(This is the first chapter of a two-part FanPost. In a week's time, it will never have existed)
It is no secret that Pete D'Alessandro is trying to excommunicate both Marcus Thornton and Jason Thompson, as their level of play this season has simply not matched their salary. Judging by the fact that both players are still on the team, my guess is that, thus far, Pete has not found any willing buyers. And why would he? General Managers around the league know Thompson and Thornton are terrible players, coaches know Thompson and Thornton are terrible players, players know Thompson and Thornton are terrible players, and the fans know Thompson and Thornton are terrible players.
But what if they didn’t?
This, readers of STR, is where we come in.
It is my belief that, through good publicity, we can change the narrative. Marcus Thornton and Jason Thompson have been playing terrible basketball for most of this season; let us scour the interwebs and find some facts that hide this truth. Post any findings in the comments section with the understanding that I will plagiarize all of your hard work (more on that later).
In exactly one week’s time, this post will self-destruct (I will delete it), and out of the ashes will emerge a new article praising the talents of Thompson and Thornton. This article will include all the brilliantly misleading statistics and facts about the duo.
My hope is that, in the coming month, some clueless executive in trade talks with the team will stumble across the article and mistake Thornton and Thompson for decent players beloved by fans. Pete D'Alessandro will trade them for a strong asset on a decent contract, then promptly throw all of STR a pizza party. Isaiah will deliver.