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"We're all crazy."

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Run (don't walk) over to ESPN.com to read Sam Alipour's ridiculously entertaining account of one night in Illinois with Ron Artest and his Tru Wariers.

There's really too much to talk about going on in that thing. Seriously, go read it. Quoting it here wouldn't do it justice.

But... there is one pull-out that definitely needs to be highlighted. It's about our hands-on owners:

"The Maloofs wanted to visit me in Queensbridge earlier this year, and with no security. So I took them to my projects, inside the ghetto. ... At one point, they had to go to the bathroom, but there ain't no bathrooms in the ghetto. So they went into a pissy elevator, knocked on a random door, and went in someone's apartment. How many owners do that? That's crazy. I love those guys. I want to be in Sacramento forever."

Okay, and one more, on Team USA:

"I think we would've won if I was on the team. The opportunity wasn't given to me. It should have been given to me. Never got an explanation and that's not fair to America. I'm from a ghetto in America. I should be able to represent, no matter what they think. ... I'm definitely going to play, but I'm never going to shut up about not being on this team right here. It's all on the committee, so maybe I gotta get President Bush to step in. He's the only one who can change their mind."

Like I said, read that thing! It's the definitive book in the Canon of Ron-Ron.