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I got caught between two random thoughts this morning. The first thought was the dart-throwing hilarity of the old best case / worst case player association that many of us play (yours truly included). Thomas Robinson: Is he Al Horford, Al Bundy, Reggie Evans, Linda Evans, or somewhere in between? Fascinating!
The second thought was our penchant to hang nicknames on these guys. It's fun, it kills time when your team sucks to the high heavens, and Jerry Reynolds will validate us from time to time by using some of our cage droppings on the air.
So what would happen if we mixed the chocolate and the peanut butter? If we merged the thoughts of best case / worst case with the nickname thingy? Well, if someone with actual talent did it, it might come out pretty damn amusing. But because it was left to me, it came out looking something like this (using DraftExpress current 1st round mock draft for "inspiration":
| Player | Best Case | Worst Case |
| Anthony Davis | Browser!, The New Look | The Big Tweeze |
| Michael Kidd-Gilchrist | MKGeesus! | The AntiGilchrist, MGG (Michael Goat-Gilchrist) |
| Thomas Robinson | Throb | Mrs. Robinson |
| Bradley Beal | Brad to the Bone, The Beal Deal | Beal Parmesan |
| Harrison Barnes | Hambone, The Tasmanian Carolinian | C. Montgomery Barnes |
| Damian Lillard | The Omen | Lillardputian |
| Dion Waiters | Garcon | Ion (No D) |
| Austin Rivers | The Confluence | Suck my Doc |
| Andre Drummond | The Real AD | Bang the Drummond Slowly |
| Jeremy Lamb | Lambtastic | Sheep Shank |
| John Henson | Sir J.H. Franchise Saver (I've got nothing here) | Jonny Craig |
| Tyler Zeller | >Ziller | <Hawes |
| Terrence Ross | The Terror | Clearance Rack |
| Meyers Leonard | Oscar | Weiner |
| Perry Jones III | The Baylor Nailer | the Baylor Failer |
| Moe Harkless | Moe Amazing! | Moe Heartless |
| Terrence Jones | Terrence a new one | NaHoneycutt |
| Kendall Marshall | The Reader, Marshall Law | Can'tdell |
| Jared Sullinger | The Jeweler | Subway |
| Arnett Moultrie | Bulldog | Shih Tzu |
| Royce White | Rolls Royce | White? Wong! |
| Fab Melo | Fabulous | Melodramatic |
| Quincy Miller | The M.E. | Doubyous |
| Andrew Nicholson | The Android | The Bonnie Boner |
| Evan Fournier | Evan-sent | Fourniercator |
| Draymond Green | The Infantry, The Nuclear Gnat | Dramamine Green |
| Festus Ezeli | EZ Does It | InFestus |
| Jeff Taylor | Taylor Made | Off the rack |
| Will Barton | We Beazy (Again, nothing) | The Last Will & Testament of Geoff Petrie |
| Marquis Teague | The Maquis de God | Teague Welder |
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