Jersey Sure, or How I Spent the 2011 Lockout, Episode No. 12

 

We wrap up our killing of the first month of the lockout comprehensive series by recapping our best/worst at each number. The best player at each number is listed first, and the worst player is listed second. Please note that while this list is completely subjective, it is 100% correct and without argument.

0 – Olden Polynice, on the court / Olden Polynice, off the court

00 – Tony Delk / Greg Ostertag

1 – Travis Mays (brought Spud Webb and Lawrence Funderburke in trade) / Travis Mays (1/4 of a disappointing draft) This number was eventually retired in honor of Nate Archibald             

2 – Mitch Richmond (Thriller) / Michael Jackson (Bad)  Number now retired in honor of Richmond

3 – Shareef Abdur-Rahim (Special acknowledgement to the girls in Ike Diogu’s hot tub) / Antoine Wright

4 – Chris Webber / Ricky Calloway  Number now retired in honor of Webber

5 – Hedo Turkoglu / Jason Hart(less)

6 – Kings Fans / Matt Fish (special guest appearance, borrowed from the 95-96 Knicks)

7 – Jimmer Fredette Bobby Hurley / Dominic McGuire

8 – Eddie Johnson / Quincy Douby (with a shout out to Hilton Armstrong)

9 – Tariq Abdul-Wahad / Tie! – Kenny Thomas (woof!) and Luther Head

10 – Mike Bibby / Tie! Ryan Robertson and Mike Bratz

11 – Retired in honor of Bob Davies

12 – Retired in honor of Maurice Stokes

13 – Doug Christie, hopefully as a place holder for Tyreke Evans / Darryl Watkins

14 – Retired in honor of Oscar Robertson

15 – DeMarcus Cousins / Sergei Monia

16 – Peja Stojakovic / None (sorry, I can’t list Peja under "worst")

17 – Garrett Temple (Ha!) / Will Solomon

18 – Omri Casspi / Derek Smith

19 – Beno Udrih v07.08, 09.10, 10.11 / Beno Udrih, v08.09

20 – Jon Barry / Vitaly Potapenko

21 – Vlade Divac / Tie! Steve Colter, Carl Thomas, Stan Kimbrough, Rod Higgins, Trevor Wilson  Number now retired in honor of Colter, Thomas, Kimbrough, Higgins and Wilson

22 – Lionel Simmons / Jerry Eaves

23 – Wayman Tisdale / None (Tisdale, Corbin, Martin and Thornton – no bozos here)

24 – Willie Mays Tie! Reggie Theus and Bobby Jackson / Tie! Maurice Taylor and Desmond Mason

25 – Darius Songaila (sigh) / Brent Price

26 – Never worn

27 – Retired in honor of Jack Twyman

28, 29 – Never worn

30 – Kenny Smith / Billy Owens (yeah, I’m still not over it)

31 – Spencer Hawes…kidding - just wanted to see if you were paying attention - Scot Pollard / Jamal Sampson

32 – Francisco Garcia / Kevin Salvadori

33 – Brian Grant, with an Otis Thorpe chaser / Michael Bradley, with special acknowledgement for Mikki Moore

34 – Corliss Williamson (Pro’s pro) / Tony Massenburg (Shmo’s shmo)

35 – Antoine Carr / Mike Williams (Joe Kleine received consideration on both sides of this ledger)

36-39 – Never worn

40 – Jon Brockman’s mancakes > Terry Tyler’s free Whoppers / Kevin Gamble by process of elimination

41 – LaSalle Thompson / Greg (NaMaurice) Stokes

42 – Walt Williams / Tie! Pervis Ellison and Dwayne Schintzius

43 – Um…er…Jim Petersen / Er…um…Peter Aluma

44 – Retired in honor of Sam Lacey

45 – "Really? Really???" received 71% of the votes – Randy Breuer was next with 13% / Devin Gray (0%)

46-49 – Never worn

50 – Eddie House / Ben Gillery, Ralph Sampson’s knees

51 – Lawrence Funderburke / Les Jepsen

52 – Brad Miller 03-06/ Brad Miller 06-09

53 – Mark Olberding / Evers Burns (Evers Burns!)

54 – Mike Peplowski  / Derek Grimm

55 – Jason Willams / Jabari Smith

56-89 – Never worn

90 – Drew / Gooden

93 – Ron (Ron) Artest / Dan (Dan) Artest