In the alternate dimension in which this blog post resides, Orange County Register columnist/Anaheim Royals booster Randy Youngman chirps in with a guest column on how the NBA's negotiations with Sacramento and AEG for a new arena in Sacramento mean that the Kings are totally moving, like probably tomorrow if not sooner.

Sacramento officials are meeting with a some mysterious arena operator and a random NBA owner today in Dallas with hopes of building an arena. But there's five people missing from the roll call that indicate where the decision on whether the Kings will stay in Sacramento will really be made: Joe Maloof, Gavin Maloof, George Maloof, Phil Maloof and Adrienne Maloof.

The Maloofs won't attend Sacramento's pow wow in Dallas, and that tells you all you need to know about their interest in staying in the capital city. They have none. If a deal on a new arena in Sacramento gets done without the Maloofs, it's because the Maloofs don't plan to remain in Sacramento. They are in love with Anaheim and everything about it.

Disneyland. Disney's California Adventure. Downtown Disney. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The Anaheim Mighty Ducks. My face. Adrienne Maloof's closest frenemies. The Maloofs are in love with Anaheim, and they can't wait to get here, and they are willing to railroad the city of Sacramento and all of its best intentions to pack the vans.

The only thing that the NBA can do to prevent the Maloofs from destroying the Sacramento deal is to keep them as far away from it as possible. Which is ... kinda what it ... looks like ... they ... have ... done. Ohhh.

Nevermind. 

Thanks again to Randy Youngman!