Well, well. Sometimes there is just a big need for communication. And today i have the feeling its a good time to share some thoughts with our players. Just some random thoughts for a better experience on the court.
To Jason Thompson: Dude. I know: life is very hard. Almost every night all the refs in the world are against you. And thats not enough: No. After the games you have to leave the arena and return to your tiny, tiny 5-bedroom-10000000m²-home where you need to take a bath in money instead of water. life is though. SO STOP WHINING. Everybody thinks the roof in sleep train is still leaking....
To Demarcus Cousins: Seriously - get your lazy ass off in transition. In every game are 3-4 possessions where you are just too lazy to run back and guard your man. Dude - Yokozuna would outrun you, This cost us more than 2 points every game. And another little advice: i think your eyebrows are broken during games. They never are in a normal position.
To Jimmer Fredette: Stop looking like someone stole your puppy after a bad play.
To IT: Let someone else take the last shot at the end of quarters. Its a desaster.
To Derrick Williams: Well, you need to perform more funny dunk-attempts like the one against chicago. I think this is your only skill - so use it.
To Aaron Gray: Jump, bitch, jump.
To Rudy Gay: Dont dribble behind the back. I always have the feeling that these are the moves where you hurt yourself.
To Marcus Thornton: Your mom is a nice lady. You should visit her 3 times per week for about 3 hours.
To Quincy Acy: I would love to know how IT would look with a nice afro. So take a second at his next free throw attempt, stand behind him and lay your chin gentle on his head.
To Ray McCallum: You need more game time because right now i barely know you.
To Ben McLemore: Dude... whoa... i dont know where to start. As a professional you should be able to catch a ball. i mean its funny to watch how hard you try to catch your own-fumbled-balls but it happens way toooo much. Next thing: Every time you're going to the basket trying to make a layup i am really concerned about the backboard - dude you are throwing bricks at it... i cant believe you never learned that. And the last issue: Every time you miss a three pointer u miss it really wide. How is this possible?
To Travis Outlaw: I want you to sing.
To Carl Landry: You are earning a lot of money. Why?
And the last advice to everyone: Is it so hard to watch your man on the court??? I mean someone told you that the ball doesnt shoot, passes or dunks, right? But the players do - the players you guys should guard. So stop watching the ball all the time. This drives me crazy. Every child learns how to cover his man: Dont take your eyes off him for too long. Is that so hard for you.