ALIENS! - A Conspiracy Theory About the Current Kings Relocation Saga



So this morning I woke up, jumped in the shower (where I think deeply about all kinds of deeply philosophical subjects), and suddenly I got a burst of confidence about this whole shituation we're in, but then again I did drink pretty heavily last night.

I was thinking about a combination of things that have been said by various different people. People like our savior himself Kevin Johnson, Carmichael Dave, Aaron Bruski and even our overlord David Stern.

First I'd like to point out that everyone on our side behind the scenes is eerily confident, as Carmichael Dave has said himself. We have heard KJ assure us that we will win more times than I can count, so probably like 3 times. Then Dave has said that whenever he has any doubt in his mind that we are going to win he goes and talks to people "behind the scenes" and he becomes increasingly confident again.

Even after we were told that our bid to keep the Kings was "way too low", Mastrov did not waiver one bit and still sounded extremely confident and aggressive. And we keep hearing from our very own Adamsite to "wait until April".

Then there are the rumors that Stern was looking for outside consultants to find a way to rid the league of the Maloof family. I think we all can agree that if true, the fact that a "Maloof-terminator" exists is more badass than having Schwarzenegger as your governor.

Now I'm gonna ask you to put your tin-foil hats on for a second because here is the conspiracy theory; with all of this confidence coming from our side, and the hints and such from Stern, I think . . . hold on to your socks . . . I think that Hansen and Ballmer are the Maloof-terminators.

Okay so I don't actually think that, but it is like a 5% possibility in my mind now. Think about it, this whole situation is such a perfect way for Stern to get exactly what he wants, 2 brand new shiny arenas and a team back in Seattle. What if Stern made a deal with Ballmer and Hansen that if they successfully got the Maloofs out of the league then they would be granted an expansion team in a new arena in Seattle.

"But Stern says expansion is off the table!"

Oh, young grasshopper, learn to speak Sternese. He can't say that expansion is an option with so much money on the table! Also I have only ever heard him say that expansion is off the table for next year and as I said, I think Stern wants the expansion team in a new Seattle arena, which would be a few years down the road.

Sure, I might sound crazy, but weirder things have happened in the NBA, like when those little aliens stole talent from Charles Barkley, Mugsy Bogues, Shawn Bradley, Patrick Ewing and Larry Johnson.

(This is a FanPost from a member of the Sactown Royalty community. The views expressed come from the member, and not Sactown Royalty staff.)

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