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The Interviews Have Begun

Eric Musselman visited The Palms Wednesday and Super Mario Elie is due today, according to The Bee.

I can only imagine the interviews are taking place in the famous Hardwood Suite. Also, I can only imagine that Musselman's face was brighter than the red poker chips over on the left when he was escorted in by two scantily-clad strippers, err um I mean Royal Court dancers.

That wouldn't even be the best part, though - the entire Maloof family is sitting in on the interviews. Not just Joe and Gavin - Phil (the younger brother who was accused of giving it to Britney Spears a few years back), George (the owner of the Palms), and Colleen (Mama Maloof). Apparently, Adrienne (the one who could either model for Victoria's Secret or could be working the pole of Risky Business - we can't really tell from the commercial) was tied up with something else. (Maybe Ahmad Rashad can fill in for her? It worked when The Trade went down.)

I can't imagine being Geoff Petrie. I have no doubt that he has much more in common with whatever coaching candidate comes in than any of the Maloofs. He's got to be sitting there, begging for it to end. Imagine a guy like Musselman or Carlesimo sitting in there? This needs to be a television show. Why don't we throw in Ron-Ron (with a bucket of wings) while we're at it? If it's going to be so absurd as to be taking place in a casino in Vegas with the whole family there, just invite everyone slightly involved in the team. Stick Grant Napear and Mike Lamb in there - Napear can start criticizing the coach now and Lamb can ask himself a few questions. What about Vitaly Potapenko? He can quiz the candidate on how much playing time he'll get. Invite Rick Adelman! He can talk sh*t about Joe and Gavin the entire time, and perhaps start a fist fight. Is there a downside to this? (Other than compromising, you know, an important decision like this by turning the ordeal into a circus. But isn't it already pretty close to a circus?)

I wish someone was taking bets on the whole damn process, because my money is absolutely on John Whisenant right now. In Amick's story, the Maloof that doesn't jump around with a feeling of pain on his face (Gavin) defends a possible hiring of Whiz, saying:

We don't care (about perceptions) ... (Whisenant) wins. He knows how to win. I don't care if it's (coaching) boys, girls, men, ladies, it doesn't matter. He knows how to win.

They've already made up their mind. They just need to convince Petrie to sign off on it and not resign. Be the man, Geoff! Don't let this happen - not when there are much better, safer alternatives.

(Our promise about blood running in the streets of Natomas if Whisenant is the new head coach has been rescinded. Those people have been through enough this week. Crap like this happening in our backyard puts things in perspective. So, no more death threats when it comes to the hiring of a basketball coach. Maybe just threatening to break some legs or something. Aggravated assault. No homicide.)