Jon Brockman Haiku
by Tom Ziller on Jul 20, 2010 7:52 AM PDT
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PrintIt seems Sacramento is still really torn up about losing Jon Brockman. I mean, Mike Bibby, Peja Stojakovic and Spencer Hawes didn't get this type of emotional outpouring ... combined. We need to work out our feelings.
The Rise Guys read a Brockman haiku this morning, and I find that's a perfect solution. Post your best effort, and rec your favorite submissions. That which has the most recs will be slapped on the front page this evening. My effort after the jump.
Oh, Mr. Mancakes,
you played like a drunk rhino,
crashed into our hearts.
111 comments
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Nessie awakens
And players part like water
Farewell mighty beast
"And I never said I don’t like KMart. I just don’t think the duo is good for the team. They are essentially two of the same player"
Sammyp831.
by SavageBeast on Jul 20, 2010 8:09 AM PDT reply actions 23 recs
From the stormy west
Milwaukee’s fearsome monster
Brockness. Former King.
StR Token Female
by LeaguePassAddict on Jul 20, 2010 8:22 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs
Oh, Brockness Monster
Setting sights for the Great Lakes
Midwest IHOPs cheer
by clicc916 on Jul 20, 2010 8:24 AM PDT reply actions 9 recs
Brockness, Mancakes, Hoss,
You went by many names
Your leaving Sacramento sucks
Purveyor of Bull Plop
LOL
“haiku fail”
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions
You kicked some asses
You took down some fucking names
Sac won’t be the same
I didn't major in Common F-cking Sense, but ...
by MustangMBS on Jul 20, 2010 8:26 AM PDT reply actions 8 recs
Silliness.
I mean, Mike Bibby, Peja Stojakovic and Spencer Hawes didn’t get this type of emotional outpouring … combined.
Why is Spencer in the same sentence as those other two, and how can you judge the emotional outpouring of the city. The Internet grows daily. Sorry. I wish JB well, but refuse to participate in the foolishness.
Don't say stupid shit. You won’t be perceived as stupid. - pookeyguru
Kfan will not play
He mocks the powers that be
Repent you hater
"And I never said I don’t like KMart. I just don’t think the duo is good for the team. They are essentially two of the same player"
Sammyp831.
by SavageBeast on Jul 20, 2010 8:34 AM PDT up reply actions 15 recs
V
"Dodger fans aren’t happy when foul balls get into their section, because it interferes with their playing with the beachball"- Mike Krukow
*Very Nice
"Dodger fans aren’t happy when foul balls get into their section, because it interferes with their playing with the beachball"- Mike Krukow
And to think
You could have just ignored it completely!
by otis29 on Jul 20, 2010 8:54 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Sorry, sir Kfan.
Didn’t mean to anger you.
Care for some pancakes?
by Tom Ziller on Jul 20, 2010 8:59 AM PDT up reply actions 11 recs
Funny you should bring this up ...
According to noted author Robert Anton Wilson:
Joseph Simonton of Eagle River, Wisconsin, claims that a flying saucer landed in his back yard one day and an extraterrestrial got out and gave him some pancakes.
There were no other witnesses to this remarkable occurrence, so it is certainly tempting to say that Simonton must have been hallucinating. There is no reason to think that he was consciously perpetrating a hoax, however. He has not tried to commercialize on his encounter in any way and seems to be baffled by the whole experience, just as you would be.
Dr. J. Allen Hynek, a skeptical astronomer, who explained other UFOs as “swamp gas,” was sent by the Air Force to investigate the Simonton mindfuck. Dr. Hynek took some of the damnable pancakes back to the Dayton Air Force base, where the UFO investigation is headquartered, and scientists there determined that the pancakes were perfectly normal and contained nutritious wheat germ […].
#52
I'm pretty sure i was more upset with Gerald Wallace leaving than Spence
by The Guy on the Couch on Jul 20, 2010 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions
Kings were so good that
G-Dub was unprotected
In expansion draft.
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Nothing personal, Kfan ;)
Kfan got no love
Won’t write haiku for Brockman,
Quit being a bitch.
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
The Brockness Monster,
Spencer Hawes wanted you here.
You took his place….WIN
And that's wassup.
by Sacramento_Strong on Jul 20, 2010 8:31 AM PDT reply actions
Practice will suffer
Somewhere IHOP is weeping
Melancholy bench
by Mityt on Jul 20, 2010 8:32 AM PDT via mobile reply actions 3 recs
Death and destruction
Rebounds, rebounds, and rebounds
Simply put: Brockman
#vfettkefordraft
by vfettke on Jul 20, 2010 8:34 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs
Never fake hustles
Always hungry for the win
He’ll eat your short stack
#vfettkefordraft
by vfettke on Jul 20, 2010 8:37 AM PDT reply actions 5 recs
Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble
He’ll Knock that sandwich from your hand
Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble
Darko Milicec passes just as well as Vlade Divac... Vlade would be the first to tell you that
by prowseinthehouse on Jul 20, 2010 8:44 AM PDT reply actions
whoops
too early… mixed up words with syllables
Darko Milicec passes just as well as Vlade Divac... Vlade would be the first to tell you that
by prowseinthehouse on Jul 20, 2010 9:23 AM PDT up reply actions
I am not great at haikus so I'll just write a short rhyming poem.
Jon would get that rebound
Even if it took him to the ground
He would get up, and start looking around
For another ball to rebound
"Morrison beats Casspi 1 on 1". - MarcusC
by Surprise Team on Jul 20, 2010 8:46 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Jon Brockman lacked size
Space left by his size was filled
With hustle and heart .
by rc360 on Jul 20, 2010 8:49 AM PDT reply actions 9 recs
Jason Jones called him
Athletic probably for
the first time ever
holdin' it down for the bay from upper westside manhattan
by SamYam on Jul 20, 2010 8:50 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
First, Kraken released
Now, Brockness Monster traded
Mythical beasts gone
Never forget: I am a complete idiot
by Exhibit G on Jul 20, 2010 8:52 AM PDT reply actions 12 recs
All hope is not lost
Now we have the boogie man
A mythical dude
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions
A legend is told
Of a rebounding monster
From the murky depths
"We're not talking about me and Darko in the same sentence." - Chris Webber vs KAHN!
by caseycheesecake on Jul 20, 2010 9:03 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Cakes of man you served
As fluffy as an anvil
falling on one’s balls
Rebounds? What the hell?
We shoot, we miss. Run away!
Brockman changed the style.
The thing that hurts most
is that we’ll never see you
pimp The Good Feet Store
Rocks are free, and slingshots easily stolen.
by andy sims on Jul 20, 2010 9:06 AM PDT reply actions 11 recs
Draft changes outlook
Role player without a role
Now fear the NEW deer
by IamPurple on Jul 20, 2010 9:15 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Six Seven so short
Outhustled Hawes and others
For boards and our hearts
huh? wha?
by effin steve on Jul 20, 2010 9:22 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Missed shots meet your hands
like pancakes meet your stomach
and the sun meets sky.
"If you're going to lead the orchestra, you have to turn your back on the audience." -Geoff Petrie
by AnotherStupidSN on Jul 20, 2010 9:23 AM PDT reply actions 9 recs
a jon brockman sonnet (in iambic pentameter)
He came here one night from a state up north
Part of a trade for some chocolate of spain
Did not take long for him to prove his worth
Throwing his elbows and causing some pain
Grabbed rebounds like they were some sort of drug
He crashed the boards like he needed a fix
Perhaps Sir Mancakes just needed a hug
He would beat the scrum, win out from the mix
Now, the Monster of BrockNess must depart
All for a pick and a man from D-League
We never forget his hustle and heart
His taking Chi-Town like a fierce blitzkrieg
We wish you so much luck at your next stop
I’m sure that Milwaukee has an IHOP
holdin' it down for the bay from upper westside manhattan
by SamYam on Jul 20, 2010 9:23 AM PDT reply actions 15 recs
Brockman Haiku
Knocked down on your ass…?
Rebounds belong to me, pal
How ’bout some pancakes…?
"We're all here because we're not all there..."
by Sacto_J on Jul 20, 2010 9:28 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Winds are shifting east
Fish fry champion is born
Rejoice they feel not
by Mityt on Jul 20, 2010 9:34 AM PDT via mobile reply actions
In Chicago You
Grabbed every 2nd half board
We’ll never forget
The NBA: "Where 27 free throws happens"
by lodisacfan on Jul 20, 2010 9:44 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
“Pancakes!” he bellowed.
The waitress brought them quickly
“Get in my belly!”
#vfettkefordraft
by vfettke on Jul 20, 2010 9:44 AM PDT reply actions 17 recs
Like a long rebound
He harnessed a city’s heart
Now, Brock Ness swims on
by LPKingsFan on Jul 20, 2010 9:50 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs
Your rebounds abound
Hard hat, lunch pail, put-back score
Now part of Kings lore
by Hoops Mike on Jul 20, 2010 9:53 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
From Brock Himself
I may chug syrup
But my advice to Jennings
Is drink Reke’s kool-aid
"I have never seen officiating in a game of consequence as bad as that in Game 6...this officiating took away what would have been a Sacramento series victory in Game 6." -Michael Wilbon, Washington Post
by NeverForget2002 on Jul 20, 2010 9:54 AM PDT reply actions
From Brock Himself
I may chug syrup
But my advice to Jennings
Is drink Reke’s kool-aid
"I have never seen officiating in a game of consequence as bad as that in Game 6...this officiating took away what would have been a Sacramento series victory in Game 6." -Michael Wilbon, Washington Post
by NeverForget2002 on Jul 20, 2010 9:54 AM PDT reply actions
oops
"I have never seen officiating in a game of consequence as bad as that in Game 6...this officiating took away what would have been a Sacramento series victory in Game 6." -Michael Wilbon, Washington Post
by NeverForget2002 on Jul 20, 2010 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions
Goodbye, Mr. Brockman
Reaching rebounds where you soared
You gave the Kings hope
If you want to be your best, you have to do your best, otherwise you are only second rate.
(thanks, Andy, correction)
Goodbye, Mr. Brockman
Reaching rebounds where you soar
You gave the Kings hope
If you want to be your best, you have to do your best, otherwise you are only second rate.
There's also an extra syllable in the second line, though.
There are six syllables in the first line [Mr. is two] and the only way I can see to fix that is Sir Brockman.
But the second line has eight syllables instead of seven. Maybe “reaching rebounds as you soar”?
No, the second line has 7
Reach-ing Re-bounds where you soared
Reaching and rebounds have 2 each. That’s 4. The rest are 1 each. That’s 3. 4+3=7
#vfettkefordraft
this is an impressive thread
Because talent? You want to add a guy like boozer because hes talented? I’m sorry i just don’t see that as a valid reason. -- fffindeed
by wallywagon11 on Jul 20, 2010 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions
Ah, I see. I forgot to count Mr. as two syllables. One more time.
Goodbye, Your Brockness
Reaching rebounds where you soar
You gave the Kings hope
If you want to be your best, you have to do your best, otherwise you are only second rate.
by Slam_Dunk on Jul 20, 2010 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Brock Ness I dubbed thee
Jerry heard and spread the word
Yet Shaq gets credit.
Author of the Pick and Scroll. Follow me on Twitter here.
by Aykis16 on Jul 20, 2010 10:17 AM PDT reply actions 14 recs
=====
Fear the Atlas’ shrug
stomach cold the weary foe
stone and board splinter!
So imitate the action of the tiger!.
Lend the eye a terrible aspect
- and teach them how to war!
Henry V iii
by lietothegirls on Jul 20, 2010 10:24 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Opponents feared you
Only one thing was for certain
Decapitation
Author of the Pick and Scroll. Follow me on Twitter here.
by Aykis16 on Jul 20, 2010 10:25 AM PDT reply actions 9 recs
Heads cracked: 23
Boards grabbed: Twelve per 36
Jon Brockman: Priceless
#vfettkefordraft
by vfettke on Jul 20, 2010 10:29 AM PDT reply actions 8 recs
All things must pass, but
Jon taught us to rebound too.
And rebound we shall.
by furious.d on Jul 20, 2010 11:25 AM PDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
There goes Jon Brockman
Full of piss and vinegar
Sit down Luc-Richard
by furious.d on Jul 20, 2010 11:34 AM PDT via mobile reply actions 3 recs
Brockness Monster myth
Like a grainy photograph
Was he really here?
by kangsfan on Jul 20, 2010 12:12 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Ode to Nessie Haiku
Monster of rebound
He sheds opponents’ blood like
Syrup on pancakes
by Sactown's Finest on Jul 20, 2010 12:13 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Haikus were always too short for me…
You’re a clone on Romes show; Twitter icon above the rest
And you jumped into the stands the right way (Unlike Ron Artest)
You couldn’t win a footrace with Monte
Or a dunk off against Donte
You were paid the minimum in dollars
But you stayed bruising, physical, and blue collar.
The comeback in Chicago; The perfect draft in New York
That time you slaughtered all those pancakes with your fork
The memories have come and gone
In our hearts you’ll stay
But I hope you’ll become a broadcaster
And save us all from Jim Gray
So trade in you pancakes for some sake
And take your talents to Milwaukee
Wherever you go; We will be your fan
His Brockness; the monster; Mr. Jon Brockman
by CrownedPotential on Jul 20, 2010 12:27 PM PDT reply actions 10 recs
Ok this wasn't a haiku
But its amazing. Well done.
Author of the Pick and Scroll. Follow me on Twitter here.
Lake Berryessa
Too small to contain Brockness
Must go to Great Lakes
Ate all the pancakes
He must leave or he will starve
Say hi to Brett Favre
(I realize Favre is no longer w Green Bay, but to me, he’ll always be w Green Bay)
He’ll get more money,
Jennings’ hair looks like Gumby,
Brockman’s no dummy
Brockness was no clown
Was way too much for Chi-Town
Got every rebound
Your work ethic and
Hustle in Spencer’s body
Would be Hawesome shit
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 12:48 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
What I was really going for in that last haiku:
Brockman’s grit and heart
in Hawes’ body would create
Best big man ever
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions
I CAN"T STOP WRITING HAIKUS!!!
Brockman now a Buck,
For us fans that kind of sucks,
But we wish him luck.
Brock’s boards were handy,
But, Cuz, Shock, Dal, and Landry,
Not enough minutes.
We have lots of bigs,
Have not been able to say
That in a long time.
My A.D.D won’t
Let me stop writing haikus
Hope this is the last.
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Not poetry in two forms
Not haiku:
Rebounding with gusto and guile
Mancakes displayed energy and style
“If Jon Brockman were taller
he’d be an illegal baller”
Westphal said with a gleam and a smile
haiku
slam can be a sound
pound can be a measurement
Brockman is action
by betweentheeyes on Jul 20, 2010 12:53 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
He had tree trunk legs
Dominated in the paint
Ate glass, shat awesome
"Cousins is the Blaster to Evans’ Master, the Hammer to Evans’ Sickle"- HP
by tomroadrunner on Jul 20, 2010 1:27 PM PDT reply actions 16 recs
"Ate glass, shat awesome"
Effin rad!
"Put Kobe or Lebron in a wheelchair, and I can GUARANTEE Tyreke would demolish either. You might want to rethink what you just said." -- MarcusC.
by PhutureKings on Jul 20, 2010 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Rec'd for shat
I’m always appreciative when someone increases my vocabulary. Word of the day – shat.
If you want to be your best, you have to do your best, otherwise you are only second rate.
Pancakes and earthquakes
Rebound and make the ground shake
Brockness the Bucks take
by Hoops Mike on Jul 20, 2010 2:35 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Hai-Jew
There once was a man from Snohomish,
whose NBA dreams were his main wish.
His thirst for more action
netted us Darnell Jackson
I think I’d be happier with Matt Fish.
SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!
by section214 on Jul 20, 2010 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
Beast emerged from deep
Creating fear in men’s hearts
Snatching rebounds thus.
"DeMarcus pounds, like the hammer. Tyreke slashes, like the sickle.
For the good of the proletariat!" - tomroadrunner
by Ice_9ine on Jul 20, 2010 4:48 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Kings have new dance team
The rest left with Jon Brockman
It’s hard to blame them
#vfettkefordraft
by vfettke on Jul 20, 2010 4:57 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
My Brockness Haiku...borrowing lines from The Usual Suspects
…a myth…will to do…
…what the other guy wouldn’t…
And like that…he’s gone….
by getPGwithbounce on Jul 20, 2010 6:49 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Ah, Brockness Monster
You gobbled up O-rebounds
as well as pancakes
There can only be one Noce!
by NoceOne on Jul 20, 2010 7:03 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Brockman breaks all rules
Five syllables ain’t enough
Brockman destroys haikus
by gregsactly on Jul 21, 2010 1:19 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Brockness vs. Chuck Norris
Brockness stronger than
cheap vodka and potatoes
stronger than Chuck N.
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.
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