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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

To D Or Not To D - The Soliloquy

William-shakespeare_medium 

SLAMLET - A monologue from the play by William Shakespeare, as inspired by Another Stupid SN and re-touched by section214.


Star-divide

SLAMLET: To D, or not to D--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The layups and slam dunks of our opponents

Or to take arms against a sea of stat padders

And by opposing end them.

 

To roll over on defense, to cave--

No more--and by Elie to say we end

The heartache, and the thousand embarrassments

That weak defense is heir to. 'Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished.

 

To defend, to care--

To win--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,

For in that depth of defensive effort what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off the majority of our recent rosters,

Must give us pause. There's the lack of respect

That makes calamity of so long life as a Kings fan.

 

For who would bear the whips and scorns of ill-conceived player acquisitions,

Th' coaching staff wrong, the proud man's contumely

The pangs of despised play sets, the offense's delay,

The insolence of the front office, and the spurns

That patient merit of th' cluelessly faithful takes,

When he himself might his 3-point stroke make

With nary a glance of the rim?

 

Who would man-on-man pressure bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary Westphal,

But that the dread of something after defense,

The undiscovered offense, from whose bourn

No traveller goes uncalled, puzzles the fan base,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of – a win streak perchance?

 

Thus Maloof does make losers of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprise of great pitch and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry

And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,

The fair Peaches! -- Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remembered.

 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Comment 19 comments  |  21 recs  | 

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Utterly and Completely Rec’d! For literary excellence!

Founder of team Omté Caspeen

by Widowwolf on Nov 24, 2010 2:46 PM PST reply actions  

Epic Win

linking to this tomorrow AM

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers" Henry V

by Jeff Clark on Nov 24, 2010 5:31 PM PST up reply actions  

you are gonna link to my comment well thank you..I didn’t think it deserves all that though…Just Kidding

Founder of team Omté Caspeen

by Widowwolf on Nov 24, 2010 5:47 PM PST up reply actions  

I'm inspired and I have no idea what half of that said....

Vlade? Vlade? Wherfore art thou Vlade?

"every once in a while a kernel of truth...uhh... corn is revealed in my usual pile of poop" - betweentheeyes

by debrixtha1 on Nov 24, 2010 3:01 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

That patient merit of th’ cluelessly faithful takes,
When he himself might his 3-point stroke make
With nary a glance of the rim?
Soft you now,
The fair Peaches! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

Love it! Rec’d

SBN Bloglist:
The Short Fuse (Arsenal, EPL)
Sactown Royalty (Kings, NBA)

by silverace99 on Nov 24, 2010 3:38 PM PST reply actions  

An instant classic - I was starting to believe that the Kings defense had gone Yorick on Coach Westphal.

You did Dubby Shakes proud. You be Bard-ing like a mo-fo. (I can’t match your prose, so I am putting my good education to waste)

by betweentheeyes on Nov 24, 2010 3:40 PM PST reply actions  

This is StR

Is it Yorick, Yourick, or You’reick?

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Nov 25, 2010 9:28 AM PST up reply actions  

Yorick

Made far more sense than the origanal ever did but I’m certain that Peaches and nymph.should never ever be in the.same line. Ever.

It’s the players job to keep the coach happy, not the coach’s job to keep the player happy. - Paul Westphal quoted from The Purple Panjandrum

by Bluejohn on Nov 25, 2010 11:56 AM PST via mobile up reply actions  

OT: Brockman will start for MIL on Friday in place of the injured Bogut.

This will be his first start of the year.

"Thank you, Coach (Theus). I'm about to kill y'all this half." --DeMarcus Cousins

by Juan Primo on Nov 24, 2010 3:45 PM PST reply actions  

And Ime Udoka is back with the Spurs.

"Thank you, Coach (Theus). I'm about to kill y'all this half." --DeMarcus Cousins

by Juan Primo on Nov 24, 2010 3:46 PM PST up reply actions  

not that it isn't site-relevant

but aren’t you being a bit off topic

SBN Bloglist:
The Short Fuse (Arsenal, EPL)
Sactown Royalty (Kings, NBA)

by silverace99 on Nov 24, 2010 3:48 PM PST up reply actions  

As always: Brilliant!

EvilCowtownInc: Screwin Suckaz over since 1985...... On Twitter

No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

by pookeyguru on Nov 24, 2010 10:04 PM PST reply actions  

I say to D...

so stay with Donte, Luther, Reke, Carl, and Dally…

by getPGwithbounce on Nov 24, 2010 10:38 PM PST reply actions  

Just wow

Fucking amazing. I wish I could rec it 10 more times.

"Oh, hello Mater. Um...sorry about pulling the plug on you and all. Who would've thought you'd pull through...and live...for another five decades? Boy, is my face red!"

by Christina_J on Nov 25, 2010 12:38 AM PST reply actions  

Hassan Whiteside

Hassan Whiteside is the best chance of adding defensive presence on the floor. Play Whiteside and Dalembert on the floor together and let’s see how many layups and dunks other teams can get.

by swooshrc on Nov 25, 2010 9:17 AM PST reply actions  

And how many points we score

now that’s a fun exercise!

" 1 + 1 = 3 " - David Kahn

by Shizzo on Nov 25, 2010 3:43 PM PST up reply actions  

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