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Miller-to-the-Bulls Trades That Work For Me

I'm not pleased with any deal including 28-year-old Andres Nocioni, who will make $29 million over the next four years guaranteed. Nocioni is an upgrade on John Salmons -- historically, Andres is a better shooter and more frequent scorer, and a pretty good rebounder and defender. But he's not nearly enough of an upgrade to take him on for that lengthy a contract when you already have Salmons on a fair salary -- not to mention Ron Artest.

But who am I to deny the Bulls their desire, which appears to possibly be according to a rumor Brad Miller?

Miller for Drew Gooden, Joakim Noah, and Cedric Simmons

Gooden expires next summer and could a) be flipped for something at the deadline, or b) replace Mikki Moore as the 'designated veteran' in a Millerless frontcourt. Gooden has more value today and in February than Mikki -- Gooden doesn't cost $2 million in buy-out funds next fall, and he's younger and a better scorer. Reggie Theus isn't starting Jason Thompson and Spencer Hawes together this season, nuh uh no way. Gooden's a good plug while that's the case.

Noah has been an apple in Geoff Petrie's eyes for two years. He's another active, athletic, skilled big. And he hates Ben Wallace and loves brandy, just like the rest of us.

Simmons means you have to cut Patrick Ewing and Sean Singletary, unless you wait until training camp, decide you hate Simmons, decline his 2009-10 option and eat his $1.7 million to cut him and keep Singletary.

This deal would put the Kings roughly $18 million under the cap next summer, before accouting for restricted free agent Francisco Garcia.

Miller for Luol Deng, in a six-year, $60-65 million sign-and-trade

The Bulls fans (especially Blog-a-Bull's Matt) won't broach it because the idea of losing Luol is too painful, too utterly and viciously painful. Deng is a beautiful creature, he and Kevin Martin would make the sweetest music. If Deng comes to Sacramento, I will walk to Geoff Petrie's house, ring his doorbell thrice, look into the peephole, ring thrice more, casually glance into the front window, concede defeat, and leave the bouquet of roses and first-born son on the doorstep with a note that says, "Thank you."

This deal would put the Kings in Awesomeville (population: Kings).