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Merry Jimmermas! (And a Hayesy New Year)

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OK, everyone. It's that time of the year again. Time to gather the kiddies around the warm glow of the computer screen and the Sactown Royalty Yule log. A tradition that dates all the way back to 2009, and continued all the way through 2010, it's a time for reflection, celebration, and drinking. A Jim Les-tivus for the rest of us! So grab some nog, get closer to the hearth, and take a night off from shooting any fat, bearded intruders that may wander down your chimney.

Westphal's Wonderland

Turnstiles ring, are you listening,
The urinals are a glistening.
A beautiful sight,
Until it's a fright,
Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

Gone away is the Yeti,
Salmons' here, are you ready?
He dribbles around,
The shot clock winds down,
Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a point guard,
Then pretend that he will pass the ball.
He'll say: Should I launch it?
We'll say: No man!
But surely Jimmer
will save us one and all.

Later on, we'll conspire,
Of our longed coaching fire.
To face unafraid,
At least Chuck gets paid,
Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a center,
Who likes to think that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
‘Til the refs keep our frozen brother down.

When we flow, ain't it thrilling,
But when we blow, it's a chilling
We'll curse and we'll pray, the Kings fan way,
Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

Wandering in Westphal's Wonderland.

Deck The Gym

Deck the gym with Powerbalance bracelets.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
As they guard themselves from back debt.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our new apparel.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Hope like heck our new squad does gel.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

See the blazing Marcus shooting.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Meanwhile Hassan Whiteside's brooding.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Jimmer Fredette's taking measure.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
We all bask in 3-point treasure.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

We sure hope that Tyreke passes.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
The old offense was like molasses.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
J.J. Hickson's got his man pinned
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Damn, we turned it over again.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tyler's slam dunk leaves us gawking.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Thomas fits right in a stocking.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Wondering what this season holds.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
I wish I was Jerry Reynolds.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Chuck Hayes Is Not Coming To Town

You better watch out,
You better not think.
Better not guess,
I need a drink.
Chuck Hayes is not coming to town.

He's making a test,
He's taking it twice.
Is it his heart or is it just lice?
Chuck Hayes is not coming to town.

Geoff Petrie must be sleeping,
GP might be awake.
The test that once was bad is good -
Pay Chuck more before he flakes.

O! You better watch out!
You better not think.
Better not guess,

How ‘bout one more drink?
Chuck Hayes is not coming to town.
Chuck Hayes is not coming to town.

Happy Holidays, everyone!