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Ike Diogu Super Happy Fun Thread


Spencer Hawes (left) and unknown douche discuss the prowess of Ike Diogu.

Ike Diogu is the biggest thing to hit the Sacramento Kings since the introduction of Slamson, with apologies to the "site masters" here at StR. He is a man, wrapped inside a beast, surrounded by thick, rich, gooey frosting. We likey Ikey.

We have uncovered the genius that is Geoff Petrie. The acquisition of Diogu was not a cost saving move. And the sly bastard would have pulled it off, had it not been for our Natt-brained coach that saw fit to move Diogu ahead of Calvin Booth for the last two games of the season. Now the secret is out, and we may soon lose our beloved Ike forever.

As this may be Diogu’s curtain call, let us regale one another with tales of his feats of accomplishment (they are all probably still on your DVR). Let’s drink deep from the chalice that is Ike Diogu.

"Super Happy Fun Thread" dos and don’ts:

  • You are encouraged to mention that Ike averaged 12 pts. and 5 rebs. per game in April.
  • You are discouraged from mentioning that his 2nd best month was March, when he averaged 3.5 and 2.

  • You are encouraged to revel in the 60 points that Ike scored over the past two games.

  • You are discouraged from mentioning the 59 total points that he had scored this year leading up to those last two games.

  • You may suggest that the Kings re-sign Diogu.

  • You should ignore the almost $12 million cap hold should the Kings not renounce his rights, as well as the odds of him re-signing in Sacramento once he is an unrestricted free agent.

  • Remember, this is just an exhibition, not a competition. Please, no wagering.

  • You may suggest that he would make up a formidable trio with Hawes and JT, enabling us to focus on a PG in the draft.

  • You should disregard that argument if you feel that Blake Griffin is too short, as Digou measured 6-6 ½ at his pre-draft camp (in his bare feet…of course…barefeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!).

  • You are entitled to call Kenny Natt an idiot for not playing Ike Diogu.

  • You are also entitled to call Mike Montgomery, Don Nelson, Jim O’Brien and Nate McMillan idiots, as well as Chris Mullin, Donnie Walsh, Larry Bird and Kevin Pritchard.

  • Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times.

  • You should kiss mi714’s arse.

  • You should tell TZ and all of the other "site masters" to kiss your arse.

  • Jerryisms are encouraged (I like Ike, Diogu very much, etc.).

  • Pookeyisms are discouraged (BJ Mullens worthless ass > Ike Diogu, etc.).
  • Do not turn and run away from a mountain,, don't.

So, while I pour one out for Quincy, let’s pay homage to Ike Diogu. As the late, great Ike Turner would say,


"Just smile and play along, bitch."