Incoming transmission from Party Headquarters in three....two....one.

Good evening comrades, this is your friend and Minister of Information Grantov Napearovitch. It has come to our attention that some of you believe our fair nation is heading in the wrong direction. Let me assure you that is not the case, the U.S.S.S.K.R. is stronger than ever.

Our nation strives for success through hard work and thrift, while our bourgeoisie opponents opulence blinds them to our strength. Nations like the Democratic People's Republic of Los Angeles, and the United States of Miami think that all there is to success is to throw what money their capitalist lackeys can steal from their citizens at the problem. Sure this may earn them playoff berths and championship trophies, but the truly informed know this is meaningless. Success can not be measured by wins and losses but must instead be measured buy the acquisition of Ed Hardy T-shirts, and fake tans, in both of which I'm happy to report that our nation leads the world.

Now, if you will, let me speak of our fearless leaders. I am of course speaking of Premiers Joeseph and Gavinsolov Maloov. First I must assure you that no one feels the pain of our losses more than them. I can personally assure each of you that they are working diligently in our favor, so that we can once again rise to our former greatness.

I can also assure you that our General Secretary Geoff Petrievic has many plans for our near future, some of them I am told rival that of his genius pursuit of Jon Salmons.

Now my friends we must come to an uncomfortable subject, I am aware that some citizens of our state disapprove of the current situation we are in. It is important that you realize these people are fools, and that it is your sacred duty to inform on them so that they might be sent to humane detention centers to get the help they desperately need. It is important that you understand-BZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz click

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So let me leave you now with warmness in your heart. Farewell Comrades.