The 2010 NBA draft is a fading memory, but I will not go as easily. The rumbling beneath your feet is not an illusion. The earth shakes, a tombstone rattles, a coffin awakens, and the wet earth splits. Unceremoniously buried, and left for dead, a hand beckons hauntingly through the damp soil....
...and air returns to my lungs! And life to my body! Through the muck and the mud, the Blob lives! Gasping for fresh breath, my faint pulse growing stronger, healing blood courses my veins, adrenalin fills every cell. I am baaaaaaaack!!!!
The Blob is unstoppable, omnipotent, omniscient, scouring the Blog Nation, to rattle your senses, shock your reality, just like a DMC rim rattling dunk, and leave all doubtful naysayers quivering in his wake.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
The Blob guarantees his Top 5 picks, just as he guarantees his hot wretched breath upon your neck when you least expect it, whispering in the still darkness the free agent the Kings will sign in July.
Listen closely, you have been forewarned. Disbelieve at your own risk, naive StR mortal. The sweat upon your palm is real, the mouse quivers in your hand. Think twice before another foolhardy point and click! Open your ears, still your pounding heart, the Blob foreshadows all in the name of purple and black...
Get close and mark my words, dear Reke-loving earthling. The Blob has returned from the nether regions with NBA wisdom beyond reproach, dirt underneath his nails, grime and grit between rolls of hot flesh, to enlighten and unnerve with each prophetic syllable:
The Kings were dead and buried two years ago, a 17-win corpse of a team. To the rest of the NBA, the Kings coffin was nailed shut and put six feet under ground for unforeseeable future. Hope and fortunes were in a terminal state. But life force would not fade permanently. Fatal conditions reversed, and the Kings awoke from deaths grip. With Tyreke, DMC and Co., and Nate lurking in the shadows, our team is back.
Like the Blob, the Kings rise again!
The Blob clears mucus from his throat, spits vigorously upon his upturned grave, and declares with an uproar on behalf of the Kings, and his own indestructible body and spirit:
Pronouncements of our demise were hastily premature!