Apr 16, 2009 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"Where are they now?" - Summer 2010 edition

Quincy Douby?
Ike Diogu?
Emelia Earhart?
The guy who played Joey on Friends?

Ike will always be in our memories, as long as that sweet hottub picture is floating around.

by otis29 on Apr 16, 2009 5:20 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ike is in that picture?

All I see is boobs. :)

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 5:21 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Unfortunitely for Ike, you guys are never wrong ;p)

I’ll give Ike this, he showed some game. In the limited time he had with us he didn’t chock and he got people talking. He showed a inside & outside game, & he rebounded. Certainly, skills we surely need. And, based on this mornings Bee, his chances of staying around are better than Natt’s.

GP didn’t need to trade for him, but he did which raises the question WHY? And, the bigger question, Why not sooner? Since Natt wasn’t having the greatest luck with his adventures into Small Ball.

I originally believed that a Vet Minimum Center like Booth wouldn’t be a bad pickup for next year, especially if we got Griffin. But, Ike could also fill that spot. But, whatever happens, Ike has secured his presence as a topic through out the summer, and maybe even more next season.

"If you don't have anything good to say, LIE" - Mom

by HighTops on Apr 16, 2009 8:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Money I bet

Portland gave a huge chunk of cash to the Maloofs so the Kings could take Diogu back. But I imagine the reason Petrie did it was because of Diogu’s talent. The cash was just a bonus and extra incentive to do so.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 8:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

OK, let me clear this up for you

I have no issue with Diogu or his game. My sole issue is that anyone would be insane enough to get mad over the fact that TZ thought that Spencer Hawes’ knee injury was a bigger story than Diogu’s 32 and 11. That anyone would actually be offended by that.

I’d love to see Diogu on the Kings’ bench next year, as long as he could be had on the cheap for no more than two years. The man scored more points in the last two games than he had all year. You can’t blame me for not wanting to bust open the check book.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 16, 2009 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Especially when A)

Some of those points were scored when the Nuggets weren’t playing that hard defensively, and B) Minnesota had no defender taller than 6’10 (Love) available to defend him. Not exactly the best sample size to draw off yanno?

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nuggets still beat the crap out of us

And its not like we’re playing NCAA basketball. These guys are NBA players and Diogu erupted on them. I would not mind having him for a decent price. All depends on the draft though.

by Aykis16 on Apr 16, 2009 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think Diogu's potential

Is Zac Randolph without the issues. Which is pretty good.

by Aykis16 on Apr 16, 2009 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So you're telling me all Diogu can do is score and grab rebounds that come to him?

Okay, that’s nice. But, that better be for cheap.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Consider yourself blameless

I don’t know who is offended but since you responded to my post, I guess you think I am. But, I’m not. It’s really only whether or not Ike can help the Kings next yr, at what ever price. And, people have a right to believe that he can’t. He hasn’t proved anything definitively over his 4 yr career, so why not write off his last 2 games as a fluke.

Options; and what are they are my only question. Without Griffin, where will our 3rd big come from? The draft? Not likely to get an immediate contributor there after our 1st pick. FA? With little cap space and no one to trade, unlikely there also. So, what better options do we have.

Your willing to give Ike 2yr at $2M per, while I’d be willing to give him the QO as long as he’s the 3rd big. Same dollar amount. If he turns our to be good you got a better deal but I didn’t over pay. If he turns out bad, we paid the same amount but I got rid of him a yr sooner.

Just considering our options, until May 19th.

"If you don't have anything good to say, LIE" - Mom

by HighTops on Apr 16, 2009 7:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You say qualifying offer

That would insinuate that you would not renounce his rights, and the nearly $12 million cap hold that goes with it. Am I understanding that correctly?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 16, 2009 7:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

If you offer Ike the QO

There’s no way they can have cap room due to the way the Salary Cap is structured. I say that, because I think people think the KIngs have more room under the cap than they actually with with a top 4 pick and another pick (23rd) that will cost a million dollars along with it. I’ll be genuinely shocked if the KIngs have ANY cap room whatsoever going into the summer, despite what’s often been said.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 16, 2009 7:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Cap hold has no relevance

Because of what Pookey said below, and because we have to also renounce our MLE & Bi-Annual exemptions before we could use any cap space anyways. And, as long as we make the offer before June 30th we can rescind it at anytime if he doesn’t accept it.

The point of using the QO is to put a sense of urgency on him. If he waits too long, he takes the chance that we’ll rescind the offer. If his agent waits too long Ike could end up in the same position as Wells. You make the offer and tell him it would be rescinded 1 day after the FA period starts. So, you can still pursue other avenues.

"If you don't have anything good to say, LIE" - Mom

by HighTops on Apr 16, 2009 9:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Same position as Wells?

There’s a big difference to saying no to $4 million and $35 million. Diogu can find $4 million in Europe if nothing transpires here. I don’t think that he or his agent will be “pressured” into signing a $4 million deal.

Again, I like Diogu. But the fact that we would not be having this conversation had Hawes not hurt his knee makes me question how many hoops we want to jump through to retain him. That said, if he can be had on the cheap, cool.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Apr 16, 2009 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The dollar amount doesn't make it dissimilar

Going to europe or Chine both mean being out of the NBA so they are similar. And, if he has to leave the NBA to get the same money, I’d say the situations are more similar and not similar.

He’s either worth the offer or not. He can blow off the QO as well as a 2yr for $4M as some have suggested. I still believe it will cost us more in the long run, if we don’t entice him to come back.

"If you don't have anything good to say, LIE" - Mom

by HighTops on Apr 16, 2009 11:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Let's call him Like Diogu for now

and offer up a “not competing against ourselves this time” offer of $2-3M/year x 2 with team option for the third, maybe a Mikki Moore type deal.

The other question is: yes, he played well given the oppurtunity by Coach Natt at the 11th hour – what will the new Head Coach of the Kings do with him? The guy has a certain effect on Coaches – Indy and Blazers – whereby he may just end up as K9’s new bench mate. If that happens then he isn’t worth the QO.

So before everyone here signs up Like, May 19th needs to happen and a new coaching hire needs to happen.

by betweentheeyes on Apr 17, 2009 1:58 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

bte has it I think

The same thoughts/#s are in my mind for Bjax. A lot depends on the coach and the draft. (maybe reverse that)

So imitate the action of the tiger!.
- lend the eye a terrible aspect
and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii

by lietothegirls on Apr 17, 2009 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think you have to weight them equally

I say that depending on the talent available at your lower picks (and who you take with the higher pick of course), but also how much that coach wants to deal with Beno. Beno is locked up for the next 3 years, and the 4th year is a player option.

But the coach matters too because having Bobby as a 3rd option here might be the type of thing the coach feels essential with potentially a very young team similar to Portland. Just having a guy whose been there & done that, and will bring it in practice, will be good for the team. What he can’t do is produce is give you more than 5 or 10 minutes every once in awhile.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 18, 2009 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's an important point 214 (about how important any of this was given that Hawes did hurt his knee)

Would Ike had even played many garbage minutes had Spencer NOT hurt his knee? I mean, not if you’re Kenny Natt. You play Spencer & JT those minutes. Maybe you play Ike off the bench, but that’s about it. You certainly don’t give him 80+ minutes over the last 2 games.

Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Apr 18, 2009 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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