I was a beaten broken man when I met her. A parade of bad relationships seemed to march down the street endlessly. I didnt know what to make of her when I first saw her. All I knew is that every time I saw her I smiled and wanted to see her again.
She was young when we first started dating. Spiritually, emotionally, and in experience I was her first in all aspects of her life. It took us about a year until we hit our groove knowing what each other wanted. Jet skiing, camping, trips to Reno we were connected at the hip. The only thing I want you to understand is that she was my best friend. She was my lover, my confidante, my soul mate she was my best friend. She may not have been the prettiest girl at the ball, hell I doubt any other guy would want her, but she was mine. A mountain of school loans, bad credit, no hope for the future but I had her. My best friend, my lover, my future wife. She was the one I hoped would say a few nice things about me on my final days on this Earth. I had found my right arm, on this slow march to the graveyard we call life.
I woke up next to her one morning, feeling her nudging me awake. Three years had gone by, me and my best friend. When I finally could focus out of my grogginess I could see her naked and stunningly beautiful to me. She began to weep as she said........."I'm gay". Those are the last two words she ever said to me. Thats the last time I had ever seen her.
Crushed, heartbroken, at a complete stand still. I felt as though a bullet had just ripped through my soul leaving a permanent scar on my heart and blood stained sheets.
I walked around for the next year in a huge state of depression. Everything I looked at I speculated if it could support my weight if I hung myself from it. I wondered if I drove my car off the Causeway if I would survive it. Would death be immediate if I just jumped from the Golden Gate? Depression is a deep dark soulless place that echoes past mistakes. For a year and a half I knew depression and it's cold embrace. I knew it's soft seductive whisper of "Just close the blinds and stay in bed, with the sheets pulled over your head"
It seemed like just yesterday when she said those two words to me. Its been over 4 years now and I am in a much better place. Once every now and again though I think " I wish I had just 1 more day" " I wish I had just 1 more day to tell her I love her" I wish I had just 1 more day to have her in my arms. I wish I had just 1 more day of me and my best friend. I hated lesbians with a passion, they took something from me, something I can never replace. Time has gone on and hurt and immediate hate has begun to subside. I still wish I had 1 last day. I am thankful for the great times we had together. She showed me what a good healthy relationship can be. She showed me what I will strive for in the next relationship. She is never coming back, and to think that anybody could ever replace her would be fool hearty. I wish I had 1 more day with her to tell her how much she will be missed. Take from this, this very very true story of mine what you will. The Kings may stay or go, you can support them or not it is up to you. I will guarantee you this though. When they are gone you will wish for just 1 more game.