Some Names Do Not Require Nicknames

by Tom Ziller on Mar 7, 2008 8:26 AM PST in Commentary

There are some given names on this Earth which do not require nicknames, due to innate cadence, brevity, or sheer raw awesomeness.

Mike Bibby. MIKE BIB-bee. BIB-bee! Rolls off the tongue.

Yao Ming. YAO! Yao MING! YAO! MING! Any nickname would be overkill.

Ross Perot. Perot! Peuh-row! Just beautiful.

...

Beno Udrih. BENO! BEH-NOH! BEH-NOH OOOOO-DREK! BEH-NOH!

That name is prettier than Mitch Richmond with a foot on the line. It is the greatest European-born NBA player name in history, the pinnacle of birth certificate decisions. It does not need a nickname.

This 'Tasmanian Slovenian' stuff has to stop. Eight contorted syllables (suh-labb-els) for a crisp four-syllable name? Huh?

Furthermore, my cartographic sensibilites are offended.

I will need a burden of proof more persuasive than this overrated, annoying cartoon character or this inferior marsupial to proceed without protesting along Jerry Reynolds's walking route.

The obscure Justice League character might do the trick.

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Comments

Should we call that a Reynolds wrap?

Brilliant, TZ. Sarunas Marciulionis needed a nickname. Sharif Abdur Rahim needs his nickname. Anthony Johnson needs a jumps shot (sorry, strayed there a bit).

Jerry Reynolds needs to be stopped before we draft O.J. pass the Mayo, Derrick sweet smelling Rose, Kevin I'm in Love, Ty one on Lawson, babbling Brook Lopez, Danilo golly Gallinari, or Roy Hibbert hobbert to the barber shopert.

Grant and Jerry = Peaches and Scream.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Mar 7, 2008 9:00 AM PST reply actions

As mean as it sounds...

My nickname for Sharif is SAR's... there was quite the scare there a couple years ago. Ever since the 'epidemic' went away so has Reef; here's to that lovely bird flu giving a resurgence in play for Sharif.

by moproblemz on Mar 7, 2008 3:30 PM PST up reply actions

Please, TZ, try harder next time

We can all see the hidden agenda: clearly this post was only meant for you to correct our pronounciation, and consider us all idiots who can't read Bibby... or b-ibby? bi-bby? bib-by? bib-bye? bye-bi?. Anyway, me and my man Beanzo Urchenstionikia are gonna go hit up the Reefer and get some drills in with Stoney-Brook Lopez. Besides, nothing helps relieve gas like Beano. But since this post had nothing to do with Tazmanian Slovenians, and all much to do about your superior english skills, and my mutterings are rampant mainly because Ee Jee-AN-Lee-An and I are no longer friends, cause I was like "Yo" and he was like "Not Yao, not Yo, Yi" and I was like "Yeeeaaaaah" and he was like "Yi!" and I was like "Yes" and then he slapped me.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 9:18 AM PST reply actions

Thanks

My head hurts. Does your comment come with Advil?

(Seriously, try to read the comment out loud. It's like speaking in tongues!)

by Tom Ziller on Mar 7, 2008 9:44 AM PST up reply actions

Jerry "Ice" Reynolds...

Out of the two cheesy Reynoldisms, I'd have to go with "Bingo...Beno!" over the Tasmanian stuff. Only b/c the Taz wasn't a southpaw and more of a frenetic defender....And take that damm Reynolds Monarchs GM jersey down from the rafters, it's embarassing! While they're at it, take down the conference banners too....I want the REAL thing one day up there. Seriously though, sign Beno but don't break the bank. I hope $3-5mil per can get it done...love his crafty ball handling and lefty finishes, plus he has great form on his jumper. I'm surprised when he misses an open shot. and Play the Landlord!...I've got a warehouse full of Landlord wristbands to sell.

We need more cowbell.

by landlord2051 on Mar 7, 2008 11:21 AM PST reply actions

Jerry

Jerry Reynolds is just a simple midwestern kid out of French Lick, Indiana. Doesn't really scream "nickname giver-outter". But then again Peaches' play by play has caused me to listen with the tv volume down and KHTK turned up. Sure there's a delay, but at least I know what the Hollaback is.

Muff rules. http://vegaskings.blogspot.com

by Muff209 on Mar 7, 2008 12:32 PM PST reply actions

Your a hater TZ--Taz is awesome

I am the stone that the builder refused I am the visual, the inspiration That made Lady Sing the Blues..I'm the spark that makes your idea bright...

by pookeyguru on Mar 7, 2008 12:55 PM PST reply actions

Call Him What You Want ...

But Beno may not be around next year if the "audition" doesn't start to yield better results.

Start measuring up the Darren Collison uni. Younger, cheaper, and time will tell if he's better. He sure got it done in crunch time last night. He's also used to winning, which we might need a transfusion of at some point.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 7, 2008 1:20 PM PST reply actions

Beno's last five games

22.6 ppg on 56% field, 82% line, a 3.6/1 assist/turnover ratio with 5.8 assists to 1.6 turnovers. Also 3.8 rebounds and 1.2 steals.

So where is he failing the audition? Can't sing or dance? No range as an actor? Or are we going to discount Beno's contributions because Dan Dickau got hot for about 20 minutes?

I don't disagree about drafting a Collison or Lawson if they are the best player available, though I would prefer Darrell Arthur or Kevin Love to help patch the sucking chest wound that is our cower forward position. But none of those guys will be ready to be our point guard next year.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Mar 7, 2008 2:02 PM PST up reply actions

Before I depart

Rational thought out debate with numbers backing up one's point does not equate to zealotry. Therefore one cannot argue with a zealot using rational thoughts.

I am the stone that the builder refused I am the visual, the inspiration That made Lady Sing the Blues..I'm the spark that makes your idea bright...

by pookeyguru on Mar 7, 2008 2:13 PM PST up reply actions

No, see what you don't realize

is that audition's can only be judged based on something stupid and asinine as the last five minutes of GameTime that a person actually watches combined with the thirty seconds of bull ESPN shows on Sportscenter, rather than forming an understanding over time. You are very out of place, section, for trying to argue in the context of the entire last 5 games - shame on you. Think of the last thing you remember Beno doing (for me it was making a contested Jumper at the top of the paint, which is weak at best - I expect my point guards to make half-court shots over Bruce Bowen). Then, come up with a completely new and unheard of philosophy that is based exclusively on that point.

Now, do you understand? You're just very wrong. Sorry. Plus, you forgot to mention the fact that he is only creating .2 blocks per game, and half of an offensive rebound. I say you are selectively picking your statistics to add to your argument, rather than just relating the ones most relevant to point-guard play. Now that isn't just wrong, but that is morally irresponsible.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 2:30 PM PST up reply actions

I didn't know Steven Colbert was a Kings fan

Will you do a word of day posts in the future? Please. Pretty please. Can I have one of your wrist bands?

Serioussly, enjoyable post, iashwash.

by NYCFan @ Sactown Royalty on Mar 9, 2008 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions

Hahaha

Word of the day: Obsessive-Laker-Compulsivism.

Definition: When beating Kobe > Missing playoffs.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 11, 2008 2:02 AM PDT up reply actions

Nice

by NYCFan @ Sactown Royalty on Mar 11, 2008 7:09 AM PDT up reply actions

Beno's Audition

>>So where is he failing the audition?<<

Maybe in the W-L department and his decisions late in games. You can cherrypick your stats, but if I did that it would be called "blatantly lying."

Beno's stats, as you point out, look good in the last five games, but last I checked it's an 82-game season. Meanwhile the team has lost four of those five games.

In the two games before the period you cite, he scored 4 and 2 points, and in the five games before the five you cite, he averaged 10 points a game. Maybe you can provide the other averages in those games in terms of assists, etc., unless you are more intent on making your case than having an open mind.

In the meantime, Beno has moved up from 34th to 30th in PER since the Bibby trade and the team has won four of 10 games.

Beno has played very well in spurts this season, but overall I'd say the grade is still "Incomplete."

I agree our need is more pressing upfront, but I don't think we are that solid at any position and having a good point guard going forward will be key.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 7, 2008 2:51 PM PST up reply actions

Damn, I'm good:

This was said:

You can cherrypick your stats, but if I did that it would be called "blatantly lying."

right after this was written by me:

I say you are selectively picking your statistics to add to your argument, rather than just relating the ones most relevant to point-guard play.

Though I'm guessing a five-game sickness streak after adjusting to being the starting point again isn't good. I'm also guessing that being owned in 98.7% of fantasy leagues is a bad indication of his worth. Further guessing would suggest that PER has long-been criticized as failing to accurately describe point guards, but hey - whatever. I mean, the PER difference between #30 and #19 is only 1, so I guess there must be a huge talent disparity there, and I'm sure Beno's stats haven't been negatively affected by the changing roles and expectations placed on his shoulders, nor by the long period of let's-show-Mike-Bibby-to-the-world where his contributions for the season were nonsensically revoked. It's cool. I mean, million-dollar point guards that play well are a dime-a-dozen, anyway.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 3:16 PM PST up reply actions

Also

please reread my post above to understand why I was being especially sarcastic about the "cherry-picked stats."

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 3:25 PM PST up reply actions

The Other Side of That Statement

>>the PER difference between #30 and #19 is only 1, so I guess there must be a huge talent disparity there<<

The PER difference between #30 and #41 is also only 1.

By that rationale I guess Beno is somewhere between #19 (Derek Fisher) and #41 (Marcus Banks.

The bigger question isn't where Beno is now or even where he or a drafted point guard will be next year. We are probably not going to have a chance to be truly competitive until the following year anyway unless we throw caution to the wind and ante up. And even that timeline could be overly optimistic.

The bigger question is how good Beno or a drafted point guard could be in the 2009-2010 season or beyond. And you can ask that same question up and down our roster.

But back to Beno: there's still the possibility that he could sign for more money elsewhere than we want to pay him or can pay him. Or it just could come down to the choice of paying a guy $2 million vs. paying him $5 million in a season that doesn't matter anyway except as it relates to the future development of the club.

So the choice could end up being: who do you see as the Kings point guard of the future (2009-10 and beyond): Beno Udrih, Darren Collison, Ty Lawson or DJ Augustin?

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 8, 2008 9:01 AM PST up reply actions

PER as an Evaluation Tool

>>PER has long-been criticized as failing to accurately describe point guards, but hey - whatever.<<

I agree that stats don't always tell the tale, but PER probably does a pretty decent job of grading the current point guard crop.

Here's the top 8 point guards in PER right now:

Chris Paul
Chauncey Billups
Jose Calderon
Steve Nash.
Deron Williams.
T.J. Ford.
Baron Davis.
Tony Parker.

It's pretty hard to argue with that list.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 8, 2008 9:10 AM PST up reply actions

sorry for the confusion

but those two facts were supposed to be put together to argue that Beno being ranked #31 on that list should not be considered an argument. I was being sarcastic in that their was no talent differential between #19 and #31. Saying that Beno is ranked #31 in PER is exactly like saying that John Hollinger, a statistician for ESPN.com who never played pro ball, sees Beno as the #31 point guard in the NBA.
PER is a combination of statisics that validifies Hollinger's basketball theory - for when he tuned his formula, he tuned for his own preferences. That is not to say that Hollinger is a bad statistician, it is just that he is a bad basketball analyst, which is hidden by the fact that most people don't know statistics well enough to call his bluff (ie, didn't pay some fancy-pants professor several grand to tell them some crap about it).
That being said, justifying PER by listing eight point guards approved by it is like saying "these are the eight best point guards according to John Hollinger." Whoop-tee-doo. I preferred Section's arguments because he provided the raw numbers, and allowed us to draw our own conclusions based on them. If I value steals and assists versus points and rebounds, I can draw my own conclusions, rather than entrust this mystical formula that is actually some bad black magic when you read the book on it and see what's going on. Without the backing of ESPN, PER wouldn't matter. And I don't think anybody wants me beginning a tirade against traditional media, no matter how much fun they are.

That said, your assertion that

The bigger question is how good Beno or a drafted point guard could be in the 2009-2010 season or beyond. And you can ask that same question up and down our roster.

is absolutely correct. Bringing in PER to argue these points would be absolutely foolish though. Would we really compare Shawes to Wilcox and say they have the same value because their PER is both 12.4? No.

The thing about Beno is his relative experience (he's basically a rookie), his mileage versus his likely age-of-retire (a shooting, passing guard of his size will stay in his primes till he's 33), his skill and maturity as well as philosophy (kid was on the Spurs, and says all the right things), whether he'll aid in the development of our young players (we need him if we're ever going to define Douby in the next year and a half), whether he fits in well with our system (crisp passing? check. good shooting? check. creative-with-the-ball? check. zealous defense? che..oh.), and whether he'll get better with more experience (his improvement so far suggests yes).

All of these were ignored in your first argument, and your defense afterwards was weak. I can understand not wanting Beno for the future, that is no less than my arbitrary for my want of him (or 3-Will) for the future. But to attack him off-handedly without an appreciation for the game by using misplaced statistics ain't the smartest way to convinve me otherwise. Bring up the question, they are good questions, just careful with your argumentation. My statement that your arguments are fallacious and sensational ties to your arguing that we should focus on his early wins-losses and statistics when he is readjusting his playing time. That shows a misunderstanding of the extremely precarious balance between point guard, coach and team (look at what's going on in NJ with Harris and all the attention being paid to him fitting in - even though he's been playing well enough individually). The W/Les focus was also extreme, much weirdness was going on there, not the least of which had to do with the Artest/Theus dynamic.

Also, this is my second time typing this out cuz I hit the wrong button, so feel free to respond if I left something out.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 11, 2008 1:41 AM PDT up reply actions

The Beno Decision

It's extremely important for the franchise to get this right, and yet, as in most cases, we won't now if we got it right until after the fact. We get another 19 games to form an opinion.

And it's not just an opinion of whether Beno is or can be a top point guard talent. It also includes the dollar issues, particularly if a bidding war develops, as well as Petrie's assessments of the point guards in the draft.

Beno was simply outstanding in the win against the Lakers, but he's also had some very poor outings this season. I will grant the caveats expressed in the thread are valid.

Who will be the best point guard in 2009-10 and beyond among the options available to the Kings, including the potential draft picks? Maybe it's Beno, maybe it's one of the college kids.

It also depends on the power forward situation. Shelden Williams really needs some playing time to give us a better idea what he can do.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 11, 2008 4:55 AM PDT up reply actions

OK, let's look at the last 10 games

That is better than 10% of the season -
16.3 ppg on 51% field, 82% line. 6 assists to 1.9 turnovers for a 3.2/1 assist/turnover ratio. 3.5 boards and 1.1 steals.

Look at the entire season if you will, but to be fair you should knock out the 14 games that Bibby started and also take into account that he came to this team at the end of camp and has been flat out learning his teammates and coaching staff on the fly. This is also his rookie season for all intents and purposes.

Besides, you said "if the audition doesn't start to yield better results," which I mistakenly assumed meant that you were more concerned with his recent play.

As far as me "cherry picking my stats" or trying to "make my case," I won't even dignify that with an answer. I'll stand by my posts and let everyone at StR decide whether or not I am wasting their time.

Good day, sir or madam.

SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!

by section214 on Mar 7, 2008 3:22 PM PST up reply actions

Oh, total pwnage dude.

No way Cartman! You fucking fatass, that was not pwnage.

Dude, I pwned you. Therefore, pwnage.

No, you never pwned me. You just made it up! Fuck you, Cartman.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 3:30 PM PST up reply actions

Can we stop?

So many other blogs are derailed by endless back and forth, and by posters who post with the apparent aim of elicing a response and thus getting the attention that is otherwise missing from their lives. StR generally avoids this sort of thing, which is why I read it (well, that and a morbid fascination with the trainwreck that is the Kings).

Let's not be government cheese.

by Snakes in the Trees on Mar 7, 2008 4:04 PM PST up reply actions

Don't Stop

Till you get it.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 4:09 PM PST up reply actions

Tell you what

Maybe we can just agree on the fact that his grade is "Incomplete" and continue to review the incoming evidence.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 7, 2008 5:30 PM PST up reply actions

Recent Play

>>Besides, you said "if the audition doesn't start to yield better results," which I mistakenly assumed meant that you were more concerned with his recent play.<<

I think his recent play continues to become a better indicator, but you look at the overall numbers as well, pro and con. I am also more concerned with W-L and crunch time performance over an extended period than his overall stats.

The Kings don't have the overall skill to dominate many opponents and play a lot of games where they still have a chance to win in the last 5-6 minutes. That's the time frame you really want to analyze. I think the Clippers game was a good example of Beno perhaps not meeting that standard, but is only one example out of a season's worth of data to mull over.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 8, 2008 9:17 AM PST up reply actions

Beno and the Lakers

He played a tremendous game tonight, especially in crunch time. It's hard to get more clutch than drawing the foul and nailing the winning free throws in the waning seconds. This is a game both Beno and the Kings can draw some inspiration from.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 9, 2008 10:11 PM PDT up reply actions

word.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 11, 2008 1:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Huh?

He sure got it done in crunch time last night.

Clutch.

by moproblemz on Mar 7, 2008 3:55 PM PST up reply actions

buahahahahaha

Wow, bad call.

Mikki Moore in the skills challenge! - LPA

by iashwash on Mar 7, 2008 4:14 PM PST up reply actions

I Agree

It was a bad call. But he forced the action and sometimes it works out for you. He still had to make the two free throws and he did against the No. 7 team in the country with 2.5 seconds left to force overtime. Then he owned them in OT. Like I said: clutch.

Disclaimer: This post may be a complete and utter waste of your valuable time.

by coolcatreportdotcom on Mar 7, 2008 5:27 PM PST up reply actions

amen brother...

he has terrible nicknames for players: tasmanian slovenian (as noted), ben-o drain-o, b-52 bomber (does he use that one?), i'm just glad we don't have to hear "he's at his bibbilicious best" anymore, it has to stop.... maybe if he used speed racer for k-mart every now and then it would be tolerable.

between that and nape's antics having league pass makes me hope we get the other teams broadcast.....oh, this season is really starting to get tiresome...there's always time to jump on the houston rocket bandwagon.

"I think the Shaq trade will be the biggest mistake since movie execs cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze based on box office reputation"

by CrownUs93 on Mar 7, 2008 2:54 PM PST reply actions

Who are you calling obscure??

Taz has appeared in 29 DC comic books dating back to 1977, including a big 7-issue arc in Justice League International '93! And who could ever forget that time he teamed up with Elongated Man and Metamorpho to stop a group of murderous aliens who were terrorizing London ...

(from BallHype )

by jgurney on Mar 7, 2008 6:51 PM PST reply actions

uhhh

the great bam-beno? thanks, you've been a great audience, be sure and tip your waitress.
And one more thing, is there anyway to ban coolcat? He/She is the Olden Polynice of this blog.

by Travis Mays Hayes on Mar 9, 2008 11:15 PM PDT reply actions