That's low, Al Harrington. Real fricking low.
This is going to blow your fricking mind: the Knicks defense is better than the Knicks offense.
That is more of a commentary on the dreadful shooting the Knicks have given the world this season. New York ranks 22nd in effective field goal percentage, and 24th in three-point shooting. This is particularly problematic because the Knicks have taken more threes than anyone else. A full 32 percent of New York's FGAs are threes, which is outpaced by Orlando (34 percent) but still bloody robust. And, again, bloody, considering New York hits only 31 percent of those. That's an eFG of about 46 percent on threes, which is comparable with lower echelon two-point shooting. While threes are among the most efficient shots in the game, you do need to remain fairly good at hitting them to reap the benefits.
As for New York's defense: opponents turn the ball over quite a bit against the Knicks. Larry Hughes is the only passing lane wizard on the squad, but Sacramento has shown such a propensity to turn the ball over lately that even Eddy Curry could morph into a hawk before our eyes. A frightening visage, no doubt.
Seth of Posting & Toasting is the funniest 20-year-old I've ever met, which the two exceptions being Donte Greene last year and myself at age 20. (If you can't see the joke in there, my humor is way too next level for you.)
THE KEY BATTLE
I would announce the coming conquest of Tyreke Evans over his worst DraftExpress comp (Hughes) if Evans were certain to play, but alas, he is soft. (This is the greatest: part of the Peaches crusade against Kevin Martin was that Evans was so tough that he'd play through minor things like sprains. "If it isn't broke, you play." Guess what? Sprains hurt! They limit your ability to run, stop, jump, cut and slide! Basketball requires those movements! Frequently! And basketball players -- even tough basketball players -- need to let their body heal sometimes. Sorry that Kevin Martin and Tyreke Evans and Bobby Jackson are robbing you of your $0 tickets.)
In conclusion, if Grant Napear were an actor, he'd be Peter O'TOOLe. If Grant Napear were a president, he'd be IDIOTham Lincoln. If Grant Napear were a Danish philosopher, he'd be Soren DOUCHEgaard. If Grant Napear were a game show host, he'd be Pat SaJACKASS.
THE KEY BATTLE, NON-TANGENT EDITION
Beno Udrih, meet Chris Duhon. Destroy Chris Duhon. Destroy him. (I will also accept Jason Thompson vs. Al Harrington.)
The Kings are 0-1 in games when free pregame buffets are provided to fans. But I've got a special feeling about this buffet. Yes, this one will beget good things. Lofty things. (Seriously, nice promo, Kings. Golf clap. If I didn't have a date with an infant and some spit-up, I'd be right there with you shovelling mashed potatoes down my throat, leaving my seat to visit the gentlemen's room at a crucial point in the game. Right there with you.)
Eddy Curry will not feel like commiserating with Francisco Garcia over the dangerous realities of exercise balls. (Speaking of which, does anyone else think El Flaco should spend his time away from the court doing stand-up? "An Israeli soldier, Sean May and Eric Musselman walk into a bar. And then I'm like, wassup fellas? <cackle>")
Considering the Sexy Systemic Rating System has been an abject failure in determining margins of victory, let us stick to the mainstream methods: random guesses, based on intuition and hope. Kings 124, Knick 78.
7 PM start (for the game and the game thread. Forreal this time). Buffet opens at 5:30. No Game Thread II tonight. Post-game thread at 9:45. Go Kings.