Surely it has been so difficult and downright unfun to be a Kings fan in the last few years, but don't let those doldrums defeat your attitude. If I didn't treat every loss as a laughable spectacle and make a Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-style mockery out of every miserable drubbing, I would become so embittered and despondent that I'd probably define the reasonable limit of diehard fandom and perhaps even withdraw from friends, family, and co-workers into a deep depression.

Let's not lose ourselves, our sanity, and sense of humor! Let's have some fun with Kings-related anagrams. I remember the Maloof haiku thread from a couple months back as a great relief of my own bitterness toward our terrible owners, so I hope this provides some of the same for some fellow Kings fans.

This is my game, so lemme make some rules...

Take the name of a Kings player (past okay but especially present), coach, or staff member and derive an anagram from it. Then use it in a sentence that hopefully makes some kinda sense, even if it is rather absurd or ridiculous or fanciful. It can be a satire for how sorrowful a team we have. Kings players are indeed celebrities who are not afforded protection from laws concerning defamation, so if your sentence portrays your subject as lowdown, lewd, lascivious, or otherwise reprobate, so what!?!?!!? Let it roll.

One final rule...

Write your subject and anagram in ALL CAPS so we don't hafta guess what you're getting at.

I'll get it started with the first several comments....