The Convergence of Random Thought - What's in a Nickname?

Meyers Leonard: All beef, or filled with rat droppings? Mandatory Credit: Mary Langenfeld-US PRESSWIRE

I got caught between two random thoughts this morning. The first thought was the dart-throwing hilarity of the old best case / worst case player association that many of us play (yours truly included). Thomas Robinson: Is he Al Horford, Al Bundy, Reggie Evans, Linda Evans, or somewhere in between? Fascinating!

The second thought was our penchant to hang nicknames on these guys. It's fun, it kills time when your team sucks to the high heavens, and Jerry Reynolds will validate us from time to time by using some of our cage droppings on the air.

So what would happen if we mixed the chocolate and the peanut butter? If we merged the thoughts of best case / worst case with the nickname thingy? Well, if someone with actual talent did it, it might come out pretty damn amusing. But because it was left to me, it came out looking something like this (using DraftExpress current 1st round mock draft for "inspiration":

Player Best Case Worst Case
Anthony Davis Browser!, The New Look The Big Tweeze
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist MKGeesus! The AntiGilchrist, MGG (Michael Goat-Gilchrist)
Thomas Robinson Throb Mrs. Robinson
Bradley Beal Brad to the Bone, The Beal Deal Beal Parmesan
Harrison Barnes Hambone, The Tasmanian Carolinian C. Montgomery Barnes
Damian Lillard The Omen Lillardputian
Dion Waiters Garcon Ion (No D)
Austin Rivers The Confluence Suck my Doc
Andre Drummond The Real AD Bang the Drummond Slowly
Jeremy Lamb Lambtastic Sheep Shank
John Henson Sir J.H. Franchise Saver (I've got nothing here) Jonny Craig
Tyler Zeller >Ziller
Terrence Ross The Terror Clearance Rack
Meyers Leonard Oscar Weiner
Perry Jones III The Baylor Nailer the Baylor Failer
Moe Harkless Moe Amazing! Moe Heartless
Terrence Jones Terrence a new one NaHoneycutt
Kendall Marshall The Reader, Marshall Law Can'tdell
Jared Sullinger The Jeweler Subway
Arnett Moultrie Bulldog Shih Tzu
Royce White Rolls Royce White? Wong!
Fab Melo Fabulous Melodramatic
Quincy Miller The M.E. Doubyous
Andrew Nicholson The Android The Bonnie Boner
Evan Fournier Evan-sent Fourniercator
Draymond Green The Infantry, The Nuclear Gnat Dramamine Green
Festus Ezeli EZ Does It InFestus
Jeff Taylor Taylor Made Off the rack
Will Barton We Beazy (Again, nothing) The Last Will & Testament of Geoff Petrie
Marquis Teague The Maquis de God Teague Welder
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