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God, Save The Kings

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Blame three things for this:

  1. Some random guy I chatted with about the Kings last week, who flippantly said he doesn't care if the team finishes in last place since everyone knows they're moving to Vegas.
  2. Ric Bucher, who indicated the Kings are heading out of town in an August ESPN.com chat when asked a question regarding the team's offseason moves. Because, you know, you'd think that answering questions about offseason moves would be something an NBA analyst would do.
  3. Henry Abbott, the editor of True Hoop (which happens to be the best all-around NBA blog in the world), who earlier this month incited the citizens of Sacramento to rise up by saying, well, "Citizens of Sacramento, rise up!"
For years, we've heard the rumblings.

"ARCO Arena is too old. There are no corporate sponsors in Sacramento. T.V. deals in the Capital region aren't lucrative enough. This cowtown is too smalltown. The Maloofs are too tied to Las Vegas. The public won't finance an arena. Developers won't put out enough money to get one done. The Maloofs can't build it themselves and afford to run a top-flight franchise. A new arena for the Kings just isn't feasible, but playing in ARCO Arena also just isn't feasible."

Every week, the media in Sacramento and around the country mention another sign that the Kings will leave. Every month, a new arena plan falls apart. Every year, ARCO Arena gets closer to its death.

Yet every night, 17,317 screaming fans fill ARCO, supporting the home team. We've worn Reggie Theus's #24, Mitch Richmond's #2, Chris Webber's #4 and Mike Bibby's #10. We buy tickets, we attach flags to our antennae and we bang the crap out of our cowbells.

We bleed purple.

But with a 10,000-pound gorilla lurching near us, we get worried. Is the train to Nevada approaching the station? Are the Maloofs quietly convincing David Stern the Las Vegas Kings are a good idea? Is Sacramento losing its team?

We need assurance. We see it crop up in an interview every now and then, but we want it told to us very clearly and very bluntly: the Kings are staying in Sacramento.

Forget the statue or the hanging #6 jersey or the "Gold Standard" ad campaign - we don't need all that. We'll still come to the arena.

What do we want? Our Kings. Our Sacramento Kings. That's it.

Joe and Gavin Maloof, Heather Fargo, Bob Thomas's eventual replacement, David Stern, Angelo Tsakopoulos and everyone else in a position of powers with regards to this team and this city: Please, Save Our Kings.

For what it's worth, I've set up a petition that says what I said above. I'm not sure that electronic petitions ever accomplish much (the petition for a DVD release of MTV's old cartoon "Daria" it seems we signed years ago has yielded little), but it seems at least worth the time and the small effort.

I have no idea what tangible thing I'm seeking with this - I just imagine it as something those of us who cringe every time a talking head or a columnist refers to the Las Vegas Kings can rally around. I'd probably go into incredible seizures if we got 17,317 signatures on the e-petition. (I'm expecting more like 17.317, to be honest.)

Most of all, I guess I just want there to be an awareness out there that says, "Hey, we DON'T want our Kings to move and we WON'T lay down and watch it happen. Eff that ess! Leave our Kings alone!"

To kick-start said awareness campaign, here's a song I (kind of) wrote (but not really) about our team:

To the tune of "In the Garage" by Weezer.

I've got Peja Stojakovic
I've got Corliss Williamson
I've Bonzi Wells
And Mike Bibby, too
Playing there for me, yes I do
I do

I've got B-52
"Speed Racer" Kevin Martin
I've got Shareeeeeeef
I've got Francisco
Playing with KT, yes I do
I do

In ARCO
The Kings play
Sactown prays that they will stay
In ARCO
In that old barn
Th' Maloofs can hear us sing our song
In ARCO

They wear purple and white
Sometimes cat-vomit gold
They shoot lots of threes
And run the pick and roll
Right in front of Grant, yes they do
They do

In ARCO
The Kings play
Sactown prays that they will stay
In ARCO
In that old barn
Th' Maloofs can hear us sing our song
In ARCO
In ARCO

::killer cowbell solo::

In ARCO
Price drops dimes
Sampson's cousin rides the pine
In ARCO
Where Skinner blocks
Jason Hart keeps guards in locks

In ARCO
With Adelman
Everyone prays for a win
In ARCO
It's so swell
Hearing people clang their bells

In ARCO
The Kings play
Sactown prays that they will stay
In ARCO
In that old barn
The Maloofs can hear us sing our song
In ARCO
In ARCO

In ARCO


(Note: If you aren't familiar with the song, here's a perfectly legal MIDI version for you to download: Weezer - In the Garage (MIDI). It's only 36KB. Right-click and save as, or click to stream. If any local rock band or the like would like to record the song with the Kings-specific lyrics, I'd probably hand over my as-yet-to-be-created first-born son, or some other similarly valuable item of less legally- and morally-challenging substance. Like a t-shirt or something. I would record it myself, but my band totally got Yoko'd five years ago. Also, my band sucked.)

I'm thinking t-shirts and letters to the editor at this point. Also, signs displayed at opportune places (behind Walt Gray, in front of Jim Kozimor) would be fun. Perhaps, an independant domain could be fun, too.

Logo ideas, revised song lyrics and words of support/mutual grief appreciated.

And if anyone involved in anything related to keeping the Kings in Sacramento happens to somehow pass by this, please, help save our Kings.