USA TODAY Sports
Sactown Royalty's editors provide their lists for Santa Claus this year.
StR's editors got together and put a Kings-themed wish list together for Christmas.
- For coach Smart - several WORKING Dry Erase markers (I would test them 1st to verify that they are capable of drawing "plays" occasionally. I assume the ones he currently has are only good for doodling pictures of kittens in bow ties or planning out a post game ordering strategy at TGI Fridays)
- Marcus Thornton - Bobby McFerrin's hit single "Don't worry be happy" on cassette or CD...or vinyl...whatever, just smile once in a while!!!
- Isaiah and Jimmer - Consistent playing time! No wait...two guards who can shoot AND pass!? It's probably against the rules or something.
- Chuck Hayes - That inspirational poster of the cat hanging from the branch that just says "Hang in there" or the version if the same poster that says "Oh shit." His choice. (I feel bad for the guy)
- For Outlaw and Johnson - A note I wrote using using individual letters I had cut out of magazines that says "I swear to God, if you shoot one more time, I'll...." Oh no, I fear I've said too much.
- Jared Dudley.
- Glasses for Travis Outlaw that put the other team in Portland Trail Blazers jerseys.
- For George Maloof to join a monastery and renounce all earthly possessions.
- For Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, a video of Dec. 16th's Kings vs. Nuggets game.
- For DeMarcus Cousins, a John Salmons mood de-enhancer
- Reading glasses and a stat book comparing Isaiah Thomas, Jimmer Fredette and Aaron Brooks for Coach Smart.
- For the Lakers to remain below .500
- Jared Dudley.
- For Geoff Petrie, an alarm clock, a $1,000 Starbucks gift card and a phone.
- For Mike Petrie, a copy of MacBeth.
- For Jerry Reynolds: a stress ball.
- For DeMarcus, Travis, and JJ, I'd wish for self-awareness, to understand what they're good at, bad at, and how they come across to others.
- For Isaiah, I'd wish for playing time.
- For Smart, I wish for two years at the Gregg Popovich coaching fantasy camp.
- For the Maloofs, I'd wish for coal. You know, so they can keep Arco warm this winter.
- For Tom Ziller, a bottle of scotch and a hand gun
- For next year's first round pick: JJ Hickson.
- For Tyreke Evans: Multivitamins wrapped in a new blueprint. Dude has missed only two fewer career games than the porcelain Steph Curry.
- For DeMarcus Cousins: A copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," and a "Turkey Tap Me Elmo."
- For Keith Smart: A small forward that he can call his very own, even if that means returning a couple of the guards that GP got him for his birthday. Or a pony.
- James Johnson: Night vision laser sighting goggles.
- Jimmer Fredette: Playing time. For the love of all that's holy, playing time!
- Chuck Hayes, Isaiah Thomas, Aaron Brooks, Marcus Thornton, and Thomas Robinson: Platform sneakers.
- For all Kings fans: Burkle Brickle.
- For Bill Walton and Jim Gray: Early retirement (personally delivered by Kayte Christensen).
- For next year's 2nd round draft pick: Cash considerations.