The Five Stages Of A Geoff Petrie Draft Pick

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WTF?!? John Wallace is on the board and we drafted Freedrag Toy-whose-a-vich?

During the Griffin/Rubio draft board recap, I traded back and forth with otis29 about breathlessly anticipating the StR draft day thread after Geoff Petrie drafts someone other than Griffin or Rubio with a top two pick. Simply, the threads that followed the drafting of Spencer Hawes and Jason Thompson were classics. One StR member jumped off the Burg Dubai upon the Hawes selection, while the JT thread (which had to be extended not once, not twice, but three times) was bounced around the web as some of the funniest/saddest/angriest draft conversation in the history of Al Gore’s internet.

Petrie hasn’t had a lot of lottery picks over the years, but the ones that he has had have often been unconventional.

  • In 1994, Petrie had his first lottery pick, and he spent it on (then) small school product Brian Grant. Drafting small school players in the top ten was not quite yet in vogue, and larger school products such as Eric Montross, Jalen Rose and Khalid Reeves were still on the board. Not a major stretch, but early proof that Geoff Petrie would not follow the standard line when it came to draft picks.

  • 1995 was the selection of Corliss Williamson at #13. This was really no reach, as Williamson had been projected much higher in 1994 before he elected to return to school. Good, solid, no nonsense pick.

  • 1996 was the Peja pick, which was roundly booed at the draft party at ARCO Arena. The crowd favorite was John Wallace out of Syracuse, and Kentucky products Tony Delk and Walter McCarty were also popular choices. Can you imagine the thread had StR been up and running in ’96?

  • 1997 was Olivier Saint-Jean (Tariq Abdul-Wahad), a freakish athlete out of San Jose. Some liked Kentucky’s Derek Anderson, while others would have opted for Michigan’s Mo Taylor. Not a great pick in retrospect, but again a bit unconventional.

  • 1998 – Jason freakin’ Williams. Some kid that had a lot of flash on what little tape there was of him, since he was booted off his Florida team for imbibing in weed. Paul Pierce and Michael Doleac were both thought to be safer picks. The pick contributed to GP’s exodus from the lottery for the next several years.

  • 2007 – Spencer Hawes was not a surprising pick, nor was he really a reach. In fact, many mock drafts had Hawes landing in Sacramento. But many of the locals would have preferred Al Thornton, Al Bundy, or Al Davis over the Washington product.

  • 2008 – Jason Thompson. I mean, come on! We knew that he had worked out in Sacramento, but we figured that was tied to the 2nd round picks. Pick any one of a dozen guys that were thought to be coming here other than JT. Thompson wasn’t even invited to be in the green room at the draft.

Bottom line, Geoff Petrie can surprise people with his picks. And while I cannot imagine in a million years that he would pass on Griffin and/or Rubio to draft someone else, we must prepare our collective psyche’s for the unimaginable.

Inspired by otis29’s comments and draft threads past, I present the five stages of a Geoff Petrie draft picks:

DENIAL – “He didn’t draft that guy, did he?” “There is no way; they must have effed up the announcement.” “I’m having a nightmare; I just have to make myself wake up.”

ANGER – “F*ckin’ Maloofs! Now they have their noses in the draft!” “I’m done – where is my old Kareem jersey?” “I’m going out, and I won’t be back until I find a neighborhood cat to torment.”

BARGAINING – “Hey, we can change the pick as long as the next team hasn’t picked yet, right?” “That must have been a pick for another team – there must be a trade in the works. Yeah, that’s it.” “Come on, baby. Wake up…wake up!!!”

DEPRESSION – “I hate my life.” “Gee, maybe whenever we give up 100 points they’ll give out straight razors.” “We’re doomed as doomed can be.”

ACCEPTANCE – “You know, maybe the pick will turn out to be OK.” “GP knows what he’s doing, maybe we got a steal.” “Hmm, I think I’ll Google 2010 NBA mock drafts.”

Please study this easy guide. The 2009 NBA/StR draft day thread is less than two months away, and we don’t need anybody booking trips to Dubai.


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