Dear Portland,
Thank you. My favorite team, the Sacramento Kings, really needed a win last night. Had they lost, it would have been chaos in the Capital City. Really, it would have been a Unabomber level disaster if the Kings couldn't beat the Blazers. So we appreciate y'all laying down and letting B. Miller and M. Bibby and especially S. Abdur-Rahim do whatever they wanted.
Please talk to your friends in Oakland, Calif. We could use their assistance as well.
Best,
TZ