Meet Joey Dorsey
by Tom Ziller on Feb 18, 2010 1:53 PM PST
in Commentary
Email
PrintJoey Dorsey is one of three new Kings today. (Larry Hughes doesn't count. Larry Hughes never counts.) I asked Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm, NBA FanHouse and Pro Basketball Talk -- a D-League maven -- to share a few words about Dorsey. Enjoy. -- TZ
***
Oh, hey, look, an underdeveloped, raw big man with lots of muscle and questionable coordination! JUST WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
Dorsey's time in the D-League was really quite good for him. RGV [Rio Grande Valley, Dorsey's D-League team] is not like your usual D-League team where they warm themselves through fires in their hotel rooms, cuddling late at night and occasionally eating the latest local "free agent" that joins. The Rockets have a dedicated staff in RGV to monitor progress and mold the players to what they want. Half of the Rockets have spent time in RGV, and Dorsey got a ton out of it. You know, like any of your last ten draft picks besides Evans could have used. He lost a lot of baby fat and gained a lot of muscle in the right places. Rebounding is what they focused him on, and he was beastly. There are four types of guys in the D-League: guys who are there for the coaches to pick on, guys signed because of local appeal to sell tickets, guys who are long-term projects but have some talent, and guys who are obviously and profoundly better than the talent around them, but need to focus on what the NBA team in question wants from them. Dorsey is the latter. He just threw guys around this year. He's got an obsessive approach to the rebounding, like he blames the ball for sticking him in McAllen, Texas.
Think of him as a Blair-like entity with a lower basketball IQ and that has actual knees. Both of them. He came into the league as one of those long, athletic bigs that Calipari turns out, and now he's more like a Brahma.
Maybe the best thing about him is that he's been broken of all the instincts most Memphis guys come with: that is, the myth that they are legit scorers. He's been torn down by the Rockets system into believing he should simply kill the ball, get putbacks, then do the same again. He's also got a mean streak when provoked. He got thrown out of a Summer League game. Personally, I look forward to the day when his teammates walk in to find him gnawing on Spencer's spinal cord. "Oh, hey guys! What? We do this all the time in RGV. What? WHAT?!"
60 comments
|
2 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Nice read
Very entertaining. Let me guess though – the guy is extremely raw on the offensive side of the ball?
"You know what I consider mentally weak? Using your audience to settle a grudge with someone who had the audacity to publicly call you on your sh*t. The only thing more offensive is that Napear thinks we're all too stupid to see it for what it is." - TZ, Sactown Royalty
Wait and see.
We have 29 games left, no sense letting anyone play 40 minutes a night, let’s see what we have here.
I still feel like with a lot of work, Brockman could be pretty reliable out to 15 feet as a shooter, and I’m hoping we may see the same potential in Dorsey.
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.
I know next to nothing about McGuire, aside from he seems to get boards when he gets minutes.
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.
Someone needs to make sure Dorsey and Brockman are kept away from eachother
They’d be like two pit bulls going at it
(insert your own Michael Vick joke here)
www.mancancook.net
by vfettke on Feb 18, 2010 1:58 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
No kidding...
I just imagine a scenario where Dorsey reports to the Kings and is being introduced to the players in the locker room.
He and Brockman lock eyes, cautiously approach each other and begin sniffing deeply. Then, a series of grunts and chest thumps are exchanged. They back up, run full-speed at each other and buck heads like Rocky Mountain Sheep.
Once they awaken from their concussion-induced slumbers, they hug and become best friends…but still engage in weekly displays of alpha male behavior and dominance.
"If you told him to head-butt the wall, he would do it." -- Paul Westphal re: Brockness Monster.
by PhutureKings on Feb 18, 2010 2:05 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
I'm gonna go super geek on ya
I believe there was a time when Wolverine and Sabertooth had to team up for some reason in the comic books. Brockman and Dorsey could be like that. An uneasy alliance but a fierce tandem. They should start every game and just beat up on guys until the foul out in the fourth quarter. Wouldn’t that be an awesome tactic? Say we’re playing Orlando, everytime the ball goes in to Howard they just mob him as hard as possible; wear him out in the first quarter. It’d be fantastic
www.mancancook.net
by vfettke on Feb 18, 2010 2:09 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
This Dorsey Vs. Brockman stuff is making me giggle like a schoolgirl
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:19 PM PST up reply actions
It's making me throw up like a panda.
I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practise law.
That was indeed super geek
( I think I vaguely remember it)
So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii
by lietothegirls on Feb 18, 2010 4:24 PM PST up reply actions
I think they'll be okay as long as they can agree upon their respective "trophies"
i.e. Dorsey gets teeth and fingers and Brockman gets ears and scalps.
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:25 PM PST up reply actions
He deserves a cut of the $4mil the Wizards get in luxury tax payments
www.mancancook.net
by vfettke on Feb 18, 2010 2:10 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
a woman has pulled the
“you lost me at hello” line on him and his teammates have called him “show me the money” a bunch of times.
link from draft express
the skinny:
High School: Lincoln
Hometown: San Diego, Calif.
Drafted: Rnd 2, Pick 17 in 2007 by Wizards
Best Case: Danny Granger
Worst Case: Renaldo Balkman
by betweentheeyes on Feb 18, 2010 2:18 PM PST up reply actions
You complain about Chapu...
http://heylarryhughespleasestoptakingsomanybadshots.com/
"Oh, y ahora ¿quién podrá defenderme?" "¡Yo!"
No, we hate Hughes much more
Nobody hates Noce (I think) we just think he should be somewhere else.
So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii
by lietothegirls on Feb 18, 2010 4:25 PM PST up reply actions
I love Noce
in any uniform but the Kings, and the F*kers, he and Chapu deserve better than that Dantes inferno.
Me Too.
He could end up being a very nice defensive compliment to our team.
Blessings.Love.Peace
by lifestyleforthesellout on Feb 18, 2010 2:18 PM PST up reply actions
Is it wrong if I nickname Dorsey "Black Brockman"?
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:20 PM PST reply actions
Just call him "Black Scotsman" and let people wrestle with that.
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.
Let's just nickname the tandem
Dorckman.
"If you told him to head-butt the wall, he would do it." -- Paul Westphal re: Brockness Monster.
by PhutureKings on Feb 18, 2010 2:22 PM PST up reply actions 7 recs
Are you trying to get murdered?
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:26 PM PST up reply actions
I had to do some work today
So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii
by lietothegirls on Feb 18, 2010 4:26 PM PST up reply actions
One rec closer to green
"You know what I consider mentally weak? Using your audience to settle a grudge with someone who had the audacity to publicly call you on your sh*t. The only thing more offensive is that Napear thinks we're all too stupid to see it for what it is." - TZ, Sactown Royalty
I'd call him Fudd.
I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practise law.
Bigfoot
and the Brock Ness Monster
When life gives you lemons, just say "f--- the lemons" and bail
by CaliforniaJag on Feb 18, 2010 5:19 PM PST up reply actions
This reminds me...
of that time in Mighty Ducks 2, where they added Dean Portman who at first clashed with Fulton Reed from the first movie but then they became known as the “Bash Brothers.”
Banned
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:26 PM PST up reply actions
Bash Brothers
This was exactly what I was thinking reading when reading this.
When is Iceland on the schedule?
(Who’s the cake eater?)
Seriously though, if this article is even remotely accurate
I’d be willing to pay a pretty penny to get into some Kings practices to watch Dorsey and Brockman fight each other for rebounds. They’ll start referring to the practice facility as “The Octagon”.
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 2:34 PM PST reply actions
The picture for this article is great
because it makes Dorsey seem shorter than Rudy Gay, which would almost be accurate. Isn’t the book on Dorsey, athletic, high intensity, no skills and way to short?
I thought he got to the pre-draft stuff and people were shocked how short he was?
What we've got here is, failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach.
He's a rebounding beast, shot blocker, incredibly strong.
Think Ben Wallace with smaller hair, and you’re close.
Significant gravitas shortfall expected in 2010.
I just remember Dorsey pushing around Kevin Love in the 2008 Final Four.
Hopefully, he’ll become our Rick Mahorn, just a shorter version.
This shit had me rolling:
Personally, I look forward to the day when his teammates walk in to find him gnawing on Spencer’s spinal cord. “Oh, hey guys! What? We do this all the time in RGV. What? WHAT?!”
Welcome to Sactown, Brahma Bull!
33 Wins. Yeah, I said it.
When Dorsey was in the draft, I was pulling for the Kings to draft him in the 2nd round
It’s nice to see him here. His game reminds me of Ben Wallace. If polished right, he could potentially be a force, but it’s a bit of a long shot.
You guys are free to do what you want, of course,
but our nickname for Joey Dorsey was The Kraken. As in “Release THE KRAKEN!”
Also, do you guys have good strip clubs in Sacramento? Joey’s gonna want to know. Soon.
Significant gravitas shortfall expected in 2010.
Oh, Dorsey is fond of gorilla dunks. Make sure he gets plenty.
Significant gravitas shortfall expected in 2010.
If by "good strip clubs" you mean ones with lots of naked women in them
then yes, we have those.
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 9:05 PM PST up reply actions
Oh, and he might be interested to know
that these are actual Kings dancers
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 18, 2010 9:43 PM PST up reply actions
Do you have pictures from a dancers house party or something?
…
SHARE!
When life gives you lemons, just say "f--- the lemons" and bail
by CaliforniaJag on Feb 18, 2010 9:57 PM PST up reply actions
Big story from a couple of years ago
that is fondly revisited here occasionally. You can just do a Google Image search for “Kings dancers” and you’ll find them all, and they’re all real.
"Sometimes the capriciousness of youth anesthetizes common sense." -Let Geoff's words guide our patience this season.
by AnotherStupidSN on Feb 19, 2010 8:39 AM PST up reply actions
Joey would approve.
It just shows the quality of the Kings organization. Plus you have that whole casino thing to draw on.
Significant gravitas shortfall expected in 2010.
This never gets old...
"If you told him to head-butt the wall, he would do it." -- Paul Westphal re: Brockness Monster.
by PhutureKings on Feb 19, 2010 12:28 AM PST up reply actions
That's an outstanding nickname, but Jerry Reynolds will probably go with "Dorsey the Horsey" or something
When life gives you lemons, just say "f--- the lemons" and bail
by CaliforniaJag on Feb 18, 2010 9:16 PM PST up reply actions
Oh the Dorsal Fin, Strip Clubs and Sacramento
Imagine the possibilities….
No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....
'm not sure Donald Sterling is a human being. He had to have been manufactured by someone, possibly David Stern, so that one team could solely just make profit for the NBA while doing nothing good for themselves. -- Aykis 16
Dorsal Fin is strong.
Search the Dreamshake for Dave’s recounting of the adventures of Joey. All guaranteed to be possibly true,
Significant gravitas shortfall expected in 2010.
I already did that Xiane.
I linked to that on EC.
No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....
'm not sure Donald Sterling is a human being. He had to have been manufactured by someone, possibly David Stern, so that one team could solely just make profit for the NBA while doing nothing good for themselves. -- Aykis 16
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
NBA Playoffs Content Module
Related FanPosts on Sactown Royalty
Related FanShots on Sactown Royalty
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recent FanPosts
In Association With
Ball Don't Lie - NBA - Yahoo! Sport
- Shaquille O’Neal is in a Chinese beer commercial, too (VIDEO)
- ‘Deep Thoughts’ and Cheap Thoughts: San Antonio Spurs vs. Oklahoma City Thunder
- C-a-C: This is probably as close to LeBron James working with John Waters as we’ll ever get
- Dwyane Wade’s hot pink pants: The kind of thing you can get away with when you drop 41
- Lamar Odom to New York? Dwight Howard on the move? For now, it’s all talk
