Intervention: Jason Thompson

Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

In which we sit down Jason Thompson for some tough love.

[The following is a difficult conversation with Jason Thompson. Jason has a problem. This is his intervention.]

[Please also note that this is in no way meant to mock anyone with any sort of substance abuse issues or the programs that help such individuals. This is for fun, at the expense of nobody else. Except maybe Jason Thompson.]

Jason,

Thank you for coming today. Now, now, don't ask questions, please just take a seat. We're here because we care about you, and we need to say some things to you. This isn't an attack on you. But you need to hear this.

Ok, here it goes.

(deep sigh)

Jason, you commit fouls. Usually at least one per NBA game. Jason. Jason...JASON, stop yelling and looking confused and throwing your arms in the air. Just stop, and please listen.

This is exactly what we're talking about. This kind of reaction isn't necessary every time someone suggests that you've committed a foul. Stop staring at me with your mouth aghast.

You see, Jason, in the course of an NBA game, fouls happen. JASON, stop, please, listen. Just listen. Stop interrupting and whining.

Fouls happen in NBA games. You know how you feel like you get fouled every time you touch the ball? Well, other players feel that same way. That is not an experience unique unto you. They think you foul them. You think they foul you. But there are rules that explain when it is and isn't actually a foul. And we have refs to call those fouls.

Now, they aren't out to get you. They don't dislike you. You're a pretty likable guy, Jason. They have no reason to target you. And when you do things that are a foul in the rule book, they blow their whistle. Now, you might disagree. But you have a bit of bias in that scenario, right?

Now, I mentioned earlier that the refs have no reason to target you, but that's not entirely true. Jason. Jason! Stop. No, you didn't "know it all along". Listen to me. They might target you because it's annoying as hell when someone whines at you incessantly. When you whine all the time, even when the foul is obvious, you lose the benefit of the doubt. Not every call is bad. But when you treat every call like it's bad, the refs stop caring if you think they made a bad call.

Again, we're not angry with you. We want to help you. We're telling you this because we care. So here's what's going to happen next. Do you remember that nice place we sent DeMarcus last offseason? No, not Team USA tryouts, the other place. Right. And have you noticed how DeMarcus stopped whining nearly as much this year, and has finally tapped into his potential? We want that for you.

Can you say it to me, Jason? Can you acknowledge that you've committed fouls?

...

No? Ok, not today. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is admitting that you commit fouls.

It takes time. But we'll get there.

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