FanPost

Where is Dalt?

SACRAMENTO - Sacramento police have confirmed that a missing persons report has been filed for Dalt's Pre-Draft Analysis, which has gone missing in 2010.

"We don't normally send out APBs for web postings," Sacramento police chief Rick Braziel said in a statement. "But damn it, the draft is only four days away. I need to know if he likes DeMarcus Cousins or Greg Monroe."

Dalt99's pre-draft analysis has been one of the most highly-anticipated annual posts on Sactown Royalty, commanding very high Rec's and occasional front page placement. He uses regression analysis and a bunch of other complicated stuff that only he is smart enough to understand in order to create an unprecedentedly insightful ranking system that John Hollinger only wishes he had thought of first.

"Last year he liked Ty Lawson," Sactown Royalty's grand poobah Tom Ziller confirmed. "And according to advanced situational statistics and the fact that Voisin hates Lawson, I'd say that has really panned out."

His analysis has even won him fans among the supposed journalists at the Sacramento Bee.

"Yeah, I could do that," sportswriter Jason Jones acknowledged, sporting a "Kobe 4 Eva" tank top. "But who has that kind of time? MR. JONES, BABY!! Oh. I thought you asked what you should call me." 

Dalt has promised in past threads that his post would be up soon, but Sactown Royatly loyalists are losing hope that the posts will come in time for Thursday's NBA Draft, one of the most exciting and hilarious days of the year for the site.

"If he doesn't have it up soon I seriously may lose it," Sactown Royalty's Pookeyguru said. "Wait, what were we talking about again?"

"I've got a Simpsons GIF ready to go," Section214 confirmed. "And it is going to blow your freaking mind."

And when asked if he was looking forward to Dalt's post and was dearly worried about its whereabouts, Sactown Royatly veteran Andy Sims simply nodded and said, "This."

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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