* The Washington Wizards.

* Climate change.

* Sleeping through your alarm on the first day of work at a new job.

* Mayonnaise.

* Miracle Whip.

* The 'Check Engine' light.

* People who eat babies.

* A good portion of children's television.

* A majority of adult television.

* Apple's maps.

* Finding out the hard way that, yes, your dog can reach that box of donuts, that bag of bagels and that thawing pork shoulder.

* Not giving a few bucks to Royal Jelly 2012.

* The fact that the Lakers exist.

* George Maloof.

* George Maloof's grin.

* George Maloof's face.

* George Maloof's essence.

* George Maloof's 20-year-old perm.

* Pretty much everything about George Maloof.

* Virginia Beach.

* Henry Samueli.

* The Detroit Pistons.

* War.

* Hunger.

* Poverty.

* Polio.

* The Clap. (Or so I hear ...)

* Rachael Ray's recipe for late night bacon.

* "Mini Cheeseburger Salad with Yellow Mustard Vinegarette."

* Being forced to yawn while riding your bike through a cloud of gnats.

* Losing a tiny screw inside a contraption that you are assembling, forcing you to dissemble the contraption to retrieve the tiny screw.

* Convenience store coffee.

* Lockouts.

* Relocation.

* The feeling of the national sentiment turning against you because of some poorly attended games.

* The lack of the Sacramento Kings.

* Did I mention George Maloof?