clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The L.A. Lakers All-Evil Team: #3 Phil Jackson

Note: This is the fourth in a series of posts on the most evil Lakers of all-time. Yesterday, we named our honorable mentions and the #5 most evil Laker of all-time, Vlade Divac. Earlier, we named our #4 most evil Laker of all-time, Shaquille O'Neal. Now, the third most evil Laker of all-time: Phil Jackson.

We're simple people, us Sacramentans. You won't find a whole lot of psychiatrists on K Street (we prefer lawyers and lobbyists); John Edwards isn't a frequent speaker at ARCO; our critical thinking for the day is typically limited to "Willie's or Ford's?" That's not to we're stupid - we aren't. We just deal in facts and the here and now more than, say, hippy stoners from 1970s New York do.

So forgive us for not worshipping the psychobabble of Phil Jackson. When we don't? We're a cowtown, we're hicks, we're rednecks. We bang our cowbell a little too loud for his liking. We poison his star player, which is apparently wrong. We steal his other star player's seemingly important game ball, which is apparently wrong. None of that makes us what Phil has always tried to portray us as, though. We aren't rural Arkansas or anything. Sure, we may be small-town for California, but we're not the most backwards metropolitan area in the nation.

This is all well and good. Sure, he got Shaq and Kobe to co-exist, getting them another ring while shutting the door on the city of Sacramento. That was one thing. He made another run, retired, wrote a book that truly savaged his old star like nothing I've seen, and lived happily ever after.

Only he didn't.

In a true stroke of evil genius, he decided he still wanted to coach. Not content on just crawling back to the now dishevelled Lakers and his dominatrix Jeanie Buss, he decided to play the field a little. The town he savaged, the cowtown full of hicks and criminals - that town was in play.

And honestly, I couldn't be more ashamed about how Kings fans (desparate after the quick playoff exit and the trade of Webb) clung to the notion of Phil as Sacramento's head coach. It was absolutely horrible. Grant Napear was right - you all should be ashamed of yourselves. We had a coach, after all. One whom was looking for an extension. One whom is certainly the best coach this team has ever had, and deserves to be treated better by the fans and owners, no matter which legend is looking for a job.

(Disclaimer: Yeah, I've been rough on Adelman this season. It's just that everyone knows he won't be around next season, so his credibility is gone. Gone. That's why I think he should be sent off. Also, his horrible rotation.)

Not only did the fans cream themselves over Phil, but the Maloofs did, too. If anyone should know that Kings fans never (NEVER!) want to root for Rick Fox, Phil Jackson, Shaq, Kobe Bryant or Robert Horry, it's Joe and Gavin Maloof. To wine and dine Jackson the way they did behind Adelman's back was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. I mean, way to alienate your already lame duck coach for no real apparent reason!

Phil knew what he was doing. Part of it was selfish - he was driving up his eventual salary. But mostly, it was evil. "Hmm. How can I get back together with the Lakers, while at the same time completely ruining the Kings' upcoming season? Hmm." I'm sure a wicked, Gargamel-like grin was involved as well. Evil bastard.

Thank you, Mr. Jackson. You probably would've been around #5 on this list before this last offseason. But you found a way to be more of a jackass. Kudos to you. Your trophy is in the mail.

Next up: The second most evil Laker of all-time! The tension is palpable, I know. Whom will it be?!?