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Hating Kobe

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When Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm approached me about participating in 'Kobe Bryant Blog Day,' I almost stabbed him. But Matt's a great guy (and an awesome blogger), so I relented for the sake of greater blogospheric cooperation.

Then he laid out this ground rule:

This isn't facetious. If you have negative things to say about Kobe, save it for every other day of the year.

Clearly, Matt has never visited Sacramento. We poisoned his burger before a playoff game! We named him the #2 most evil Laker of all-time! Though I'm not proud of it, we invented the COL-O-RAD-O! chant.

In Sacramento, we hate Kobe Bryant.

But you know what? Of course we respect his game. Of course we can appreciate his talent. For the last eight years, he has been among the five best players in the league. That's amazing. Only Tim Duncan and maaaybe Juwan Howard could say the same. And hey, we wouldn't hate Kobe so much if he weren't so damn good. We don't hate Chris Mihm. We don't hate Ronny Turiaf. Hell, we don't even hate Lamar Odom. The hatred is premised completely on the fact that Kobe has murdered us over the years. We wish he would stop.

It is hard for me, you'll understand, to heap the poetry of heroes on someone as evil as Kobe. Thus, my appreciation shall be enclosed in this graph.

Kobe, we would like you a lot more if you'd stop playing against the Kings. Consider that.

(Be sure to check out all the other Kobe Bryant fellatio at Hardwood Paroxysm.)