Caroling a la Kings
by section214 on Dec 22, 2010 6:36 PM PST
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"And I want a perimeter shooter that can consistently stick the three." "You'll shoot your eye out, kid."
(I was saving this for Christmas Eve, but you all sound like you could use a little "Caroling up.")
Hark, as Harold Pressley Sings
Hark, as Harold Pressley sings,
These are not your old school Kings.
Though your heart for victory yearns,
At least you’re not watching Evers Burns.
The slogan may be Here We Rise,
While the fans moan towards the skies,
With Cuz in the post proclaim,
Lose and Westphal is to blame.
Hark, as Harold Pressley sings,
These are not your old school Kings.
I’m Dreaming of a Whiteside Christmas
I’m dreaming of a Whiteside Christmas,
Just like the ones I’d like to know.
Where Carl is traded, and Sam downgraded,
Because our current team does blow.
I’m dreaming of a Whiteside Christmas,
Just like the ones I pray to see.
His potential beckons, in spite of fouls by the seconds,
Under E-Muss he will surely flee.
I’m dreaming of a Whiteside Christmas,
With every thread post that I write.
Can a Kings fan’s soul be filled with pride?
Perhaps if this Christmas is Whiteside.
The Dreidel Westphal Song
I have a coach named Westphal,
His rotations made of clay.
And when he’s good and ready,
Then maybe I will play.
Oh, Westphal, Westphal, Westphal,
Will I play or will I sit?
I’ve taken off my warm-ups,
And my Menorah’s surely lit.
I think I’m going in now,
But coach has other plans,
It looks like JT at the three,
To the chagrin of the fans.
Oh, Westphal, Westphal, Westphal,
I’m driven to distraction.
It’s going to be bad news
When Israel takes action.
My legs are cramping up now,
From sitting on the bench.
I must say my Coach Westphal
Is certainly no mensch.
Oh, Westphal, Westphal, Westphal,
You make me want to fight,
But then I guess it could be worse,
I could be Antoine Wright.
Happy holidays, everyone!
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Haha Awesome Section
This did make me feel a little better I guess…
I hope you guys aren't trying to have me get a virus, thats f'd up - MarcusC
lol
I wish I was such a mighty craftsman with words. Great post, Section!
"Where I come from, being a fan isn’t measured by how many posts you make on a blog, or how much of a condescending jackass you can be, so take the disrespectful internet-cool-guy routine that you love to employ and shove it." ~ lchristmas
by M. Thai on Dec 22, 2010 6:47 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Oh, wow.
I love you.
In these times, you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
~Carl Sandburg
Elie, the Red-nosed assistant coach...
Ain’t shit that rhymes with that, no flow at all.
Happy holidays, section! and thanks for the creativity!
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen. And for a limited time, every third person who follows me on Twitter (andy_sims) gets a free ice cream cone.
Which I will eat.
by andy sims on Dec 22, 2010 6:57 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
A few too many drinks and a chronic roach?
Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?
...had a very shiny dome,
and if you ever saw him,
pulled over on the way home.
All of the other coaches,
used to dance and shout with glee,
Elie the red-nosed assistant coach
just had his third martini.
…and so on…
SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!
by section214 on Dec 22, 2010 7:44 PM PST up reply actions 6 recs
Oh, you are the winner, sir. And in honor of the title, enjoy this:
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen. And for a limited time, every third person who follows me on Twitter (andy_sims) gets a free ice cream cone.
Which I will eat.
I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down...
Sound the trumpets, Raise the drawbridge, and drop the Oldsmobile
by Balky Needs on Dec 23, 2010 10:22 AM PST up reply actions
Just put in a tech ticket
Requesting an ultra-rec button. This deserves it.
by Tom Ziller on Dec 22, 2010 8:25 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Great stuff Section.
I actually like your Elie song the best and suggest adding it to the post.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Petrie came to say,
MaRio with your nose so clean,
won’t you guide this horrible team,
then all of the coaches loved him,
as the shouted out with glee,
we will do what ever you say coach,
as long as you don’t fire me.
The world is not your Trade Machine.
-Ziller
by jjham15 on Dec 22, 2010 8:49 PM PST reply actions 5 recs
On Eric! On Andres!! On Antoine!!!
SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!
by section214 on Dec 22, 2010 10:02 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
The Casspi song is pure win.
Thanks section, I needed this.
Dip til I rip
by Muff209 on Dec 22, 2010 8:56 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Purple Cowbells
Purple Cowbells
take the lead today
O how much fun it is then to give the game away, hey!
Purple Cowbells
Purple Cowbells
Kings won’t be playing in May
“Oh boy!” how much I miss the glory days, hey!
"You can have the knowledge that a tomato is a fruit, but it takes wisdom not to put it in a fruit salad." -Jerry Reynolds
Thank you section !
Always finding ways to make us feel better . And a true wordsmith. Merry christmas sir.
Section Thanks for Making it Fun Again!
Dropping a version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” early too – it’s just too damn long to giterdun. Someone please run with the rest if so inclined to take the initiative!
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all throughout Arco
Not a creature was stirring, not even a narco (leptic)
The nets were hung on the hoops with care
In hopes that St. Hope Acadamy would bring nba talent to bear
The Kings were nestled all snug in their suites,
While visions of trophies consumed them like treats
And Westphal in his suit, and Ellie in his tie
Had just laid it down in the form of Humble Pie
When out on the court there arose such a ruckus
Petrie sprang from his bed to see if another draft pick had f*cked us.
Down to the court he drove quite uncertain
Tore open the gates and threw up the curtain
The moon on the breast of the new-chosen King
With the lustre of watches, jewelry, and Bling
When, what to his wondering eyes should insist,
But a miniature point guart, reg’ing eight tiny assists.
With a little old coach, so lively and chill
He knew in a moment it must be Carill
by convoy on Dec 22, 2010 10:49 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
The Kings record may be coal and switches
But this is a gift wrapped gem of joy for us fans. Thanks Section.
by betweentheeyes on Dec 22, 2010 10:53 PM PST reply actions
Dribbling Balls (Basketballs you pervs)
Dribbling Balls (Edited by LPA)
Beno Udrih knows what’s coming,
As he inbounds the ball.
In the air
There’s a sense of
Depression.
Casspi crying.
Cousins dying.
Cisco camped at the line.
In the stands every fan knows they’ll hear.
Dribbling balls, dribbling balls
It’s Evans time on the hardwood
Udrih calls, Tyreke stalls
When will he cross the half court?
See him wander
As he ponders
Should he jack up a three?
Or drive straight into
Five set defenders?
Whether leaning,
Or careening,
This is Evan’s big scene
And passing’s not part of the
Blueprint
Dribbling balls, dribbling balls
It’s Evans time on the hardwood
Five, four, three . . . does he see
That soon the clock will expire?
"This season is another learning process for this team. There is no segment of the schedule that looms larger than the sum of the season, in my opinion."
Section 214
by SavageBeast on Dec 23, 2010 10:16 AM PST reply actions 7 recs
Boo.
Too depressing…but well done. Grudgingly rec’d.
In these times, you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
~Carl Sandburg
Yeah
It was the Grinch in me. I’ll do one with a happy ending soon! :)
Great idea, Section!
"This season is another learning process for this team. There is no segment of the schedule that looms larger than the sum of the season, in my opinion."
Section 214
by SavageBeast on Dec 23, 2010 12:37 PM PST up reply actions
The Westphal Songs is hilarious
All of them were great, but that one is fantastic.
Thanks for the St. Nik Caner Medleys, everyone.
Stay focused, and stay away from unknown females.
by swoosh91 on Dec 23, 2010 6:08 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I gave Joy to the World the royal treatment before I left for the game tonight, so I would have a carol ready when we won.
But I’m not feeling very joyful. I think posting it would just depress me even more.
In these times, you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
~Carl Sandburg
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