Players the Kings should consider

If past is truly prologue to the present, then it is worth examining at least some of the players not yet claimed by other teams who the Kings might covet and possibly acquire for a song; some as yet undiscovered basketball savant just waiting for the Kings' patient tutelage to tame rawness into a serviceable baller. Or maybe some disused faded light; the player who --once bright with promise -- now toils at something for which he is utterly unsuited like auto detailing, roofing, reality t.v. whore, or balling in a lesser league.

The Kings under Petrie always seemed to chase players like J Will, all hip-hop bravado and 420 coolness; C Webb, the out-of-favor Fab Fiver rescued from BB Oblivion; the former Ron "Ron" Artest (now Metta Whirled Peas) whose next stop after the Pacers was probably- but for the Kings - an MMA octagon; only Petrie(or was it Jerry, or Joe, or Gavin) could see that just beneath that seething 6'7" hulk of tawny sinew wrapped in ADHD waiting to be tased, beat the heart of a "Pooty Tat". Yes, indeed, Ron-Ron was really little more than a cartoon canary, or maybe a Stewie on stilts with a bad-ass left hook, some Hops, and 10% body fat.

Members of the Kings brain trust have alway worked together, like Knights of the Round Table each tossing his gauntlet onto a pile to show agreement with his brothers; for should one Knight dissent, then it is as if all dissent.

To be sure, the Kings are a team effort. Here are just some of the possibilities that await the decisions of the brethren:

1. Derrick Caracter -- At 6'8" 275 lbs, the former Laker and Euro baller now plays on the Atlanta Hawks' summer league team. Once considered to be a "Little Shaq", Caracter was highly recruited and wound up signing with Louisville and Rick Pitino. He quickly wore out his welcome and transferred to UTEP where he was clearly superior to most C-USA competition. However, the headiness of easy competition led him to mysteriously think he was NBA-ready and that he should skip his fourth and final year at UTEP. He entered the draft where the Lakers - having sampled some of Caracter's Kool-Aide - offered him a contract. Caracter eventually learned that "promise" does not equal "proven" and is presumably working toward that end.

2. Greg Oden-- 7'0" 285 lbs - Once considered "Shaq Lite", the former Ohio State All-American was the number one pick of the 2007 NBA draft by the Portland Trailblazers. A series of injuries, however, limited his playing time until this year when he had micro-fracture surgery for a third time. Waived by the "Blazers, Oden is now sitting out the season to recover and rehab his injuries. You can look at the glass half empty:he's brittle and out of shape, or half-full: in five years he has had nowhere near the mileage of other players, and he's seven friggin' feet tall!

3.Allen "AI" "The Truth" Iverson - 6'0" 175 lbs. -- I know, I know, he never met a shot he didn't like; and he's 37 and still wears cornrows. His NBA career spanned the 20th and 21st Centuries where he was an All-Star 11 times, Rookie of the Year, MVP, and Scoring Champion four times. Iverson's last stop was with a team in Turkey whose name only Borat could pronounce. In fact, I think Borat is a majority owner. AI has fallen on hard times after a messy D-I-V-O-R-C-E. He needs C-A-S-H. The Maloofs would love to say "The Truth is a King"

4. Britney Griner -6'8" - 208 lbs. -- She has one year left at Baylor and will have nothing better to do afterward unless you consider dominating WNBA lowpost play "something better to do". There hasn't been a woman in the NBA since Anne Meyers Drysdale when she signed with the Indiana Pacers in 1979. Your eyesight is fine. A woman already played in the NBA. Get over it. Well, she didn't actually "play". She tried out and never made the final cut. This was a stunt to ingratiate the NBA with the Women's Movement and otherwise take full marketing advantage of the Bobby Riggs vs. Billie Jean King Tennis match. However, Griner can at least dunk and would be just the conversation piece that would make The Boys (i.e., Joe and Gavin) the talk of Hollywood Reality TV-Ville instead of their sister. One has to think of these tie-ins.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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