Well, Ron Artest ruins everything.

I planned on getting on the computer, writing up a preview of the Magic-Kings game, and settling in for some college basketball to be followed by Grant and Jerry.

But no. I have to take a glance at Lowpost, where I happen to find the Artest-to-Sacramento rumor. Ack.

I'm too confused to write anything. Take it away, lineups.

ORLANDO
PG - Jameer "Kings Killer" Nelson.
SG - Steve "Coach Killer" Francis
SF - Hedo "EU Member" Turkoglu
PF - Dwight "Wimp Killer" Howard
C  - Mr. Kelvin Cato

SACTOWN
PG - Mike "Hey Pop! Get me in the All-Star game!" Bibby
SG - Kevin "Hack-a-Kobe" Martin
SF - Peja "I'm Going Going Back Back to Indy Indy?" Stojakovic
PF - Kenny "The New Oscar" Thomas
C  - Brad "God Bless America" Miller

The line: +1.5. That's a bet I'm willing to take.

Fun bet o' the night: Would you be able to get anyone to give you any sort of odds on a Dwight Howard on a 15-15? I think he has it in him any given night.

Sideshow most likely to be entertaining: Travis Diener's facial hair. I mean, Holy God. Someone do something about that. I'm glad he's not on the Kings - I wouldn't be able to stop obsessing about the kid and all his peculiarities.

Best matchup: Hedo vs. Peja. Yowzers. Would anyone take a straight-up trade? I wouldn't - I feel too good about KMart and FGarc (that will never catch on) to tie up the SF position for a couple years.

Player I'm very worried about losing in a rumored Ron Artest deal: Kevin Dallas Martin. The Pacers could use him to back up Stephen Jackson and Danny Granger, especially since they'd like to unleash Austin Croshere. They need size, too. Martin and Skinner for Artest? It works under the cap. (RealGM trade ID: #2845204.)

It starts at 4 p.m. Four in a row, y'all? Why not!

Let's go Kings!