The business:
STARTERS:
PG - Mike Bibby is flirting with 40% in January. Why should I be cheering about this?
SG - The last five games for Kevin Martin: 14 pts on 11 FGAs, 25 pts on 11 FGAs, 12 pts on 7 FGAs, 21 pts on 12 FGAs, 22 pts on 13 FGAs. At some point, dude's going to snap.
SF - Meanwhile, Ron Artest has put together a string of three nice offensive games in a row. Yet, the Kings lost two of those? Does not compute.
PF - Kenny Thomas: handsome and talented.
C - If the flu claims another Brad Miller performance, I'm FedExing a box of Airborne to the ranch.
CLEVELAND
PG - Eric Snow is a starting NBA point guard, and he is averaging 4.6 ppg. Does not compute.
SG - I'm really glad the Kings didn't take a gamble on Larry Hughes, instead taking a rental gamble on Bonzi Wells. Hughes has been a costly mistake for the Cavaliers.
SF - LeBron James cannot hold Kenny Thomas' jock.
PF - Drew Gooden: a blind man's Carlos Boozer.
C - Sometimes, when I'm sad, I try to spell the name of Zydrunas Ilgauskas without looking. It's fun.
THE LINE:
It's Sacramento at -3. If you bet on Sacramento with that line, you're a silly man who deserves to lose his monies.
INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NOTE:
It is important for this game to be decided in regulation. If it goes to overtime, the Kings will lose and possibly one million fans/locals will go insane instantly. We have already started to break. Please, please, let regulation decide the outcome.
PREGAME HAIKU:
F*ck the Lakers
F*ck Portland
This is not haiku
I hate basketball sometimes
BLAH.
Rollercoaster. Of crap. Rollercoaster. Of ooh ooh ooh. Your play is like a rollercoaster, baby baby. I want to die.