-Utah parents tell their children that on those rare occasion when he passes wind, another angel gets its wings.
-He once took part in a youth basketball camp in war torn Syria. Jihads have since become a thing of the past in that area.
-The President has granted him unlimited access to the Red Phone.
-Ever since he stepped onto the Brigham Young court four years ago, scientists have declared that global warming within the Utah micro-clime is in a protracted state of dormancy.
-Recently, he politely commented to Snoop-Dog that his "Pimps Up, Ho's Down" rap in "Gin and Juice" seemed degrading to all young women stuck in lower class financial strata's. Snoop is reportedly in the process of changing the lyric for future re-releases.
-For his Senior Thesis, he developed a theoretical NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement that is perfectly equitable for both player's union and ownership, and makes future re-negotiations unnecessary. David Stern has filed a court injunction to block the thesis from ever being published.
THE MOST INTERESTING JIMMER IN THE 2011 NBA DRAFT!!!!!!
"I never drink alcohol. But if I did, I'd prefer 'K Street Kolsch' from River City Brewing"